Season 39: Spring 2019

Welcome to Season #39, the Spring 2019 session.

Tonight we celebrated Dennis Laube's birthday and the completion of 19-1/2 years of bowling, with more bowlers and more teams that we have ever had. Throughout this past season we have laughed, we have cried, we have kissed affordable PBR goodbye.

C.I.C.K. Ass - Spring 2019 Champs

  • In terms of league average, this was our 9th-worst ever with a combined league average of 145.6484. But, in terms of the number of 200+ games rolled, this was our 12th best season ever, with a 178 200+ games rolled all season.
  • John Richardson (Fall 2005 - Spring 2008) had an insane week in his debut season, setting three records that held on for 13+ years: Top Individual Power Rank, High Series Handicap, and Top Head-to-Head. All three have fallen within the past few months.

    (1) At the end of last season, you may remember that Curtis Whiles broke John's stranglehold on the all-time Head-to-Head record, with a perfect 100% score. (Richardson also had 100%, but it was against a much smaller pool of players.)
    (2) Then, in week 6 of this season, Matthew Taylor broke the High Series Handicap record with his 789.
    (3) Finally, in week 13, the High Series Handicap was broken again with AJ Hofmann's 810, which also stole Richardson's grasp on Top Power Rank Performance.

  • Nobody crossed the 1,000 mark this season in terms of total number of games rolled. If all currently-retired bowlers stay retired, the next person who will be able to do so is AJ Hofmann, in Spring 2021.
  • The Tournament of Champions has been decided by a wide range of scores, all the way up into the 200s. This season, however, was the lowest-scoring final round in league history. Nicole Yancy's below-average 88 beating Luke Melton's even-more-below-average 113 in game 3 is the lowest score ever to win the ToC Championship.

For those who missed the video presentation, you can see it below. And, it's been corrected to replace the accidental inclusion of NBA Rookie of the Year (2018) Ben Simmons with the correct person who actually did bowl in our league this season!


Women's High Series Scratch: Monica Hufford (523)

Women's High Game Scratch: Chantal Jacot (208)

Women's High Series Handicap: Freda Schroeder (645)

Women's High Game Handicap: Emily Nicolet (236)

Men's High Series Scratch: Matthew Taylor (747)

Men's High Game Scratch: AJ Hofmann (279)

Men's High Series Handicap: Aaron Barber (719)

Men's High Game Handicap: Josh Rothermel (277)

Aaron Barber is #1 Power ranked bowler, AJ Hofmann is runner up.

C.I.C.K. Ass is #1 Power ranked team, Pin Is King is runner up.

Head to Head: Ken M. Wilson would have won 65.782% of all possible one-on-one matchups this season, Ian Goetz comes in second with 64.632%


Ian Goetz Rookie of the Season

(Which first year bowler did the most for his or her team in their initial outing?)

Seth Gunderson Captain of the Season

(Which team captain provided the most leadership, dedication, and inspiration to their team?)

Carl Goetz Defensive Bowler of the Season

Which player with an average of 150 or above proved to be the strongest finisher in crucial tenth frame situations?

Underdog of the Season

Bowler with an average under 150 who was the biggest spark for their team.

  • Runner Up: Alison Radke
  • Winner: Chantal Jacot
  • Fun fact: This is the second season in a row that the winner's name starts with "Cha"

Bob Brunker/Rob Kaszuba Sportsmanship Award

This award should go to the one male bowler who continually shows the best example of good sportsmanship throughout the entire season.

  • Runner Up: Josh Rothermel
  • Winner: Rob Kaszuba
  • (Why do we even waste time voting on this in the seasons Rob bowls?)

Emily Podhajsky Sportsmanship Award

This award should go to the one female bowler who continually shows the best example of good sportsmanship throughout the entire season.

  • Runner Up: Chantal Jacot / Emily Nicolet
  • Winner: Alison Radke

Pat Searcy 'Life of the Party' Award

Named for a man whose exuberant personality made bowling nights more fun for all those around him. Given to the person who livens up Tuesday nights and brings a smile to all our faces.

Emily DeCoursey (avg 90) had a pretty impressive score during the second game of 9-pin bowling!

Unfortunately, though, they were playing Golf rules.

Sub of the Season

The sub who did the most for the team or teams they helped

Favorite Team to Roll Against

  • Runner Up: JoAnne's Dirty PJs
  • Winner: #MGAGA

Most Feared Team to Roll Against

  • Runner Up: Pin Is King
  • Winner: C.I.C.K. Ass

Most Valuable Bowler - People's Choice

Who did everyone think did the most for their team?

Actual MVB, Runner Up:

  • A ridiculous 4-way tie of Aubrey Moren, Carl Goetz, Ian Goetz, and Ken M. Wilson; each personally responsible for 9 of his team's wins

Actual MVB, For Real:

  • Ben Spencer, personally responsible for 13 of his team's wins.

Cory Corpenning - this season's Gone But Not Forgotten

The David Winger "Gone But Not Forgotten" Award was given to Cory Chorpenning. The Chorp made his debut back in the Fall 2006 session as a sub before officially joining in the Spring 2007 session, finishing with a Rookie of the Season nod above the league's future 2nd best bowler of all time (Don Glasscock). The following season he led his team to his first GutterAlley championship.

A formidable 10th frame finisher, you did not want to find yourself up against Cory with the game on the line. Twice, he was selected by his peers as the Carl Goetz Defensive Bowler of the Season. He was the People's Choice MVB as well as the #1 Head-to-Head bowler in the Fall 2008 season. After a 3-year absense, he returned in the Fall 2012 session to win his second championship.

After six full seasons, - and only 279 games in total - an out-of-state job opportunity took Cory away from the league in 2013. Despite his relatively short career, Cory's name remains cemented in many of the highest rolling Top 25 lists. As of today he's still in the top ten for most 200+ games in a single season, most 600+ series in a single season, total pins in a single season, quickest to 100 wins, and highest lifetime average. His 289 game in the first week of the Spring 2009 session remains the 3rd highest score ever shot in league history. He's ranked the 8th best bowler in league history, ahead of all but four members of the current 12-member Hall of Fame.

Besides being known as a nice guy and a great bowler, Cory was also an excellent coach that would help fine-tune anyone's game that asked. A perfect example was his teammate Kendall Kukowski, who used to have trouble keeping the ball on the lane before Cory began working with him. Under Chorpenning's tutelage, Kukowski became a serious threat to opponents en route to becoming one of the most improved bowlers the league had ever seen and, more surprisingly, the 21st best bowler of all time.

Rob Kaszuba, a Pillar of our league

A P&P Pillar Award was given to Rob Kaszuba.

For more than a decade now, the members of the league could always count on a few things every Tuesday night: the consumption of beer, outbursts of emotion (both good and bad), and a smile from the league's gentle giant, Rob Kaszuba. Both his teammates and opponents alike can attest to his eternally easy-going and supportive nature during even the most heated battles on the lanes. It was because of this that the Bob Brunker Good Sportsmanship Award was renamed to include Rob's name in it as well. For eight consecutive seasons (Fall 2011 - Spring 2015), Rob was chosen by his peers as demonstrating the best sportsmanship in the league. No one else in the history of GutterAlley has even come close to being chosen as a season favorite in the same category that many times in a row.

Off the lanes, he's coaxed a number of new faces into the league to roll both with and against him. On the lanes, Rob has quietly made his mark in several solid Top 25s. As of this writing he's 13th on both the Most MVBs and Most MVB Runner-Ups, 12th for Most Career Wins, and even 12th on the Top 25 list of Most Games Won Single-Handedly (ahead of several Hall of Famers). He's also one of the league's most prolific bowlers, having rolled in 17 seasons. He's been a league champion twice, having won it all in the Fall '13 and Spring '15 seasons.

Rob's a rare example of someone that no matter the outcome of a matchup, he's the first guy up to you to tell you "good game" and why he's the standard by which we'll always measure good sportsmanship for years to come.

Ian Goetz - Hall of Fame Inductee

After getting voted in something like 3 seasons ago but now finally able to present (yes, sometimes we're that backlogged), the Hall of Fame welcomed Ian Goetz as it's 12th member. (One more and we can re-create The Last Supper.)

Back when he was only 14 years-old, a snot-nosed kid was invited to bowl as a sub in a blind spot on his father's team just for fun. Although the scores were not allowed to count due to him being deemed too young to bowl in the league at the time, he got his first taste of GutterAlley competition and apparently liked it. Today, that kid -- Ian Goetz -- is the newest inductee into the GutterAlley Hall of Fame.

Making his debut in the Spring 2010 season - and subsequently winning Rookie of the Season as well as his first of now six championship titles - Goetz has accomplished quite a bit in his eleven seasons as part of the league. He's currently ranked as the 7th best bowler in our league's history, ahead of all but two of the other 11 members of the Hall of Fame. When his finger hasn't been ripped to shreds by his ball, he's managed to land spots in the top ten of some of the toughest Top 25 lists including Highest Lifetime Averages, Most 200+ Games, Most 600+ Series, Total Pins in a Single Season, Most #1 Head-to-Head Performances, Most #1 Power Rankings, and Win Percentage. He's also selected by his peers as the People's Choice MVB and notched a Tournament of Champions victory. Simply put, Ian's had quite an impressive run over the years culminating in the Fall of 2014 in which he finally ended a season with an average higher than his Hall of Fame father -- a feat he's since repeated twice more, his championship season in the Fall of 2015 and again this season, proving once and for all that he can stand on his own and not just ride the coattails of certain teammates.

The infestation of Schroeder-Goetzes in the Hall of Fame now spans three generations. We should probably start spraying for them.

The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines the term underdog as "a predicted loser in a struggle or contest". Coming into the league as the lone member of the third generation in The Freda Dynasty -- which has given us the #1 and #2 female bowlers as well as the #4 male bowler of all time in our league's history, not to mention that these three are all Hall of Fame members already -- Ian debuted beneath an enormous shadow; a verifiable underdog. And yet, he managed to prove that he can rise to the occasion and compete at the same level and even top it. It is due to this tenacity that the league will be renaming the "Underdog of the Season” award in his honor...a Season Favorite award Ian could never win outright because his average prevented him from being in contention with the exception of the lone season he bowled entirely with his opposite hand...and won it.

Please continue to Ian's Hall of Fame page to see what others had to say about him and his responses to our interview.

Earlier today Valorye received flowers and a thank-you note from Scoot and AJ on behalf of the league.

The Scooter J Murdock Git-R-Done Award this season was given to Valorye Williams, a part-time employee in AMF Pro Bowl's back office who has been a tremendous ally of our league and a very helpful behind-the-scenes resource.

We were introduced to Valorye back around 2014, when somebody kept drawing penises on his score sheets, then started stealing everyone else's do to the same. It was when Valorye became fed up with it that we learned that after we turn in our score sheets there is an actual person somewhere in the back whose job it is to read every single thing written on a score sheet and if it conflicts with what the computer says, to override what's in the computer with what the score sheet says.

Over time Scoot began to learn that though Valorye is a part-time employee, in many situations going directly to her is the easiest and best way to get something done. She handles rosters, lineup changes, fixing incorrect scores caught too late, schedules, and more.

Our league has given her more than her fair share of terrible handwriting, crumpled or ripped up score sheets, wet score sheets, doodles, team or bowler named surreptitiously changed as jokes, and more. But though she was initially annoyed, we have since grown to be one of her favorite leagues to work with. (Or at least we hope!)

This season Valorye helped us secure an additional pair of lanes, helped out when Forkin Shirtballs arrived and happily customized our schedule weekly during our second "half".

If is for these reasons that we are recognizing Valorye as a person who has gone above and beyond to help the league.

New Personal Best Games

Bowler New
AJ Hofmann 279 215 Fall 2017,  wk 16
Alison Radke 196 185 Fall 2011,  wk 13
Ben Conaghan 171 137 Fall 2018,  wk 3
Ben Spencer 214 199 Fall 2017,  wk 13
Chantal Jacot 208 177 Fall 2017,  wk 11
Conor Clarke 214 190 Fall 2018,  wk 4
Curtis Whiles 235 213 Fall 2018,  wk 14
Emily Nicolet 164 151 Spring 2018,  wk 11
James Tott 219 192 Fall 2018,  wk 16
Jeremy Cline 228 226 Fall 2018,  wk 11
Josh Rothermel 214 187 Fall 2018,  wk 5
Luke Melton 197 167 Fall 2018,  wk 9
Matthew Taylor 279 266 Spring 2018,  wk 8
Neil Hufford 182 176 Spring 2018,  wk 10
Ryan Schooley 204 (t) 204 Spring 2008,  wk 11

New Personal Best Series

Bowler New
AJ Hofmann 672 569 Fall 2017,  wk 4
Ben Conaghan 413 378 Fall 2018,  wk 3
Ben Spencer 581 531 Spring 2018,  wk 16
Chantal Jacot 471 403 Fall 2017,  wk 11
Conor Clarke 591 517 Fall 2018,  wk 4
Jeremy Cline 586 569 Fall 2018,  wk 11
Josh Rothermel 512 502 Spring 2018,  wk 14
Luke Melton 485 442 Fall 2018,  wk 7
Matthew Taylor 747 707 Spring 2018,  wk 6
Monica Hufford 523 522 Fall 2018,  wk 5

New Personal Best Average

Bowler New
Ryan Schooley 144 142 Spring 2008
Alison Radke 140 131 Spring 2015
Shane Pfaffly 141 138 Spring 2010
Ben Spencer 163 157 Fall 2018
James Tott 149 142 Fall 2018
Chantal Jacot 114 108 Fall 2017
Matthew Taylor 198 194 Spring 2018
Jeremy Cline 180 167 Fall 2018
Ben Conaghan 117 107 Fall 2018
Conor Clarke 153 149 Fall 2018
Luke Melton 134 131 Fall 2018
Curtis Whiles 151 149 Fall 2018


Ben Spencer


"Where is Scoot??? I'm gonna FFFF********K him."

Alison Radke, after getting a turkey in week 15.

Pos. Team name Record Percent Total Pins
1 CICK Ass 49-15 .766 32,698
2 Pin Is King 40-24 .625 34,992
3 BDE 36-28 .563 30,148
4 We Don't Give a Split 36-28 .563 29,963
5 Scoot's Raging Bone Spur 35.5-28.5 .555 27,340
6 Open Frames R Us 33.5-30.5 .523 26,606
7 Extreme Outliers 33-31 .516 20,995
8 The Pin Is Mightier 31-33 .484 24,342
9 #MGAGA 29-35 .453 33,866
10 JoAnne's Dirty PJs 25-39 .391 24,191
11 Bowl Movements 24-40 .375 24,740
12 Holy Forkin Shirt Balls 12-52 .188 13,540

Top Individual Achievements for Spring 2019
Men's High Series Scratch Women's High Series Scratch
Matthew Taylor - 747
Ken Wilson - 684
Aaron Barber - 677
AJ Hofmann - 672
Luke Clark - 664
Monica Hufford - 523
Freda Schroeder - 475
Alison Radke - 475 (t)
Chantal Jacot - 471
Mary Clarke - 411
JoAnne Barber - 403
Men's High Series Handicap Women's High Series Handicap
AJ Hofmann - 810
Matthew Taylor - 789
Aaron Barber - 719
Ken Wilson - 702
Josh Rothermel - 701
Chantal Jacot - 690
Freda Schroeder - 645
Monica Hufford - 643
Alison Radke - 619
JoAnne Barber - 610
Men's High Game Scratch Women's High Game Scratch
Matthew Taylor - 279
AJ Hofmann - 279 (t)
Garrett Rathbone - 255
Carl Goetz - 255 (t)
Luke Clark - 246
Dennis Walling - 245
Ken Wilson - 243
Ian Goetz - 243 (t)
Chantal Jacot - 208
Freda Schroeder - 206
Alison Radke - 196
Monica Hufford - 188
Emily Nicolet - 164
Men's High Game Handicap Women's High Game Handicap
AJ Hofmann - 325
Matthew Taylor - 293
Garrett Rathbone - 290
Josh Rothermel - 277
Dennis Walling - 267
Chantal Jacot - 281
Freda Schroeder - 261
Emily Nicolet - 236
Monica Hufford - 228
JoAnne Barber - 227
Men's High Pins Over Average Women's High Pins Over Average
AJ Hofmann +137
Garrett Rathbone +99
Matthew Taylor +97
Josh Rothermel +93
James Tott +73
Dennis Walling +73 (t)
Chantal Jacot +100
Freda Schroeder +75
Emily Nicolet +54
Emily DeCoursey +49
JoAnne Barber +45
Men's Most Improved Bowler Women's Most Improved Bowler
Matthew Taylor +20
Michael Whiles +18
Ben Spencer +14
Chuck Kissee +11
Dennis Walling +11 (t)
Luke Melton +10
Freda Schroeder +17
Emily DeCoursey +10
Chantal Jacot +8
Nicole Yancy +6
JoAnne Barber +6 (t)
Emily Nicolet +3

Related Posts from Season 39:



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The following bowlers had wanted to bowl in the Fall 2023 season but there wasn't room, so please consider them first when a sub is needed.

Ian Goetz tells Donny to STFU.