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The Lava Lamp

Posted by ScooterJ March 5, 2019 Spring 2019, Week 7 View Score Sheets

Like the globs in a lava lamp, teams have been taking turns rising to the top only to then quickly sink back down. This week was no exception, as CICK Ass returned to the top with We Don't Give a Split bubbling up just behind, while Pin Is King and #MGAGA have cooled and sunk, perhaps to be heated back up again.

The seventh week of Spring 2019 saw six teams climb in the standings, while four teams slipped. One bowler set a new personal best series, and two rolled new personal high games. Alison Radke picked up this week's high game (177) and series (475) for the women. As for the men, Seth Gunderson snagged this week's high game with a 214, and high series was earned by Aaron Barber with a 572. Read on for all the rest of the details!

First up, on lanes 1 & 2: Half of Bowl Movements shared a beer, laughter, and the occasional ball return kick with 3/4 of CICK Ass. Despite an enema administered by Tony Marin via his above-average 350 series, the BMs passed only 1 win against CICK Ass. Concurrently, Ian Goetz with his 558 series inspired CICK Ass as his team took the match with 3 wins. Bowl Movements plop 2 spots in the standings to 11th place, while CICK Ass returns to 1st.

Each glob represents one of our teams over the past few weeks.

On lanes 3 & 4: We Don't Give a Split got their turn to take advantage of Ray & Stevie. Charging into the fray behind Phil Schroeder with his 457 series, Split Not Given loaded up with a clean sweep over the Blind Team. We Don't Give a Split climbs 1 spot in the standings to 2nd place, while the Blind Team forever remains in 12th.

On lanes 5 & 6: JoAnne's Dirty PJs celebrated the return of PBR with an early crushing win over Scoot's Raging Bone Spur. Propelled by the skills of a once-again-happy Jeremy Varnell with his 452 series, Dirty PJs accomplished enough in game 1 to split the series with Bone Spurs. Across the ball return, Scott Murdock with his 456 series filed down the Bone Spurs as they matched their opponent in wins. JoAnne's Dirty PJs remains in 10th place, while Bone Spurs move up 1 spot to 5th. (AJ Hofmann wanted me mention that this is higher than #MGAGA.)

On lanes 7 & 8: In what amounted to a David vs Goliath situation, Pin Is King arrived on the battlefield expecting to lay easy waste to Extreme Outliers. However, though led Michael Gordon with his 554 series, PinIs Kings got swept by Outliers. This is because Ben Spencer with his better-than-normal 486 series (actually, EVERYONE on the Outliersbowled well over average, especially Most Valuable Bowler Nicole Yancy) as they slung 9-14 pound rocks to topple the giant. Pin Is King plummets 2 spots in the standings to 3rd place, while Outliers jump 2 spots to 9th.

On lanes 9 & 10: 3/4 of Open Frames R Us waged a heated competition against 3/4 of The Pin Is Mightier. With top billing by #1 Power-Ranked James Tott and his astonishing 512 series, Open Frames collected 3 wins against Mightiers. Over on the other side, Curtis Whiles with his better-than-normal 510 series motivated Mightiers despite his team notching only a single win. Open Frames R Us climb 1 spot in the standings to 7th place, while Mightiers sink 1 spot to 8th.

Finally, down on lanes 11 & 12: BDE were mean liberal bullies as they mocked and shamed the red hats of #MGAGA. Highlighting the skills of #1 Head-to-Head Chadwick Andrews and his above-average 542 series, BDE enjoyed a clean sweep over #MGAGA. Countering this, Aaron Barber with his better-than-normal 572 series took charge of red hats but could not prevent his team from getting swept. BDE climbs 1 spot in the standings to 4th place, while Hashtags plunge 2 spots to 6th.

By the way, though we don't publish Lease Valuable Bowler, this week it was somebody in the above matchup and that person scored below "The Blind Team" in the rankings. :)

Bowlers enjoying a guest admission to The 200 Club include: Aaron Barber (206), Carl Goetz (209), Ian Goetz (203), James Tott (209), and Seth Gunderson (214)

New personal high games were set tonight by James Tott (209, previous best 208) and Emily Nicolet (164, previous best 151). In addition, a new personal best series was rolled by Luke Melton (448, previous best 442).

In this week's Tournament of Champions brackets: Nick Kinney swept Division 1, while Jeremy Varnell staked a claim for the Iron Throne in Division 2. Chadwick Andrews dominated Division 3, and Nicole Yancy cleaned up Division 4. Finally, Dennis Cummings (Division 4) mopped up this week's Interdivisional bracket. And Chantal Jacot (Division 4) proved that she belongs in the Master Bowling Nation by playing with herself to completion. In terms of overall points: Ian Goetz holds the reins in Division 1; Rob Kaszuba dominates Division 2; Pat Hamell runs the show in Division 3; and Dennis Cummings tops Division 4.


  • First, on lanes 1&2, 12th-place Ray & Stevie will hang out with 9th-place Extreme Outliers (hcp 5). The Blind Team is expected to do absolutely nothing since they don't exist; while Outliers are forecast to drop their average a bit while they endure a rough night.
  • Moving to lanes 3&4, 5th-place Scoot's Raging Bone Spur will chuck some balls with 11th-place Bowl Movements (hcp 34). Bone Spurs might roll a little low and just barely miss getting swept; while Movements ought to hold steady as they enjoy their victories.
  • Then, over on lanes 5&6, 1st-place CICK Ass (hcp 49) will tussle with 6th-place #MGAGA. CICK Ass will likely have a bit of an off night and just barely lose the series; while Hashtags will probably drop their average a bit even as they enjoy their victories.
  • Next up, on lanes 7&8, 2nd-place We Don't Give a Split will challenge 7th-place Open Frames R Us (hcp 64). Split Not Given might roll a little low, but split the series with Open Frames; while Open Frames ought to drop their average a bit while they keep the series tied.
  • Moving to lanes 9&10, 10th-place JoAnne's Dirty PJs (hcp 113) will chill with 4th-place BDE. Dirty PJs will likely maintain their current strength as they and split the series with BDE; while BDE will probably drop their average a bit while they keep the series tied.
  • Finally, on lanes 11&12, 8th-place The Pin Is Mightier (hcp 196) will battle 3rd-place Pin Is King. Mightiers are predicted to maintain their current strength as they get swept; while PinIs Kings are anticipated to raise their average while they rack up a sweep.

*(Remember, the predicted results above are based on mathematical extrapolations and can be changed by all sorts of factors. If you don't like how your team's results are predicted, you and your teammates have the power to prove the math wrong!)


Nicole Yancy
Runner Up:
(See Posting)


James Tott
Runner Up:
Chadwick Andrews


Chadwick Andrews
Runner Up:
Nick Kinney

"Oh, that's Monica's dog. I think it's a Pomeranian. I can't leave him home alone or he eats the furniture."

Dennis Walling, explaining who Jonathan Vigliaturo is to Nicole.

Pos. Team name Record Percent Total Pins Change
1 CICK Ass 21-7 .750 13,673 +1
2 We Don't Give a Split 19-9 .679 13,044 +1
3 Pin Is King 18-10 .643 15,489 -2
4 BDE 18-10 .643 13,390 +1
5 Scoot's Raging Bone Spur 15-13 .536 11,826 +1
6 #MGAGA 14-14 .500 15,220 -2
7 Open Frames R Us 13-15 .464 11,566 +1
8 The Pin Is Mightier 12-16 .429 10,403 -1
9 Extreme Outliers 12-16 .429 8,694 +2
10 JoAnne's Dirty PJs 11-17 .393 10,479 n/a
11 Bowl Movements 10-18 .357 10,986 -2
12 Holy Forkin Shirt Balls 0-28 .000 1,440 n/a

Top Individual Achievements for Week 7
Men's High Series Scratch Women's High Series Scratch
Aaron Barber - 572
Nick Kinney - 563
Ian Goetz - 558
Michael Gordon - 554
Seth Gunderson - 549
Alison Radke - 475
Freda Schroeder - 420
Emily Nicolet - 383
JoAnne Barber - 378
Chantal Jacot - 373
Men's High Series Handicap Women's High Series Handicap
James Tott - 651
Chadwick Andrews - 640
Luke Melton - 628
Aaron Barber - 622
Pat Hamell - 617
Alison Radke - 619
Freda Schroeder - 604
Chantal Jacot - 603
Emily Nicolet - 599
JoAnne Barber - 594
Men's High Game Scratch Women's High Game Scratch
Seth Gunderson - 214
Carl Goetz - 209
James Tott - 209 (t)
Aaron Barber - 206
Ian Goetz - 203
Nick Kinney - 195
Alison Radke - 177
Emily Nicolet - 164
Freda Schroeder - 162
JoAnne Barber - 134
Chantal Jacot - 128
Men's High Game Handicap Women's High Game Handicap
James Tott - 255
Luke Melton - 241
Carl Goetz - 226
AJ Hofmann - 226 (t)
Seth Gunderson - 225
Pat Hamell - 225 (t)
Ben Spencer - 225 (t)
Emily Nicolet - 236
Alison Radke - 225
Freda Schroeder - 223
Nicole Yancy - 215
JoAnne Barber - 206
Men's Pins Over Average Women's Pins Over Average
James Tott - 67
Luke Melton - 56
Pat Hamell - 41
AJ Hofmann - 38
Ben Spencer - 35
Emily Nicolet - 54
Nicole Yancy - 40
Freda Schroeder - 39
Alison Radke - 37
Chantal Jacot - 24
JoAnne Barber - 24 (t)

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