Bowler Profile 

Sean Simmons
Career High Game:230MVBs:   6
Spring 2024 Season
AverageGameSeries
Career High Series:   613#1 Power Rankings:   6
Titles Won:0#1 Head-to-Head:   5
Debut:Fall 2015
Achievements:0
Seasons:6
ToC Champ:0 (2 2nd)
Sean has not bowled this season. Sean bowled most recently in the Fall 2018 season.

Sean Simmons made his league debut in the Fall 2015 season.

Having rolled 291 games over the course of 6 seasons in his GutterAlley career, Simmons carries a lifetime average of 159.

To date, Sean's highest game shot in league was a 230 bowled in Game #2 during Week #15 of the Spring 2016 session and his highest series in league was the 613 he rolled in Week #10 during the Fall 2017 season.

He has been named the Most Valuable Bowler 6 time(s) and the runner-up 6 time(s).


Sean has bowled for:
  -Fall 2018: Serious Bowlers   (Avg: N/A)   (My profile for this team)
  -Spring 2018: HOF Sandwich   (Avg: 171)   (My profile for this team)
  -Fall 2017: Roll, Drink, Repeat   (Avg: 174)   (My profile for this team)
  -Spring 2017: Ebowla   (Avg: 149)   (My profile for this team)
  -Fall 2016: W.A.Q.P.T.G.B.T.E!   (Avg: 150)   (My profile for this team)
  -Spring 2016: 404: Team Name Not Found   (Avg: 164)   (My profile for this team)
  -Fall 2015: 404: Team Name Not Found   (Avg: 144)   (My profile for this team)


 

Sean has unlocked the following Spring 2024 achievements...


A listing (from most current to furthest back) of any write-up posts in which Sean has been mentioned:
  • The Voter Rolls (Nov 6th, 2018) - Last night, based on exit polling plus early returns, Bowling News Network (BNN) called first place for Serious Bowlers. Boy, are we red-faced about that one. We haven't missed a call that badly since we projected Hiillary Clinton the Tournament of Champions winner in Fall 2016! The twelfth week of Fall 2018 saw one team climb in the standings, while one team slipped. Monica Hufford picked up this week's high game (172) and series (493) for the women. As for the men, Seth Gunderson snagged this week's high game with a 233, and high series was earned by Aubrey Moren with a 565. Read on for all the rest of the details!

  • Spring 2018 Recap (Jul 11th, 2018) -

  • Fall 2017 Recap (Dec 13th, 2017) - 36 seasons of bowling are now behind us, and while we didn't set much in the way of records, having 10 teams brought us some new twists and turns and the largest pool of prize money (just shy of $2200) we have seen in quite some time!

  • Another Season, Another Upset (Dec 5th, 2017) - For the second season in a row, a second place team made a shocking comeback at the last possible moment to steal the championship from the expected winner. And, the common element in both comebacks is Aaron Barber. Is he a good luck charm that teams will fight to recruit in the off-season?

  • Holy NotContra, Batman! (Nov 28th, 2017) - With the last regular night of bowling in the history books, the remote possibility of the season ending in a three-way tie has faded away. Instead, next week Holy Sandbaggers, Batman! will attempt to protect their cherished first-place position from their only remaining challenger: NotContra.

  • Beware Of Doug (Nov 14th, 2017) - There was some pretty freaking amazing rolling tonight. JoAnne Gordon rolled a new personal best series (405) and new high game (157). Michael Smith rolled a new personal best series (464) and tied his personal high game of 192. Ben Spencer broke his previous best game with a 199. Dennis Blake and Aubrey Moren were both on fire. Nick Kinney went insane with a 268. But nobody came close to what sub / 5th-man Doug Bonney did tonight.

  • The Dirty Dozens (Nov 7th, 2017) - Twelve weeks of bowling are now in the books... the season is 3/4 over, and while one team has maintained a two-game lead for three weeks in a row, the top 5 spots in the standings remain too close for us to start predicting a winner just yet.

  • Balloween (Oct 31st, 2017) - With tonight being Halloween, almost half the league was bewitched by demons and unable escape from the dark presence of Satan long enough to roll. For those of us who surrounded ourselves with sufficient garlic, silver, and holy water to avoid all of the evil, here is how tonight's games went.

  • Finally, A Leader Emerges (Oct 24th, 2017) - Our position round has brought us a first in the Fall 2017 Seasoon. For the first time this season, a team has moved into first place that has more than just a 1-game lead!

  • Swinging Back Around (Oct 18th, 2017) - [insert excerpt]

  • Break Out The Scissors! (Oct 10th, 2017) - It's been a while since we've had to cut the scoresheets in half due to a printing error. But it's also been a while since we've had 10 teams and week 8 wasn't the position round. So how did everything shake out after tonight's massive cut-and-paste job?

  • Post Bowl Time (Oct 3rd, 2017) - Post-bowling scores are in, let's see how everything turned out!

  • Cash Stash Lashes First With Panache (Sep 19th, 2017) - Being Lamewads, we here at Gutteralley can't claim to know what "Mustache Cash Stash" means or what the Google Image Search images that we found mean. But we do know enough to know that MCS = this week's first-place flavor-of-the-week.

  • The Left Rises (For Real This Time) (Sep 12th, 2017) - The Alt-Left can now finally celebrate a legitimate claim to first place, while last week's 1st place team plummets all the way to 5th. Meanwhile, the Tournament of Champions also started up with its new 40-bowler format. Read on to see how it all shook out!

  • Led By The Lefties (Sep 5th, 2017) - The two teams that feature right-handed bowlers who are bowling left-handed this season are leaving the rest of us in the dust. Have they uncovered a shocking new bowling secret???

  • P.B.R.R.I.P. (Aug 29th, 2017) - Tonight our league received the worst news it has heard since the time the bar ran out of Sam Adams: PBR is being replaced with Boulevard Wheat at the bar because no one was drinking PBR. Tell that to the members of JG's Rusty Nuts, who average 5-6 pitchers of it a week. Their Tuesday nights are ruined. To find out how devastating this news was, read on...

  • A Flood of Big Games Eclipses the Usual Week 1 Sandbagging (Aug 22nd, 2017) - The Fall 2017 season began with two teams' worth of bowlers absent, but that didn't stop some big games from causing some surprising upsets across the lanes.

  • Tightening the Grip (Apr 25th, 2017) - Next week is the last week of regular season bowling, and after a season that at first seemed to be heading toward finally letting someone else win for a change, it appears the dark overlords are getting a tighter grasp on yet another victory. Just two weeks left for any of the remaining competition to make a play!

  • Another RoboWriteup :( (Apr 18th, 2017) - Sorry, folks. Scoot only got 3 hours of sleep last night, so we have to do another computer-generated writeupo this week. :( Sorry about that!

  • Mopping It Up (Apr 12th, 2017) - Tonight was a night of almost all sweeps, and saw a formerly near-last-place team barrel its way into the top half of the standings. Meanwhile the formerly first-place team became increasingly frustrated with their inability to regain the lead and it cost them their most precious commodity.

  • The RoboWriteup (Apr 5th, 2017) - Scoot had a lot he needed to do tonight and didn't have time to write a recap, so this week's update is the automated, computer-generated version. Sorry about that!

  • The Uncles Wiggled Back Up (Mar 28th, 2017) - Last week left things with the top three teams only one game apart. Now they are three games apart and a new leader has emerged.

  • Getting Tighter (Mar 21st, 2017) - While the only position change in the standings tonight was a flip right in the very center of the lineup, the race for first place definitely became a lot more interesting as now only one game separates the top three teams. Who will have what it takes to come out ahead 7 weeks from now?

  • Halfway to the Pot o' Gold (Mar 14th, 2017) - Our season is now officially half over. Three teams are sliding along the downhill side of the rainbow towards the pot of gold, while everyone else is still back on the uphill slope, weighed down with too much corned beef and green beer

  • Gearing Up for the Position Round (Mar 7th, 2017) - The season is already nearly halfway over, and as we move into next week's position round the only shakeup in the standings is the surprise result of Frankee's Uncles no longer rolling on lanes 1-2 next week.

  • Fat Tuesday? Nah, It's Just a Beer Belly. (Feb 28th, 2017) - Tonight we had several bowlers off celebrating Mardis Gras, and for a while it seemed some of the lanes might take the night off as well. Luckily everything came together and we finished our games with little debauchery, no arrests, and no one getting run over.

  • Our Gutters ♥ Your Balls (Feb 14th, 2017) - While many bowlers were either absent or pre-bowled, most of the league knew what their true love is and spend Valentine's evening chucking balls down the lane.

  • So Shines a Good Deed in a Weary World (Jan 31st, 2017) - With so much darkness and suffering in our country and the world the last 11 days, it is nothing short of miraculous when a tiny ray of light cuts through the darkness and brings hope to a world in sorrow. So, Omaha Hambone, we thank you.

  • 2016 Is A Wrap (Dec 21st, 2016) - With 34 seasons of bowling now behind us, the Fall 2016 season ended tonight as the 3rd best season in league history in terms of combined league average. Congratulations, everyone, on a great season!

  • Halfway Done! (Oct 11th, 2016) - It's on. Despite all the sickness and injuries and disappearing team members, our league came back to form in a big way this week. This week was our league's strongest showing since April 19 and the second-strongest performance we've seen so far in 2016. We had more 200+ game tonight (14) than we've seen in any week so far this season. The season is now halfway over, and while last season's champions remain in the lead, a challenger is finally emerging who is chipping away at their lead.

  • Don't Tread On Mead (Sep 20th, 2016) - Tonight was supposed to see our league finally as full as it's going to get this season, but like several other bowlers our new guy was infected with pestilence. However, Michael Mead showed up and inoculated us with a shot of kick-ass bowling that rocketed him to the top of the individual standings.

  • Tournament Takes Off, Ray & Stevie Take It Slow (Sep 14th, 2016) - For the first time in league history, the team rolling against the Blind (Vacancy) Team not only didn't finish early, they were actually the last to finish. Meanwhile a late addition to the league (Ben Spencer) made for a complicated first week for the Tournament of Champions, and next week will be equally complicated when another new bowler -- likely the last new bowler this season -- will join us. And, finally, find out how the Carolina Reaper may come into play this season.

  • Sweepage (Sep 6th, 2016) - All four matchups ended in sweeps tonight. Who did the sweeping and who wound up in the dustbin? The answers to these questions and more, in this week's episode of All My Gutterballs.

  • Spring 2016 is History (May 24th, 2016) -

  • Why Did Pocahontas Leave Her Hairpiece By The Campfire? (May 18th, 2016) - Tonight, on our last real night of bowling, we were joined by several new people that had never rolled in our league all season. It was the strangest thing, though... none of them were ever seen at the same time as Amber, Michelle S., Angela, Bob, Kody, or John Boren. Very! weird!

  • Back to Back Clinchings (May 10th, 2016) - Not even the threats of Mexican wrestlers and their drug lord sidekicks could keep Fallop Ian from clinching the championship!

  • Split Sisters Split It and Swept It (May 3rd, 2016) - The Split Sisters utilized the power of high squeaky sounds of excitement to eke out their first sweep of the season! How did everyone else do? Read on to find out...

  • Tailgating! (Apr 19th, 2016) - When bowling begins with a tailgating session — certainly a first in our league's history and very possibly a first in the history of AMF Pro Bowl — it's an omen that more unexpected things are in store. With new records set and trash talk backfiring, this was definitely an evening of surprises.

  • From Everyone Here, to Barely a Soul Left (Apr 12th, 2016) -

  • A Royal Mess (Apr 5th, 2016) - You can always tell when the Royals are playing -- every team that has people related to Freda on it has absent bowlers. Bowling went quickly for most, though we can't report on everything until Fallop Ian post-bowls.

  • Fear The Cheese (Mar 29th, 2016) - Why, oh why, do people continue to deny the power of The Cheese Stick Curse? Time and time again, the power of the molten mozzarella has been proven!

  • WOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooo!!!!!!! (Mar 22nd, 2016) - Bookended by a lack of movement, the 6 teams not at the extremes all saw shuffling in the standings in this week's position round. Though it's doubful anyone noticed over all the celebratory hollering down on lane 48.

  • Is the Championship In the Cards? (Mar 15th, 2016) - With the midseason position round coming up next week already, one team already seems destined for the championship. Fallop Ian began the season in first place and, despite a few challengers, has yet to relinquish that spot. Will the position round bring about an end to their streak? We'll find out next week.

  • The 11th Frame -- Week 6, Spring 2016 (Mar 11th, 2016) -

  • Slow and Steady Wins the Race (Mar 1st, 2016) - Many in our league did not stick around to witness the end of bowling tonight. Nay, not even their children, nor their children's children, would serve as witnesses. But one day, far in the future, the final bowling matchup of the night will come to an end. Will we still be human then, or will we have evolved into a new, more enlightened species?

  • Fallop Ian Squeezes Through a Small Lead (Feb 23rd, 2016) - Half of tonight's matchups saw underdogs come out on top, while the other half saw bullies beat up on their prey. Which way did each matchup go? Read on to find out.

  • The 11th Frame -- Week 3, Spring 2016 (Feb 19th, 2016) - This week we look at the accomplishments of a couple of bowlers and make some Tournament of Champions predictions.

  • Theory of Relativity Proven (Feb 16th, 2016) - Just days after the announcement that gravity waves were detected, another portion of Einstein's Theory of Relativity was proven tonight when the matchup that involved Holy Sandbaggers, Batman! finished in less time than any other matchup! Granted, they shed half of their mass in order do do it, but it's all part of the famous equation.

  • Fall 2015 is in The Books! (Dec 15th, 2015) - With 32 seasons of bowling now behind us, the Fall 2015 season ended tonight as the 4th best season in league history. Both in terms of combined league average and in terms of the number (206) of 200+ games rolled. Congratulations, everyone, on a great season!

  • Taffy Sticks It! (Dec 1st, 2015) - Salt Water Taffy earned a rare Week 14 championship clinching! Congratulations to Jonathan, Ian, Seth, and Carl on their victory this season!

  • Seans of the Deadly (Nov 4th, 2015) - With most of the league coming off their Royal high and returning to bowling, the Seans came out fighting and Salt Water Taffy continues their lead but gave a very slight hint of vulnerability. Or is that just called lulling the rest of the league into false hope?

  • A Royally Quick Night (Oct 27th, 2015) - One team pre-bowled, one team is post-bowling, and one team was only halfway here. A quick night of bowling got everyone away from the bowling alley's fuzzy TV's in time to watch the Royals win / lose / win / lose / win / screw it I'm going to bed.

  • Trap No Longer Trapped (Sep 29th, 2015) - A new last place team is crowned, another team loses a game to no one, Dennis Blake continues to run away with the Tournament of Champions lead, and we do not bowl next week.

  • Hawking Gets Taffy Pulled (Sep 22nd, 2015) -

Sean is currently featured on 5 Top 25 lists:

The good...
The not so good...
The just for fun...


In addition, teams of which Sean was a member are featured on 1 Top 25 list:


The good...


Sean's Career Averages By Season (Minimum 12 games required):


Sean's Career Averages (All):


Sean's Lifetime Score Frequency:


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