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Bowling Is Dumb: A Memoir by AJ

Posted by AJ Hofmann September 3, 2019 Fall 2019, Week 3 View Score Sheets

Intro: Normally, when Scott Murdock isn't sick and decides to use company time to do the write up, you'd get this on Wednesday. But since half the matchups are pending post-bowling scores and all awards are tentative, I (AJ), wanted to give you an early summary.

Chapter 1: *Well that was a horrible throw, definitely the lane conditions and I should kick the wall* "Oww! That hurt..." - AJ Hofmann

Chapter 2: "Shit, a post-bowling opponent?! Ok, we'll bowl *redacted* in games *redacted* and *redacted* in game *redacted*. Worse case scenario we go *redacted*."- Ian Goetz.

Chapter 3: "We can't win when Scott Murdock bowls multiple 200 games. We can't win without him." - Scott's Teammates.

Chapter 4: "I was thinking... we should all bowl *redacted* and let the bowling gods decide the outcome. Oh and let's change our name in the computers again!" - Ben Spencer (I like math)

In Closing: We don't have to hump Scoot tonight and can join The 200 Club include: Ben Spencer (200), Carl Goetz (217,230), Cory Chorpenning (224), Dennis Walling (204), Freda Schroeder (212), Ian Goetz (212,206), Jeremy Cline (230,242), Ken M. Wilson (202,254), Michael Gordon (214), and Seth Gunderson (209)

The 212 rolled by Freda Schroeder is this season's new high game among women.

The Tournament of Champions begins next week. Here are the final division assignments for this season:

DIVISION 1
1. Carl Goetz
2. Ken Wilson
3. Cory Chorpenning
4. Jeremy Cline
5. Ian Goetz
6. Matthew Taylor
7. Aaron Barber
8. Michael Gordon
DIVISION 2
1. Dennis Walling
2. Seth Gunderson
3. Ben Spencer
4. Scott Murdock
5. Nick Kinney
6. Jonathan Vigliaturo
7. Rob Kaszuba
8. AJ Hofmann
DIVISION 3
1. Freda Schroeder
2. Conor Clarke
3. Curtis Whiles
4. Joe Meyer
5. Jeremy Varnell
6. James Tott
7. Luke Melton
8. JoAnne Barber
DIVISION 4
1. Alison Radke
2. Michael Whiles
3. Brian Bockelman
4. Jared Nuhn
5. Tony Marin
6. Dennis Cummings
7. Ben Conaghan

Prologue: NEXT WEEK: Blah, blah, blah. If you've read this far and are concerned about next week's matchups, check back once the post-bowling team's scores are in... or more likely, just show up next week and see what lanes, opponent, and handicap you have.

THIS WEEK'S MVB


Jeremy Cline
Runner Up:
(See Posting)

  #1 POWER BOWLER


Jeremy Cline
Runner Up:
Nick Kinney

  #1 H2H BOWLER


Seth Gunderson
Runner Up:
Ken M. Wilson

  FROM THE GUTTER (GUTTER QUOTE)
"You know, you can absolutely file a transgression for all the horrible things, real or imagined, that happened tonight due to Scoot's complete failure to maintain any sort of standards in this league."

Aaron informing every team of their definitely-not-legal, not-even-binding, rights to being in the GutterAlley league.

EXPANDED STANDINGS
Pos. Team name Record Percent Total Pins Change
1 C.I.C.K. Ass 2 9-3 .750 7,196 +1
2 Pin Is King 2 9-3 .750 6,398 -1
3 See you next Tuesday! 9-3 .750 6,145 n/a
4 BDE 6-6 .500 5,468 n/a
5 The James Tott Center for Kids Who Can't Bowl Good... 5-7 .417 4,948 n/a
6 Scared Splitless 4-8 .333 4,592 +2
7 Rear Admirals 3-9 .250 4,909 -1
8 Bowl Movements 2-10 .167 3,037 -1

Top Individual Achievements for Week 3
Men's High Series Scratch Women's High Series Scratch
Jeremy Cline - 640
Ken Wilson - 633
Carl Goetz - 621
Cory Chorpenning - 581
Ian Goetz - 579
Freda Schroeder - 464
JoAnne Barber - 357
Alison Radke - 344
Men's High Series Handicap Women's High Series Handicap
Jeremy Cline - 676
Nick Kinney - 648
Seth Gunderson - 647
Ken Wilson - 633
Carl Goetz - 621
Freda Schroeder - 588
JoAnne Barber - 537
Alison Radke - 504
Men's High Game Scratch Women's High Game Scratch
Ken Wilson - 254
Jeremy Cline - 242
Carl Goetz - 230
Cory Chorpenning - 224
Michael Gordon - 214
Freda Schroeder - 212
JoAnne Barber - 129
Alison Radke - 119
Men's High Game Handicap Women's High Game Handicap
Ken Wilson - 254
Jeremy Cline - 254 (t)
Luke Melton - 238
Seth Gunderson - 237
Jeremy Varnell - 235
Michael Gordon - 234
Freda Schroeder - 253
JoAnne Barber - 189
Alison Radke - 172
Men's Pins Over Average Women's Pins Over Average
Jeremy Cline - 57
Luke Melton - 54
Ken Wilson - 54 (t)
Jeremy Varnell - 48
Seth Gunderson - 45
Michael Gordon - 40
Freda Schroeder - 64
JoAnne Barber - 4


3 Responses to “Bowling Is Dumb: A Memoir by AJ”

  1. avatar Ken says:

    Any idea when the two post-bowling teams will be doin’ their thang?

  2. avatar AJ Hofmann says:

    I am not sure. Scoot passed on their post-bowling emails to me. If I get scores passed on to me before he’s back in town I’ll update them though!

  3. avatar Ken says:

    Cool deal. Thanks!

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