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Got Wood?

Posted by ScooterJ August 20, 2019 Fall 2019, Week 1 View Score Sheets

8 teams arrived to kick off our fortieth season, greeted by new flooring installed over the summer by
last season's last-place team, who are now all taking a season off to recovering from the fumes. (This season's last-place team will get to replace all the ceiling tiles.)

One bowler set a new personal best series. (Sub) Monica Hufford picked up this week's high game (189) and series (494) for the women. As for the men, Ian Goetz snagged this week's high game with a 236, and high series was earned by Ken M. Wilson with a 609. Read on for all the rest of the details!

First up, on lanes 3 & 4: In a rather lopsided matchup, the demonic C.I.C.K. Ass 2 shared a major lane malfunction with the charming BDE. With the strength of #1 Power-Ranked Ken M. Wilson and his 609 series, with props to #1 Head-to-Head bowler , CICK collected 3 wins against BDE. Concurrently, Rob Kaszuba with his 526 series showed off for BDE despite his team notching only a single win. At one point during the match we all thought another demon was being summoned from the bowels of Hell to join the CICK Ass roster, but it turned out to just be the lane 3-4 ball return catching fire for the first time in 2 years, 6 months, and 12 days. C.I.C.K. Ass 2 enters the world in 3rd place, while BDE begins in 5th.

On lanes 5 & 6: In a battle of good against evil, the foul scoundrels of See you next Tuesday! menaced Scared Splitless. Highlighting the skills of Aaron Barber with his 535 series, with kudos to Most Valuable Bowler Seth Gunderson, Next Tuesday landed a clean sweep over Splitless. Moving on to the challengers, Luke Melton with his 425 series laid down the law for Splitless despite his team getting swept. See you next Tuesday! leaves the gate in 2nd place, while Splitless commence with 8th.

On lanes 7 & 8: In a truly mismatched pairing, the rapscallions of The James Tott Center for Kids Who Can't Bowl Good and Wanna Learn To Do Other Stuff Too waged a heated competition against the evil Pin Is King 2. Although charging into the fray behind AJ Hofmann with his 464 series, James Tott School for B's got swept by the Kings. In the meantime, Matthew Taylor with his 587 series took charge of the Pinis as they swept the competition. The James Tott Center for Kids Who Can't Bowl Good and Wanna Learn To Do Other Stuff Too gets underway in 7th place, while the Gozerians get going with 1st.

Finally, down on lanes 9 & 10: Rear Admirals shared a platter of cheese sticks with Bowl Movements. Strengthened by sub Monica Hufford with her 494 series, Admirals collected 3 wins against Movements. Countering this, Joe Meyer with his shocking 467 series ruled Movements despite his team notching only a single win. Rear Admirals begins the season in 4th place, while Bowl Movements plop out in 6th.

Bowlers entering The 200 Club include: Aaron Barber (231), Carl Goetz (203,220), Cory Chorpenning (200), Ian Goetz (236), Ken M. Wilson (234), and Matthew Taylor (210)

A new personal best series was rolled tonight by Joe Meyer (467, previous best 464).

The Tournament of Champions begins in 3 weeks. Here are how the divisions are shaping up so far:

1. Ken Wilson
2. Ian Goetz
3. Cory Chorpenning
4. Carl Goetz
5. Matthew Taylor
6. Michael Gordon
7. Aaron Barber
8. Rob Kaszuba
1. Ben Spencer
2. Jeremy Cline
3. Dennis Walling
4. Seth Gunderson
5. Jonathan Vigliaturo
6. Joe Meyer
7. Nick Kinney
8. AJ Hofmann
1. Scott Murdock
2. Luke Melton
3. James Tott
4. Conor Clarke
5. Alison Radke
6. Michael Whiles
7. Dennis Cummings
8. Brian Bockelman
1. Jeremy Varnell
2. Curtis Whiles
3. JoAnne Barber
4. Tony Marin
5. Ben Conaghan

BOWLING THRU TIME (Spring 2005 Edition): Detailed online tracking launches in conjunction with the start of the Tournament of Champions in week 4. But here are last night's tentative team-level results:


  • First, on lanes 3&4, 1st-place Pin Is King 2 will battle 6th-place Bowl Movements (hcp 181). The Gozerians are expected to have their averages plummet as they lose the series but avoid getting swept; while Movements are forecast to raise their average while they enjoy their victories.
  • Moving to lanes 5&6, 7th-place The James Tott Center for Kids Who Can't Bowl Good and Wanna Learn To Do Other Stuff Too (estimated hcp 13) will chuck some balls with 4th-place Rear Admirals. James Tott School for B's might roll a little low and lose the series but avoid getting swept; while Admirals ought to raise their average while they enjoy their victories.
  • Then, over on lanes 7&8, 5th-place BDE will face 8th-place Scared Splitless (estimated hcp 76). BDE will likely have a bit of an off night and lose the series but avoid getting swept; while Splitless will probably hold steady as they enjoy their victories.
  • Finally, on lanes 9&10, 3rd-place C.I.C.K. Ass 2 will spend some quality time with 2nd-place See you next Tuesday! (hcp 108). CICK is predicted to see a pretty significant "market correction" to their averages, yet still manage to sweep the series; while Next Tuesday is anticipated to see their team average take a dive while they endure a rough night.

*(Remember, the predicted results above are based on mathematical extrapolations and can be changed by all sorts of factors. If you don't like how your team's results are predicted, you and your teammates have the power to prove the math wrong!)


Seth Gunderson
Runner Up:
(See Posting)


Ken Wilson
Runner Up:
Carl Goetz


Cory Chorpenning
Runner Up:
Matthew Taylor

"It's kind of tricky fingering someone else's ball."

Ben Conaghan, as he and Conor took turns gently cupping the same ball.

Pos. Team name Record Percent Total Pins Change
1 Pin Is King 2 4-0 1.000 2,164 n/a
2 See you next Tuesday! 4-0 1.000 1,985 n/a
3 C.I.C.K. Ass 2 3-1 .750 2,387 n/a
4 Rear Admirals 3-1 .750 1,650 n/a
5 BDE 1-3 .250 1,795 n/a
6 Bowl Movements 1-3 .250 1,482 n/a
7 The James Tott Center for Kids Who Can't Bowl Good... 0-4 .000 1,558 n/a
8 Scared Splitless 0-4 .000 1,475 n/a

Top Individual Achievements for Week 1
Men's High Series Scratch Women's High Series Scratch
Ken Wilson - 609
Cory Chorpenning - 594
Ian Goetz - 594 (t)
Carl Goetz - 590
Matthew Taylor - 587
Michael Gordon - 552
Monica Hufford - 494
Alison Radke - 399
JoAnne Barber - 325
Emily Nicolet - 321
Men's High Series Handicap Women's High Series Handicap
Ken Wilson - 609
Carl Goetz - 599
Matthew Taylor - 599 (t)
Cory Chorpenning - 598
Ian Goetz - 598 (t)
Michael Gordon - 590
Monica Hufford - 580
Alison Radke - 559
JoAnne Barber - 545
Emily Nicolet - 544
Men's High Game Scratch Women's High Game Scratch
Ian Goetz - 236
Ken Wilson - 234
Aaron Barber - 231
Carl Goetz - 220
Matthew Taylor - 210
Monica Hufford - 189
Alison Radke - 143
Emily Nicolet - 135
JoAnne Barber - 115
Men's High Game Handicap Women's High Game Handicap
Aaron Barber - 248
Ian Goetz - 237
Ken Wilson - 234
James Tott - 223
Carl Goetz - 223 (t)
Monica Hufford - 217
Emily Nicolet - 209
Alison Radke - 196
JoAnne Barber - 188
Men's Pins Over Average Women's Pins Over Average
Aaron Barber - 53
Ian Goetz - 38
James Tott - 36
Luke Melton - 32
Ken Wilson - 31
Emily Nicolet - 28
Monica Hufford - 25
Alison Radke - 10
JoAnne Barber - 7

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Caught checking out Carpio.

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