By now every team has bowled each other once, so next week is the Spring 2008 position round. But enough about next week, you came here to read about this week. The ninth week saw two teams climb in the standings, while two teams slipped. One bowler roll a new personal best game. Freda Schroeder picked up this week's high game (165) and series (471) for the women. As for the men, Don Glasscock snagged this week's high game with a 266, and high series was earned by Cory Chorpenning with a 629. Read on for all the rest of the details!
First up, on lanes 19 & 20: Bad Newz Kennels alternated splits with ?. With the strength of Dennis Laube with his above-average 545 series, the Kennels collected 3 wins against ?. On the other half of the score sheet, John Coleman mastered ? with his below-average 490 despite his team notching only a single win. Bad Newz Kennels remains in 1st place, while ? moves 1 spot to 6th.
On lanes 21 & 22: Sofa King Good faced off against It's Britney, Bitch. Although blessed by Don Glasscock with his 628 series, Sofa King accomplished only 1 win against Britney. Conversely, Sabrina Gray took the lead in Britney with her 358 as her team took the series with 3 wins. Sofa King Good drops 1 spot in the standings to 5th place, while Britney remains in 9th.
On lanes 23 & 24: Dr. Strangelanes, Or How I Learned To Stop Opening And Earn The Belt kept grabbing the balls of Dios Mios. Though reinforced by Nik Domann with his above-average 502 series, Dr. Strangelanes got swept by Dios Mios. Countering this, Bill Krejci dominated Dios Mios with his 546 (benefitted greatly by real star — trifecta-winner #1 Power-Ranked, #1 Head-to-Head, and Most Valuable Bowler Kris Hiestand) as they swept the competition. Dr. Strangelanes, Or How I Learned To Stop Opening And Earn The Belt plummets 2 spots in the standings to 7th place, while Dios Mios jump 2 spots to 4th.
On lanes 25 & 26: Ebowla alternated between bowling and dry humping Split Happens. Though featuring Brian Henderson, Travis Kleiner with their 402 series, Ebowla accomplished only 1 win against Split Happens. . With Split Happens forfeiting, all Ebowla needed to do was roll within 40 pins of their combined team average each game. However, that would not be the case. Ebowla remains in 8th place, while Split Happens remain in 10th.
Finally, down on lanes 27 & 28: You Don't Know Sh!t entered a showdown to the death with 3 Dudes and a Doll. Demonstrating the prowess of Cory Chorpenning with his 629 series, Don't Know Sh!t collected 3 wins against 3 Dudes and a Doll. Concurrently, Chris Rigdon showed off in 3 Dudes and a Doll with his staggering 587 despite his team notching only a single win. You Don't Know Sh!t remains in 3rd place, while 3 Dudes and a Doll remains in 2nd.
Bowlers who lied to their significant other claiming bowling was running long then went out for after-bowling drinks at The 200 Club include: Bill Krejci (207), Chris Rigdon (253), Cory Chorpenning (215,238), Dennis Laube (211), Don Glasscock (214,266), Duncan Ferber (201,226), Kris Hiestand (227), and Ryan Doll (214)

The 266 rolled by Don Glasscock is tied for the 8th-best game in league history!
In this week's Tournament of Champions brackets: Kendall Kukowski staked a claim for the Iron Throne in Division 1, while Dennis Laube routed Division 2. Nobody claimed victory in Division 3 (though Chris Lewis came closest), and Sabrina Gray creamed Division 4. Finally, Kris Hiestand (Division 3) conquered this week's Interdivisional bracket. In terms of overall points: Kendall Kukowski dominates Division 1; Dennis Laube governs Division 2; Kris Hiestand is in the driver's seat in Division 3; and Aubrey Moren tops Division 4.
NEXT WEEK:
- First, on lanes 19&20, 1st-place Bad Newz Kennels will socialize with 2nd-place 3 Dudes and a Doll. The Kennels are expected to perform weakly, but split the series with 3 Dudes and a Doll; while 3 Dudes and a Doll is forecast to see their team average take a dive while they keep the series tied.
- Moving to lanes 21&22, 3rd-place You Don't Know Sh!t will test their mettle against 4th-place Dios Mios (hcp 132). Don't Know Sh!t might roll a little low and lose the series but avoid getting swept; while Dios Mios ought to hold steady as they enjoy their victories.
- Then, over on lanes 23&24, 5th-place Sofa King Good will battle 6th-place ?. Sofa King will likely have their averages plummet, but split the series with ?; while ? will probably see their team average take a dive while they keep the series tied.
- Next up, on lanes 25&26, 7th-place Dr. Strangelanes, Or How I Learned To Stop Opening And Earn The Belt will meet with 8th-place Ebowla. Dr. Strangelanes might have the bottom drop out of their averages, but split the series with Ebowla; while Ebowla ought to see their team average take a dive while they keep the series tied.
- Finally, on lanes 27&28, 9th-place It's Britney, Bitch will chuck some balls with 10th-place Split Happens. Britney is predicted to watch their averages take a plunge, but split the series with Split Happens; while Split Happens are anticipated to see their team average take a dive while they keep the series tied.
THIS WEEK'S MVB
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FROM THE GUTTER (GUTTER QUOTE)
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Pos. | Team name | Record | Percent | Total Pins | Change |
1 | Bad Newz Kennels | 25-11 | .694 | 17,401 | n/a |
2 | 3 Dudes and a Doll | 22-14 | .611 | 16,599 | n/a |
3 | You Don't Know Sh!t | 21-15 | .583 | 19,948 | n/a |
4 | Dios Mios | 20-16 | .556 | 15,463 | +2 |
5 | Sofa King Good | 17-19 | .472 | 18,657 | -1 |
6 | ? | 17-19 | .472 | 14,626 | +1 |
7 | Dr. Strangelanes, Or How I Learned To Stop Opening... | 16-20 | .444 | 16,668 | -2 |
8 | Ebowla | 15-21 | .417 | 14,298 | n/a |
9 | It's Britney, Bitch | 14-22 | .389 | 12,734 | n/a |
10 | Split Happens | 10-26 | .278 | 12,593 | n/a |