In the eerie, dimly lit bowling alley, the tenth week of Fall 2023 unfolded like a Halloween horror story. The standings remained frozen, as if cursed by some malevolent force, refusing to budge from their haunted positions.

JoAnne Barber, a cursed mummy whose name is whispered in fearful tones, emerged from the shadows to claim the witches' high game (114) and series (331) for the week. But it was Undead Ben Spencer, a mysterious figure with a sinister aura, who clawed his way to the warlocks' high game (205) and series (543), as if under a dark spell. Their accomplishments, while impressive, were shrouded in an unsettling air.

Could you really ask for a more fitting final score on a Halloween night in a church basement?

On lanes 1 & 2, the night took a sinister turn as the enigmatic √-666 clashed with the terrifying Barber Horror Picture Show It was a showdown to the death, where Imaginary Mark of the Beast, represented by the cryptic prodigy of Jigsaw AJ Hofmann and his 459 series, managed to eke out only one win against Barber Horror. The malevolent (though partially-digested) Nick Kinney, with his 536 series, led Barber Horror to a triumphant three-win victory. The cursed √-666 clung to 3rd place, while the Picture Show reigned supreme, staying securely in 1st.

Moving on to lanes 3 & 4, the sinister Gory Bowl encountered the malevolent Cadaverdash. Reanimated Kent Harms, with his cursed 420 series, failed to save the Gore-Holes from their fate, even with the help of the demonically-possessed Most Valuable Bowler Brian Schaben. They unleashed their evil might and claimed three wins against the unfortunate Cadavers. In this macabre showdown, the #1 Power Ranked and #1 Head-to-Head Ben Frankenpencer, with his 543 series, cast a shadow over the Cadavers, but they could only secure a single win. Gory Bowl remained in the ominous fifth place, while Cadverdash clung to their second-place ranking, their (evil) spirits broken.

Down on lanes 5 & 6, a chilling showdown unfolded between the cursed DB Sawz Off a Hand and the malevolent Satanic Dolphins. The evil clone of Chris Lenz, with his above-average 420 series, tried to lift the cursed Sawed-off Hands, but they were mercilessly swept away by the relentless Dolphins. The skeleton of Ryan Sisco, with his better-than-normal 457 series, emboldened the Satanic Dolphins, leaving their challengers in a state of eerie silence. DB Sawz Off a Hand remained in 6th place, while the Satanic Dolphins lurked ominously in 4th, their presence casting a sinister shadow over the league.

As the bowlers left the haunted lanes that fateful night, they couldn't shake the feeling that something otherworldly had influenced the outcome, and the spirit of Halloween seemed to linger long after the final pins had fallen.

The one lone bowler who is now entombed for all eternity in The 200 Crypt is: Ben Spencer (205)

In this week's Tournament of Champions brackets: Nick Kinney creamed Division 1, while nobody claimed victory in Division 2 (though Ryan Sisco came closest). Nobody claimed victory in Division 3 (though Scott Murdock came closest), and Jim Koger rolled his ass to the top of Division 4. In terms of overall points: Aaron Barber reigns over Division 1; Ben Spencer leads Division 2; Nicholas Knight dominates Division 3; and Brian Schaben is in the driver's seat in Division 4.

NEXT WEEK:

• First, on lanes 1&2, 6th-place DB Sawz Off a Hand (hcp 24) will challenge 5th-place Gory Bowl. DB Handlers are expected to roll a little low and get swept; while the G-Holers are forecast to raise their average while they rack up a sweep.
• Moving to lanes 3&4, 4th-place Satanic Dolphins (hcp 125) will roll against 1st-place Barber Horror Picture Show. Dolphins might maintain their current strength as they get swept; while The Vigs Tour crew ought to hold steady as they rack up a sweep.
• Finally, on lanes 5&6, 3rd-place √-666 (hcp 108) will face 2nd-place Cadaverdash. Imaginary Number is predicted to have a bit of an off night and get swept; while Bald Boys are anticipated to hold steady as they rack up a sweep.

^*(Remember, the predicted results above are based on mathematical extrapolations and can be changed by all sorts of factors. If you don't like how your team's results are predicted, you and your teammates have the power to prove the math wrong!)

THIS WEEK'S MVB Brian Schaben Runner Up: (See Posting)	#1 POWER BOWLER Ben Spencer Runner Up: Ryan Sisco	#1 H2H BOWLER Ben Spencer Runner Up: Nick Kinney
FROM THE GUTTER (GUTTER QUOTE) "Then this doesn't count as molesting you since you made the first move by calling me a Sweet Transvestite on the scoresheet." Dr. Varnell-N-Furter (a scientist), on the randomized Halloweenization of his name.