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Night of the Living Balls

Posted by BowlingBot October 31, 2023 Fall 2023, Week 10 View Score Sheets

In the eerie, dimly lit bowling alley, the tenth week of Fall 2023 unfolded like a Halloween horror story. The standings remained frozen, as if cursed by some malevolent force, refusing to budge from their haunted positions.

JoAnne Barber, a cursed mummy whose name is whispered in fearful tones, emerged from the shadows to claim the witches' high game (114) and series (331) for the week. But it was Undead Ben Spencer, a mysterious figure with a sinister aura, who clawed his way to the warlocks' high game (205) and series (543), as if under a dark spell. Their accomplishments, while impressive, were shrouded in an unsettling air.

Could you really ask for a more fitting final score on a Halloween night in a church basement?

On lanes 1 & 2, the night took a sinister turn as the enigmatic √-666 clashed with the terrifying Barber Horror Picture Show It was a showdown to the death, where Imaginary Mark of the Beast, represented by the cryptic prodigy of Jigsaw AJ Hofmann and his 459 series, managed to eke out only one win against Barber Horror. The malevolent (though partially-digested) Nick Kinney, with his 536 series, led Barber Horror to a triumphant three-win victory. The cursed √-666 clung to 3rd place, while the Picture Show reigned supreme, staying securely in 1st.

Moving on to lanes 3 & 4, the sinister Gory Bowl encountered the malevolent Cadaverdash. Reanimated Kent Harms, with his cursed 420 series, failed to save the Gore-Holes from their fate, even with the help of the demonically-possessed Most Valuable Bowler Brian Schaben. They unleashed their evil might and claimed three wins against the unfortunate Cadavers. In this macabre showdown, the #1 Power Ranked and #1 Head-to-Head Ben Frankenpencer, with his 543 series, cast a shadow over the Cadavers, but they could only secure a single win. Gory Bowl remained in the ominous fifth place, while Cadverdash clung to their second-place ranking, their (evil) spirits broken.

Down on lanes 5 & 6, a chilling showdown unfolded between the cursed DB Sawz Off a Hand and the malevolent Satanic Dolphins. The evil clone of Chris Lenz, with his above-average 420 series, tried to lift the cursed Sawed-off Hands, but they were mercilessly swept away by the relentless Dolphins. The skeleton of Ryan Sisco, with his better-than-normal 457 series, emboldened the Satanic Dolphins, leaving their challengers in a state of eerie silence. DB Sawz Off a Hand remained in 6th place, while the Satanic Dolphins lurked ominously in 4th, their presence casting a sinister shadow over the league.

As the bowlers left the haunted lanes that fateful night, they couldn't shake the feeling that something otherworldly had influenced the outcome, and the spirit of Halloween seemed to linger long after the final pins had fallen.

The one lone bowler who is now entombed for all eternity in The 200 Crypt is: Ben Spencer (205)

In this week's Tournament of Champions brackets: Nick Kinney conquered Division 1, while nobody claimed victory in Division 2 (though Ryan Sisco came closest). Nobody claimed victory in Division 3 (though Scott Murdock came closest), and Jim Koger had his way with Division 4. In terms of overall points: Aaron Barber holds the reins in Division 1; Ben Spencer reigns over Division 2; Nicholas Knight dominates Division 3; and Brian Schaben is in the driver's seat in Division 4.

NEXT WEEK:

  • First, on lanes 1&2, 6th-place DB Sawz Off a Hand (hcp 24) will challenge 5th-place Gory Bowl. DB Handlers are expected to roll a little low and get swept; while the G-Holers are forecast to raise their average while they rack up a sweep.
  • Moving to lanes 3&4, 4th-place Satanic Dolphins (hcp 125) will roll against 1st-place Barber Horror Picture Show. Dolphins might maintain their current strength as they get swept; while The Vigs Tour crew ought to hold steady as they rack up a sweep.
  • Finally, on lanes 5&6, 3rd-place √-666 (hcp 108) will face 2nd-place Cadaverdash. Imaginary Number is predicted to have a bit of an off night and get swept; while Bald Boys are anticipated to hold steady as they rack up a sweep.

*(Remember, the predicted results above are based on mathematical extrapolations and can be changed by all sorts of factors. If you don't like how your team's results are predicted, you and your teammates have the power to prove the math wrong!)

THIS WEEK'S MVB


Brian Schaben
Runner Up:
(See Posting)

  #1 POWER BOWLER


Ben Spencer
Runner Up:
Ryan Sisco

  #1 H2H BOWLER


Ben Spencer
Runner Up:
Nick Kinney

  FROM THE GUTTER (GUTTER QUOTE)
"Then this doesn't count as molesting you since you made the first move by calling me a Sweet Transvestite on the scoresheet."

Dr. Varnell-N-Furter (a scientist), on the randomized Halloweenization of his name.

EXPANDED STANDINGS
Pos. Team name Record Percent Total Pins Change
1 Vigs Eras Tour 2023 27-13 .675 19,726 n/a
2 Balderdash 23-17 .575 20,299 n/a
3 √-1 20.5-19.5 .513 17,705 n/a
4 Sun Dolphins 19-21 .475 16,005 n/a
5 Glory Bowl 17-23 .425 16,296 n/a
6 DB Lenz a Hand 13.5-26.5 .338 16,146 n/a

Top Individual Achievements for Week 10
Men's High Series Scratch Women's High Series Scratch
Ben Spencer - 543
Nick Kinney - 536
Aaron Barber - 507
Chris Windham - 468
Dennis Walling - 462
JoAnne Barber - 331
Men's High Series Handicap Women's High Series Handicap
Ben Spencer - 627
Jim Koger - 601
Chris Windham - 597
Ray Scott - 597 (t)
Scott Murdock - 596
Ryan Sisco - 596 (t)
Nick Kinney - 596 (t)
JoAnne Barber - 515
Men's High Game Scratch Women's High Game Scratch
Ben Spencer - 205
Nick Kinney - 194
Aaron Barber - 192
Chris Windham - 182
Dennis Walling - 173
JoAnne Barber - 114
Men's High Game Handicap Women's High Game Handicap
Carl Mueller - 241
Ben Spencer - 233
Chris Windham - 225
Ray Scott - 222
Ryan Sisco - 216
JoAnne Barber - 175
Men's Pins Over Average Women's Pins Over Average
Carl Mueller - 59
Ben Spencer - 40
Chris Windham - 36
Ray Scott - 36 (t)
Jim Koger - 32
Ryan Sisco - 28


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Boren, Ken, and Codding. Pure evil.

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