Valentine's Day 2023 saw an extremely frustrated Scoot punch his computer (gently though, it was expensive) then later saw one team climb in the standings, while one team slipped. In a shocking development, JoAnne Barber picked up this week's high game (134) and series (372) for the woman, while Nick Kinney earned this week's high game (225) and series (638) for the men. Meanwhile, the Tournament of Champions also kicked off tonight, beginning of 13 weeks of one-on-one bowling excitement! Read on for all the rest of the details!

First up, on lanes 1 & 2, also referred to as Lovers Lane: Sun Dolphins had a romantic candlelight dinner with I Thought This Was AA?. Gazing longingly at his fellow dolphins, Clayton Burrow's blowhole heaved passionately as he rolled an above-average 386 series. However, AJ Hofmann with his better-than-normal 492 series stirred the inner desires of the Bowlaholics as they swept the Dolphins back out to sea. Sun Dolphins remains in 6th place, while the bowlaholics remain in 5th.

On lanes 3 & 4: Let's Split Up Gang! made awkward but sweet attempts to woo Just Shitty Enough. Though fresh off being voted GutterAlley's Most Eligible Bachelor for the third year running, James Tott's 481 series only led the splitter-uppers to 1 win against Just Shitty. As for the opposition, #1 Head-to-Head Nick Kinney and his better-than-normal 638 series brought 3 wins to Just Shitty as well as caused him to have to fend off the advances of throngs of Strawberry Hill's loveliest ladies as soon as he stepped outside at the end of the night. Let's Split Up Gang! remains in 4th place, while Just Shitty remains in 1st.

Finally, down on lanes 5 & 6: Balderdash spent their Valentine's Day on the wrong side of a Glory Bowl. Though #1 Power-Ranked Matthew Taylor thrusted an above-average 620 series at the Glory Bowl, the Bald Boys got swept by the G-Holers. Conversely, Brett Affolter with his slightly-off 452 series helped the G-Holers make quick work of everything that came their way (with kudos to Most Valuable Bowler Brian Schaben) as they swept the competition. Balderdash drops 1 spot in the standings to 3rd place, while the G-Holers move up 1 spot to 2nd.

Bowlers who let just enough nip slip to get let into The 200 Club include: Matthew Taylor (204,203,213) and Nick Kinney (225,224)

In this week's Tournament of Champions brackets: Matthew Taylor triumphed over his enemies in Division 1, while nobody claimed victory in Division 2, and in fact we aren't even going to talk about Division 2 as it was a complete embarassment. Nathan Burrows eradicated Division 3, and Jim Koger vanquished Division 4. In terms of overall points: Matthew Taylor dominates Division 1; Seth Gunderson reigns over Division 2; Nathan Burrows governs Division 3; and Jim Koger leads Division 4.

NEXT WEEK:

• First, on lanes 1&2, 1st-place Just Shitty Enough will match wits with 2nd-place Glory Bowl (hcp 121). Just Shitty is expected to maintain their current strength as they sweep the series; while the G-Holers are forecast to drop their average a bit while they endure a rough night.
• Moving to lanes 3&4, 5th-place I Thought This Was AA? (hcp 102) will test their mettle against 3rd-place Balderdash. The bowlaholics might perform well, yet still manage to get swept; while Bald Boys ought to raise their average while they rack up a sweep.
• Finally, on lanes 5&6, 4th-place Let's Split Up Gang! will tussle with 6th-place Sun Dolphins (hcp 94). The splitter-uppers are predicted to have a bit of an off night, yet still manage to win the series; while Dolphins are anticipated to drop their average a bit while they avoid getting swept.

^*(Remember, the predicted results above are based on mathematical extrapolations and can be changed by all sorts of factors. If you don't like how your team's results are predicted, you and your teammates have the power to prove the math wrong!)

THIS WEEK'S MVB Brian Schaben Runner Up: (See Posting)	#1 POWER BOWLER Matthew Taylor Runner Up: Nick Kinney	#1 H2H BOWLER Nick Kinney Runner Up: Matthew Taylor
FROM THE GUTTER (GUTTER QUOTE) "I can't think of a better way to show good sportsmanship, though." Nathan Burrows, after the other Dolphins got jealous when one of them knocked balls with Jeremy Varnell.