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Happy Cephalopods, Sad Cetaceans

Posted by BowlingBot February 20, 2024 Spring 2024, Week 5 View Score Sheets

The fifth week of the Spring 2024 season was nothing short of a tidal wave of excitement, thrashing our two oceanic teams to opposite ends of the standings. JoAnne Barber and Matthew Taylor emerged as this week's stars, with JoAnne snagging the high game (135) and series (368) for the woman, while Matthew Taylor dominated the men's division with an impressive high game (262) and series (613). Now, let's dive into the heart-pounding action that unfolded on the lanes!

In a clash of titans on lanes 1 & 2, Schindler's Fists faced off against Squid Row with intensity that could rival any heavyweight boxing match. With cheese sticks in hand, Schindler's Fists, led by the formidable #1 Power Ranked & #1 Head-to-Head Seth Gunderson and his jaw-dropping 572 series, aimed to intimidate Squids. However, the narrowest of handicaps couldn't secure victory for Fists, as Matthew Taylor unleashed a storm with his outstanding 613 series, leading Squids to a triumphant 3-win match. The drama unfolded as Schindler's Fists took a dramatic plunge, sliding down 2 spots to 3rd place, while Squids claimed the top spot, rising to 1st.

In a bowling clash on lanes 3 & 4, the Sun Dolphins tried to outswim the Grumpy Old Men but instead ended up being feasted upon by them. Despite the valiant efforts of Clayton Burrow and his 362 series, the Dolphins found themselves tangled in a net in deep waters, suffering a sweeping defeat at the hands of the seasoned Grumps. AJ Hofmann, armed with a slightly-off 502 series, orchestrated the Grumps' triumphant sweep, leaving the Sun Dolphins to suffer with clogged blowholes before slicing them up for his grill. The Dolphins, crestfallen, dropped a spot in the standings to 6th place, while the Grumpy Old Men rode the wave of victory, ascending one spot to a surprising 2nd place.

On lanes 5 & 6, drama unfolded as Glory Bowl and DB Lenz a Hand faced off, each team exuding an air of determined intensity. It was a showdown of equal strengths, where Glory Bowl, fueled by Kent Harms and his impressive 493 series, attempted to strike fear into the hearts of the formidable Lenz Handlers. Despite delivering menacing stares, Glory only managed to secure 1 win against their opponents. However, the narrative took a thrilling turn as the enigmatic Most Valuable Bowler Doug Lenz unleashed a better-than-normal 465 series, transforming Lenz Handlers into an almost unstoppable force that inspired awe and admiration. With a triumphant 3 wins, Lenz Handlers surged ahead, claiming victory and ascending one spot in the standings to 5th place. Glory Bowl, though valiant, held their ground in 4th place.

Bowlers who crashed the party at The 200 Club include: AJ Hofmann (207), Kent Harms (211), Matthew Taylor (262), and Seth Gunderson (201)

Matthew Taylor nabbed both high game and series for the men this season with his 262 and 613, respectively.

In this week's Tournament of Champions brackets: Matthew Taylor routed Division 1, while Seth Gunderson decimated Division 2. Doug Lenz spanked Division 3, and Jim Koger shut down Division 4. In terms of overall points: Matthew Taylor calls the shots Division 1; Seth Gunderson and Nathan Burrows govern Division 2 in a tie; Doug Lenz and Buck Nasty lead Division 3 in a tie; and Ryan Sisco reigns over Division 4.


  • First, on lanes 1&2, 2nd-place Grumpy Old Men will chuck some balls with 5th-place DB Lenz a Hand (hcp 59). Grumps are expected to roll a little low, but split the series with Lenz Handlers; while Lenz Handlers are forecast to hold steady as they keep the series tied.
  • Moving to lanes 3&4, 4th-place Glory Bowl (estimated hcp 59) will throw some gutter balls with 1st-place Squid Row. Glory might maintain their current strength as they lose the series but avoid getting swept; while Squids ought to hold steady as they enjoy their victories.
  • Finally, on lanes 5&6, 3rd-place Schindler's Fists will socialize with 6th-place Sun Dolphins (hcp 116). Fists are predicted to have a bit of an off night, yet still manage to win the series; while Dolphins are anticipated to hold steady as they avoid getting swept.

*(Remember, the predicted results above are based on mathematical extrapolations and can be changed by all sorts of factors. If you don't like how your team's results are predicted, you and your teammates have the power to prove the math wrong!)


Doug Lenz
Runner Up:
(See Posting)


Seth Gunderson
Runner Up:
Matthew Taylor


Seth Gunderson
Runner Up:
Matthew Taylor

"Doing my job well depends on other people doing their jobs well, and now one of those people is walking around with a head injury."

Ben Spencer, noticing the bandaid on Scoot's forehead, after a metal pipe fell on his head earlier in the day.

Pos. Team name Record Percent Total Pins Change
1 Squid Row 13-7 .650 9,093 +1
2 Grumpy Old Men 12-8 .600 9,066 +1
3 Schindler's Fists 11-9 .550 9,815 -2
4 It Starts Now! 9-11 .450 8,498 n/a
5 DB Lenz a Hand 8-12 .400 7,981 +1
6 Sun Dolphins 7-13 .350 7,560 -1

Top Individual Achievements for Week 5
Men's High Series Scratch Women's High Series Scratch
Matthew Taylor - 613
Seth Gunderson - 572
AJ Hofmann - 502
Aaron Barber - 499
Kent Harms - 493
JoAnne Barber - 368
Men's High Series Handicap Women's High Series Handicap
Seth Gunderson - 677
Matthew Taylor - 670
Doug Lenz - 613
Jim Koger - 613 (t)
Chris Windham - 606
JoAnne Barber - 526
Men's High Game Scratch Women's High Game Scratch
Matthew Taylor - 262
Kent Harms - 211
AJ Hofmann - 207
Seth Gunderson - 201
Chris Windham - 188
JoAnne Barber - 135
Men's High Game Handicap Women's High Game Handicap
Matthew Taylor - 281
Chris Windham - 237
Seth Gunderson - 236
Kent Harms - 234
Jim Koger - 231
JoAnne Barber - 187
Men's Pins Over Average Women's Pins Over Average
Matthew Taylor - 86
Chris Windham - 50
Jim Koger - 50 (t)
Seth Gunderson - 45
Doug Lenz - 40
Kent Harms - 40 (t)
Clayton Burrow - 28
JoAnne Barber - 1

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The following bowlers had wanted to bowl in the Fall 2023 season but there wasn't room, so please consider them first when a sub is needed.