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Pre-Valentine Love on the Lanes

Posted by BowlingBot February 13, 2024 Spring 2024, Week 4 View Score Sheets

Love was in the air on the fourth week of Spring 2024, infusing the Gutter Alley Bowling League with a touch of Valentine's Day magic. As the teams danced between strikes and spares, a symphony of romance unfolded amidst the thunderous echoes of bowling balls meeting their pins.

In the realm of high scores and sweet victories, JoAnne Barber stole the hearts of the bowling alley with her cupid-approved high game (132) and series (377) for the women. On the men's side, the charismatic duo of Kent Harms and Nick Kinney shared a love-struck tie for this week's high game with a swoon-worthy 212. However, it was Nick Kinney who emerged as the true bowling heartthrob, earning the high series title with an impressive 602.

The Tournament of Champions also kicked off tonight, setting the stage for 13 weeks of one-on-one burning bowling passion, akin to a romantic journey through the lanes. But the real love story unfolded on the lanes themselves.

In a candlelit rendezvous on lanes 1 & 2, DB Lenz a Hand and Sun Dolphins shared a magical evening under the bowling alley lights. Despite main squeeze Jeremy Varnell's enchanting 419 series leading the Lenz Handlers, their love affair with the Dolphins resulted in only one win. The Dolphins, guided by the charismatic trifecta-winner (#1 Head-to-Head, #1 Power-Ranked, and Most Valuable Bowler) Ryan Sisco and his outstanding 518 series, swept the match with three wins. As the love-struck DB Lenz a Hand dropped one spot in the standings to 6th place, the Dolphins ascended one spot to 5th, leaving the alleys abuzz with the echoes of a bowling love story.

On lanes 3 & 4, Glory Bowl engaged in a passionate waltz with Schindler's Fists. Kent Harms, the knight in shining armor, showcased an above-average 551 series, leading Glory Bowl to a triumphant 3-win performance. Nick Kinney, the valiant heartthrob of Schindler's Fists, dazzled with a 602 series, earning his team a single win. Glory Bowl retained their 4th place, while Schindler's Fists maintained their throne at 1st, a love story written in the strikes and spares of the alleys.

In a pairing of equal strengths on lanes 5 & 6, Grumpy Old Men and Squid Row alternated between bowling and a playful dance of love. AJ Hofmann, the charismatic lead of the Grumps, orchestrated a symphony of strikes with his 575 series, claiming three wins against the Squids. On the other lane, hearthrob Matthew Taylor, with a titillating 555 series, cast a captivating spell despite Squid Row securing only a single win. The Grumpy Old Men retained their 3rd place, while the Squids clung to their 2nd place, their love story etched in the scuffs and marks on the alley floor.

As the alleys whispered tales of love and rivalry, the Gutter Alley Bowling League continued its enchanting journey through strikes, spares, and the lingering fragrance of romance that lingered in the air like the sweetest perfume.

Bowlers hoping to score with each other at The 200 Club include: Aaron Barber (201), AJ Hofmann (211,202), Kent Harms (212), Nick Kinney (212), and Ryan Sisco (209)

A new personal best series was rolled tonight by Harlequin Romance novels cover model Nathan Burrows (490, previous best 486).

Adding to the excitement, the 602 rolled by the very sexy Nick Kinney is this season's new high series for men.

And if that weren't enough, stud muffin Aaron Barber moved up to the #5 spot among bowlers who have accumulated the most 200+ games in league history!

In this week's Tournament of Champions brackets: Matthew Taylor decimated Division 1, while Nathan Burrows eradicated Division 2. Nobody claimed victory in Division 3 (though Buck Nasty came closest), and Ryan Sisco mopped up Division 4. In terms of overall points: Matthew Taylor calls the shots Division 1; Nathan Burrows governs Division 2; Buck Nasty reigns over Division 3; and Ryan Sisco dominates Division 4.

Finally, because I had to look at this when I got home, you have to look at it too:

Click to squint full-size


  • First, on lanes 1&2, 1st-place Schindler's Fists will spend some quality time with 2nd-place Squid Row (estimated hcp 10). Fists are expected to maintain their current strength as they lose the series but avoid getting swept; while Squids are forecast to raise their average while they enjoy their victories.
  • Moving to lanes 3&4, 5th-place Sun Dolphins (hcp 66) will battle 3rd-place Grumpy Old Men. Dolphins might roll a little low and lose the series but avoid getting swept; while Grumps ought to drop their average a bit even as they enjoy their victories.
  • Finally, on lanes 5&6, 4th-place Glory Bowl will match wits with 6th-place DB Lenz a Hand (hcp 28). Glory is predicted to roll decently and sweep the series; while Lenz Handlers are anticipated to hold steady as they endure a rough night.

*(Remember, the predicted results above are based on mathematical extrapolations and can be changed by all sorts of factors. If you don't like how your team's results are predicted, you and your teammates have the power to prove the math wrong!)


Ryan Sisco
Runner Up:
(See Posting)


Ryan Sisco
Runner Up:
Scott Murdock


Ryan Sisco
Runner Up:
Scott Murdock

"Hey Ron, Lanes 5 & 6 need some balls"

"YEAH they do!"

Joe, followed by the peanut gallery on lanes 3&4.

Pos. Team name Record Percent Total Pins Change
1 Schindler's Fists 10-6 .625 7,870 n/a
2 Squid Row 10-6 .625 7,173 n/a
3 Grumpy Old Men 8-8 .500 7,231 n/a
4 It Starts Now! 8-8 .500 7,009 n/a
5 Sun Dolphins 7-9 .438 6,235 +1
6 DB Lenz a Hand 5-11 .313 6,457 -1

Top Individual Achievements for Week 4
Men's High Series Scratch Women's High Series Scratch
Nick Kinney - 602
AJ Hofmann - 575
Matthew Taylor - 555
Aaron Barber - 554
Kent Harms - 551
JoAnne Barber - 377
Men's High Series Handicap Women's High Series Handicap
Ryan Sisco - 734
Kent Harms - 630
Scott Murdock - 619
Nathan Burrows - 619 (t)
Matthew Taylor - 617
JoAnne Barber - 523
Men's High Game Scratch Women's High Game Scratch
Nick Kinney - 212
Kent Harms - 212 (t)
AJ Hofmann - 211
Ryan Sisco - 209
Aaron Barber - 201
Matthew Taylor - 188
JoAnne Barber - 132
Men's High Game Handicap Women's High Game Handicap
Ryan Sisco - 281
Kent Harms - 238
AJ Hofmann - 222
Nathan Burrows - 220
Scott Murdock - 216
JoAnne Barber - 180
Men's Pins Over Average Women's Pins Over Average
Ryan Sisco - 99
Kent Harms - 45
Nathan Burrows - 31
Buck Nasty - 27
Scott Murdock - 27 (t)
AJ Hofmann - 25

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