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True or false: what is your horniest bowling night ever?

Posted by Ken October 22, 2013 Fall 2013, Week 10 View Score Sheets

Week 10 is done. Over. Kaput. Now that we’re two weeks into the second half of the season, let’s figure out this one question -- true or false: what is your horniest bowling night ever?But first, hey, Freda, Rowan & Martin’s Laugh-In called. It’s Halloween season and they want their rainbow sherbet costume back. They also said congrats on being the only team that won 4 games tonight. To which you can thank oldest horny bowler of the night -- Phil Schroeder -- and his 588 series. Even Brunker Than Defore (which has NOTHING to do with Hall of Famer Bob Brunker), was led by Eric Lynch ’s 553 series.Bill? Bill Krecji ? Are you here? Nope. He wasn’t. And Breaking Bad didn’t really show up either, as they continued their struggles by giving up 3 games to Split It and Hit It. Split It was led by this week’s #1 Power Ranked Horny Bowler, Todd Way, who bowled a 484 series (which was an impressive 39 pins over his average, per game). Ken Wilson ’s 668 series led Breaking Bad and he claims his “booty hole” is still “not feeling all okay.” Whatever.We’d like to take a second to wish a very special happy birthday to our own Dave Winger. Turning 70 is a pretty special event. Special, that is, until Mr. “Horny-All-Day-Every-Day” Chad Andrews ruins it with a super precious 12-lb ball. Chadwick, his 468 series, and Ballz Out left their namesakes all over the lanes, taking home 3 games from the birthday boy's team.Over on lanes 45 and 46, AB was makin’ those bewbies dance for most of the night. Things got kind of weird with her brother there, especially since his close friends call him Carl “Tits” Goetz, but after a few more strikes, nobody seemed to care that much. Behind Seth Gunderson ’s "MVB performance (so hot, so horny), the Bewbie Dancers managed to grope 3 games away from Bowltron. On their opposing lanes, Jon Boren was busy being boring shooting a 636. Unfortunately for Boren, the rest of his team was too preoccupied informing Ryan Doll that Flash does, indeed, suck. No, man. It sucks.Not much ground was gained on Bowltron this week. So if anyone doesn’t want them to win, you best start doing bowling games more better.Here’s the current standings in the tourneys.:Division 1: Ken is at 18, Doll at 16.Division 2: AB has 17, JV has 15.Division 3: Freda with 17, Scoot with 14.Division 4: Michael Smith 17, Cole Meyer 15Bill? Billseph Krecji? Hello?Here’s the people who bowled better than Doll tonight:- AB: 211, 210- Anita: 205- Aubrey: 203- “Tits”: 209- Dennis Blake: 224- Pops: 202- Erock Lynch: 233- Boooooooooren: 207, 201, 228- Ken: 221, 245, 202- Kody: 203, 214- Phil: 203- Seth: 209, 213- Jonathan: 205See you next Tuesday!

THIS WEEK'S MVB


Seth Gunderson
Runner Up:
(See Posting)

  #1 POWER BOWLER


Todd Way
Runner Up:
Seth Gunderson

  #1 H2H BOWLER


Seth Gunderson
Runner Up:
Todd Way

  FROM THE GUTTER (GUTTER QUOTE)
“Rawr grr ga!!!! I smell like soybeans.”

Dave Winger, on how he’s approaching 70 years old.

EXPANDED STANDINGS
Pos. Team name Record Percent Total Pins Change
1 Bowltron 30-10 .750 20,234 n/a
2 Bewbie Dance 24-16 .600 21,358 n/a
3 Will Strike if Provoked 22.5-17.5 .563 19,474 +1
4 Split It and Hit It 21-19 .525 16,485 +1
5 Breaking Bad 20-20 .500 22,351 -2
6 Gutterfingers 17.5-22.5 .438 16,482 n/a
7 Ballz Out 17-23 .425 16,604 n/a
8 Even Brunker Than Defore 8-32 .200 14,478 n/a
Top Individual Achievements for Week 10
Men's High Series Scratch Women's High Series Scratch
Ken Wilson - 668
John Boren - 636
Seth Gunderson - 620
Kody Karnes - 589
Phil Schroeder - 588
Angela Bradford - 572
Anita Osthoff - 521
Freda Schroeder - 441
Stacey Southard - 317
Men's High Series Handicap Women's High Series Handicap
Seth Gunderson - 672
Todd Way - 671
Ken Wilson - 668
Phil Schroeder - 664
Eric Lynch - 663
Angela Bradford - 648
Anita Osthoff - 609
Freda Schroeder - 580
Stacey Southard - 516
Men's High Game Scratch Women's High Game Scratch
Ken Wilson - 245
Eric Lynch - 233
John Boren - 228
Dennis Blake - 224
Kody Karnes - 214
Angela Bradford - 211
Anita Osthoff - 205
Freda Schroeder - 166
Stacey Southard - 125
Men's High Game Handicap Women's High Game Handicap
Eric Lynch - 269
Ken Wilson - 245
Dennis Blake - 244
Chadwick Andrews - 241
Dennis Laube - 238
Angela Bradford - 236
Anita Osthoff - 234
Freda Schroeder - 212
Stacey Southard - 191
Men's Pins Over Average Women's Pins Over Average
Eric Lynch - 79
Chadwick Andrews - 57
Dennis Blake - 50
Todd Way - 48
Dennis Laube - 48 (t)
Greg Middleton - 47
Angela Bradford - 43
Anita Osthoff - 42
Freda Schroeder - 24
Stacey Southard - 8


One Response to “True or false: what is your horniest bowling night ever?”

  1. avatar Boren says:

    wow! ken, scoot, you guys are never this… umm… “interesting” with your writeups!

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