The fifth week of Spring 2008 saw three teams climb in the standings, while three teams slipped. Angela Bradford landed this week's high game for the women with a 199, and women's high series was bagged by Freda Schroeder with a 534. As for the men, Cory Chorpenning snagged this week's high game with a 237, and high series was earned by Don Glasscock with a 659. Read on for all the rest of the details!

First up, on lanes 19 & 20: ? deliberately ate cheese sticks in front of Split Happens. Featuring John Coleman with his 524 series, ? celebrated a clean sweep over Split Happens. Across the ball return, Ryan Simonet took the lead in Split Happens with his above-average 466 despite his team getting swept. ? remains in 5th place, while Split Happens sink 1 spot to 10th.

On lanes 21 & 22: 3 Dudes and a Doll faced off against Sofa King Good. Reinforced by Ryan Doll with his above-average 582 series, 3 Dudes and a Doll collected 3 wins against Sofa King. As for the opposition, Don Glasscock laid down the law in Sofa King with his 659 despite his team notching only a single win. 3 Dudes and a Doll remains in 1st place, while Sofa King remains in 4th.

On lanes 23 & 24: Bad Newz Kennels kept grabbing the balls of You Don't Know Sh!t. Led by Dennis Laube with his above-average 548 series, and supported tremendously by real star — trifecta-winner #1 Power-Ranked, #1 Head-to-Head, and Most Valuable Bowler Aubrey Moren, the Kennels collected 3 wins against Don't Know Sh!t. Countering this, Cory Chorpenning shined in Don't Know Sh!t with his 643 despite his team notching only a single win. Bad Newz Kennels leap 1 spot in the standings to 2nd place, while Don't Know Sh!t sinks 1 spot to 3rd.

On lanes 25 & 26: Dios Mios shared a few beers with Ebowla. Despite the strength of Bill Krejci with his (either injured, sick, or sandbagging) 486 series, Dios Mios accomplished only 1 win against Ebowla. In the meantime, Travis Kleiner reigned supreme in Ebowla with his below-average 451 as his team took the series with 3 wins. Dios Mios leap 1 spot in the standings to 7th place, while Ebowla moves 1 spot to 9th.

Finally, down on lanes 27 & 28: It's Britney, Bitch chucked gutter balls with Dr. Strangelanes, Or How I Learned To Stop Opening And Earn The Belt. In spite of the prowess of Dave Winger with his 416 series, Britney got swept by Dr. Strangelanes. On the adjacent lane, Seth Gunderson mastered Dr. Strangelanes with his 566 as they swept the competition. It's Britney, Bitch drops 1 spot in the standings to 8th place, while Dr. Strangelanes remain in 6th.

Bowlers paying far too much for well vodka at The 200 Club include: Cory Chorpenning (237,216), David Parre (204), Dennis Laube (208,202), Don Glasscock (213,232,214), John Coleman (204), Kendall Kukowski (209), and Ryan Doll (220,206)

In this week's Tournament of Champions brackets: Kendall Kukowski trounced Division 1, while Scott Murdock clobbered Division 2. John Richardson triumphed over his enemies in Division 3, and nobody claimed victory in Division 4 (though Rob Kaszuba came closest). Finally, Aubrey Moren (Division 4) made quick work of this week's Interdivisional bracket. In terms of overall points: Kendall Kukowski runs the show in Division 1; David Parre and Scott Murdock reign over Division 2 in a tie; John Richardson leads Division 3; and Aubrey Moren governs Division 4.

NEXT WEEK:

• First, on lanes 19&20, 8th-place It's Britney, Bitch (hcp 142) will compete against 2nd-place Bad Newz Kennels. Britney is expected to maintain their current strength as they get swept; while the Kennels are forecast to hold steady as they rack up a sweep.
• Moving to lanes 21&22, 7th-place Dios Mios will throw some gutter balls with 5th-place ? (hcp 19). Dios Mios might roll a little low and get swept; while ? ought to raise their average while they rack up a sweep.
• Then, over on lanes 23&24, 10th-place Split Happens (hcp 154) will chuck some balls with 4th-place Sofa King Good. Split Happens will likely maintain their current strength as they get swept; while Sofa King will probably hold steady as they rack up a sweep.
• Next up, on lanes 25&26, 1st-place 3 Dudes and a Doll will spend some quality time with 6th-place Dr. Strangelanes, Or How I Learned To Stop Opening And Earn The Belt. 3 Dudes and a Doll might maintain their current strength as they win the series; while Dr. Strangelanes ought to drop their average a bit while they avoid getting swept.
• Finally, on lanes 27&28, 9th-place Ebowla (hcp 172) will roll against 3rd-place You Don't Know Sh!t. Ebowla is predicted to maintain their current strength as they lose the series but avoid getting swept; while Don't Know Sh!t is anticipated to drop their average a bit even as they enjoy their victories.

THIS WEEK'S MVB Aubrey Moren Runner Up: (See Posting)	#1 POWER BOWLER Aubrey Moren Runner Up: Kendall Kukowski	#1 H2H BOWLER Aubrey Moren Runner Up: Kendall Kukowski
FROM THE GUTTER (GUTTER QUOTE) "I didn't blame anyone for the loss of my legs. Some Chinaman took them from me in Korea." Cindy Palmer, always with an excuse for a crappy game.