The fifth week of Spring 2008 saw three teams climb in the standings, while three teams slipped. Angela Bradford landed this week's high game for the women with a 199, and women's high series was bagged by Freda Schroeder with a 534. As for the men, Cory Chorpenning snagged this week's high game with a 237, and high series was earned by Don Glasscock with a 659. Read on for all the rest of the details!

First up, on lanes 19 & 20: ? had a rendezvous with Split Happens. With the strength of John Coleman with his 524 series, ? celebrated a clean sweep over Split Happens. In the meantime, Ryan Simonet oversaw Split Happens with his above-average 466 despite his team getting swept. ? remains in 5th place, while Split Happens sink 1 spot to 10th.

On lanes 21 & 22: 3 Dudes and a Doll entered a showdown to the death with Sofa King Good. With top billing by Ryan Doll with his above-average 582 series, 3 Dudes and a Doll collected 3 wins against Sofa King. Countering this, Don Glasscock mastered Sofa King with his 659 despite his team notching only a single win. 3 Dudes and a Doll remains in 1st place, while Sofa King remains in 4th.

On lanes 23 & 24: Bad Newz Kennels shared a few beers with You Don't Know Sh!t. Demonstrating the prowess of Dennis Laube with his above-average 548 series, and supported tremendously by real star — trifecta-winner #1 Power-Ranked, #1 Head-to-Head, and Most Valuable Bowler Aubrey Moren, the Kennels collected 3 wins against Don't Know Sh!t. Conversely, Cory Chorpenning laid down the law in Don't Know Sh!t with his 643 despite his team notching only a single win. Bad Newz Kennels leap 1 spot in the standings to 2nd place, while Don't Know Sh!t sinks 1 spot to 3rd.

On lanes 25 & 26: Dios Mios couldn't stop undressing with their eyes the members of Ebowla. Though featuring Bill Krejci with his (either injured, sick, or sandbagging) 486 series, Dios Mios accomplished only 1 win against Ebowla. On the adjacent lane, Travis Kleiner shined in Ebowla with his below-average 451 as his team took the series with 3 wins. Dios Mios leap 1 spot in the standings to 7th place, while Ebowla moves 1 spot to 9th.

Finally, down on lanes 27 & 28: It's Britney, Bitch kept grabbing the balls of Dr. Strangelanes, Or How I Learned To Stop Opening And Earn The Belt. Although topped by Dave Winger with his 416 series, Britney got swept by Dr. Strangelanes. On the other side, Seth Gunderson guided Dr. Strangelanes with his 566 as they swept the competition. It's Britney, Bitch drops 1 spot in the standings to 8th place, while Dr. Strangelanes remain in 6th.

Bowlers slipping under the velvet rope in front of The 200 Club include: Cory Chorpenning (237,216), David Parre (204), Dennis Laube (208,202), Don Glasscock (213,232,214), John Coleman (204), Kendall Kukowski (209), and Ryan Doll (220,206)

In this week's Tournament of Champions brackets: Kendall Kukowski conquered Division 1, while Scott Murdock crushed Division 2. John Richardson trounced Division 3, and nobody claimed victory in Division 4 (though Rob Kaszuba came closest). Finally, Aubrey Moren (Division 4) rolled his ass to the top of this week's Interdivisional bracket. In terms of overall points: Kendall Kukowski governs Division 1; David Parre and Scott Murdock reign over Division 2 in a tie; John Richardson tops Division 3; and Aubrey Moren is in the driver's seat in Division 4.

NEXT WEEK:

• First, on lanes 19&20, 8th-place It's Britney, Bitch (hcp 142) will match wits with 2nd-place Bad Newz Kennels. Britney is expected to maintain their current strength as they get swept; while the Kennels are forecast to hold steady as they rack up a sweep.
• Moving to lanes 21&22, 7th-place Dios Mios will share a couple of pitchers with 5th-place ? (hcp 19). Dios Mios might roll a little low and get swept; while ? ought to raise their average while they rack up a sweep.
• Then, over on lanes 23&24, 10th-place Split Happens (hcp 154) will chill with 4th-place Sofa King Good. Split Happens will likely maintain their current strength as they get swept; while Sofa King will probably hold steady as they rack up a sweep.
• Next up, on lanes 25&26, 1st-place 3 Dudes and a Doll will compete against 6th-place Dr. Strangelanes, Or How I Learned To Stop Opening And Earn The Belt. 3 Dudes and a Doll might maintain their current strength as they win the series; while Dr. Strangelanes ought to drop their average a bit while they avoid getting swept.
• Finally, on lanes 27&28, 9th-place Ebowla (hcp 172) will socialize with 3rd-place You Don't Know Sh!t. Ebowla is predicted to maintain their current strength as they lose the series but avoid getting swept; while Don't Know Sh!t is anticipated to drop their average a bit even as they enjoy their victories.

THIS WEEK'S MVB Aubrey Moren Runner Up: (See Posting)	#1 POWER BOWLER Aubrey Moren Runner Up: Kendall Kukowski	#1 H2H BOWLER Aubrey Moren Runner Up: Kendall Kukowski
FROM THE GUTTER (GUTTER QUOTE) "Can I get a government bailout for my bowling fees?" John Koehler, preachin' it.