By now every team has bowled each other once, so next week is the Spring 2007 position round. But enough about next week, you came here to read about this week. The ninth week saw three teams climb in the standings, while three teams slipped. Angela Bradford picked up this week's high game (190) and series (499) for the women, while John Boren earned this week's high game (246) and series (675) for the men. Read on for all the rest of the details!

First up, on lanes 15 & 16: Churn and Burn spent a romantic evening with Frickin' Ten Pin. Starring Jason Carpio with his awe-inspiring 602 series, Churn and Burn collected 3 wins against Ten Pin. In the midst of this, Phil Schroeder drew the spotlight in Ten Pin with his 499 despite his team notching only a single win. Churn and Burn leaps 1 spot in the standings to 6th place, while Ten Pin sinks 1 spot to 7th.

On lanes 17 & 18: T.B.D. kept stealing sips of beer from Unstoppabowl. With T.B.D. forfeiting, all Unstoppabowl needed to do was roll within 40 pins of their combined team average each game. However, that would not be the case. In their battle to get within at least 40 pins of average, Cory Chorpenning ruled Unstoppabowl with his below-average 532 as his team took the series with 3 wins. T.B.D. drops 1 spot in the standings to 10th place, while Unstoppabowl remains in 3rd.

On lanes 19 & 20: King Pins couldn't stop inappropriately groping Those 4 Bowlers. With top billing by Duncan Ferber with his remarkable 613 series, King Pins split the series with 4 Bowlers. On the adjacent lane, Seth Gunderson mastered 4 Bowlers with his above-average 562 as they matched their opponent in wins. King Pins leap 1 spot in the standings to 9th place, while 4 Bowlers remain in 5th.

On lanes 21 & 22: Oily Balls spent some quality time with Guttersluts. Though reinforced by Ken M. Wilson with his 549 series, Oily Balls got swept by Guttersluts. Concurrently, trifecta-winner (#1 Head-to-Head, #1 Power-Ranked, and Most Valuable Bowler) John Boren guided Guttersluts with his miraculous 675 as they swept the competition. Oily Balls drop 1 spot in the standings to 2nd place, while Guttersluts move 1 spot to 1st.

Finally, down on lanes 23 & 24: Doll's Balls hung out with X9XX. Though featuring Ryan Doll with his 516 series, Doll's Balls accomplished only 1 win against X9XX. On the other side, Don Glasscock commanded X9XX with his 603 as his team took the series with 3 wins. Doll's Balls remains in 8th place, while X9XX remains in 4th.

Bowlers who stripped naked and shared a cozy hottub together in a back room at The 200 Club include: Bill Krejci (204), Cory Chorpenning (210), Don Glasscock (226), Duncan Ferber (244), Jason Carpio (207,242), John Boren (214,215,246), John Coleman (201), Pat Searcy (200), Ryan Doll (209), and Seth Gunderson (216)

In this week's Tournament of Champions brackets: John Boren walloped Division 1, while nobody claimed victory in Division 2 (though Bill Krejci came closest). Nobody claimed victory in Division 3 (though Angela Bradford came closest), and nobody claimed victory in Division 4 (though Shaun Crockett came closest). And, finally, nobody claimed victory in the Interdivisional bracket, and in fact we aren't even going to talk about this bracket as it was a complete embarassment. In terms of overall points: Pat Searcy holds the reins in Division 1; Seth Gunderson calls the shots for Division 2; Deena Slinkard runs the show in Division 3; and Kendall Kukowski governs Division 4.

NEXT WEEK:

• First, on lanes 15&16, 1st-place Guttersluts (hcp 47) will compete against 2nd-place Oily Balls. Guttersluts are expected to perform well, yet still manage to lose the series but avoid getting swept; while Oily Balls are forecast to hold steady as they enjoy their victories.
• Moving to lanes 17&18, 3rd-place Unstoppabowl (hcp 21) will challenge 4th-place X9XX. Unstoppabowl might maintain their current strength as they and split the series with X9XX; while X9XX ought to hold steady as they keep the series tied.
• Then, over on lanes 19&20, 5th-place Those 4 Bowlers (hcp 12) will tussle with 6th-place Churn and Burn. 4 Bowlers will likely roll decently and win the series; while Churn and Burn will probably hold steady as they avoid getting swept.
• Next up, on lanes 21&22, 7th-place Frickin' Ten Pin will share a couple of pitchers with 8th-place Doll's Balls (hcp 49). Ten Pin might maintain their current strength as they lose the series but avoid getting swept; while Doll's Balls ought to raise their average while they enjoy their victories.
• Finally, on lanes 23&24, 9th-place King Pins will battle 10th-place T.B.D.. King Pins are predicted to maintain their current strength as they win the series; while T.B.D. is anticipated to drop their average a bit while avoid getting swept.

THIS WEEK'S MVB John Boren Runner Up: (See Posting)	#1 POWER BOWLER John Boren Runner Up: Jason Carpio	#1 H2H BOWLER John Boren Runner Up: Seth Gunderson
FROM THE GUTTER (GUTTER QUOTE) "Now that is just ridiculous, Dude. Nobody is going to cut your dick off. Not if I have anything to say about it." Andee Weinfurt, reassuring Kendall Kukowski, who was heading to the men's room.