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It’s Springtime! Why are we inside?

Posted by AJ Hofmann March 20, 2018 Spring 2018, Week 8 View Score Sheets

The Spring 2018 position round is now history, and the championship will be on us before we know it! This week we saw two teams move up in the rankings, while three teams were left muttering about how to impeach league President Scott Murdock who was absent for an unprecedented 102nd time visiting one of his favorite bars. Taking advantage of the first day of Spring, one bowler set a new personal best series, and two rolled new personal high games. Monica Hufford landed this week's high game for the women with a 208, and women's high series was bagged by Angela Bradford with a 496. As for the men, Matthew Taylor earned this week's high game (266) and series (630). Read on for all the rest of the details!

First up, on lanes 3 & 4: Armed with a growing stack of grievances and transgressions against the league, WITNESS!!! tried to create some space between them and second place Splitbowl Countries. Splitbowl came out firing to dominate game one behind Matthew Taylor's high game of the week (266) and eventual high series of the week (630). After removing their shoes to count on their fingers and toes the pins needed to make up, WITNESS!!! clawed their way back to take games 2 and 3 along with series. In retaliation for clogging up the turned off lanes with gutter balls, the computers awarded Splitbowl a rare fourth game, resulting in our first ever regular season 5 game matchup that Splitbowl wins 3 to 2. WITNESS!!! holds onto 1st place, while Splitbowl remains in 2nd.

On lanes 5 & 6: Unable to claim Bob Brunker's abnormally high average as blind, HOF Sandwich was forced to pick up incredibly difficult splits while Mary Janes Last Frame brought in a scientist to provide them a much needed doping formula. Despite starting off strong and winning game one, Mary Jane's magic potion ran out, AJ Hofmann is in a walking boot after kicking the ball return, and Sandwich won the last two games and series. Kody Karnes (tonight's split master) improved his game with an above-average 628 series. Michael Mead, saddened by Scott's lack of recognition for his birthday, put up a better-than-normal 605 series. HOF Sandwich remains in 3rd place, while Mary Jane wonders when sidelined Dennis Walling will return as they drop 1 spot to 5th.

On lanes 7 & 8: With a battle so mismatched that the outcome could trigger the apocalypse (or at least a shortage of beer), the "we used to be a championship team" Holy Sandbaggers, Batman! entered a showdown to the death with the long-shots PBR Me, ASAP. Though somewhat emboldened by Phil Schroeder with his 501 series, the Sandbaggers managed only 1 win against PBR. On the other lane, encouraged by Pat Hamell's return, Josh Rothermel led PBR with a 413 series (with kudos to Most Valuable Bowler JoAnne Gordon) as his team took the match with 3 wins. Holy Sandbaggers, Batman! drops 1 spot in the standings to 6th place, while PBR leaps 2 spots to 4th (one spot higher than JoAnne's brother Michael Gordon.)

Finally, down on lanes 9 & 10: Three Strikes and a Spare had some one-on-one time with Sit Down, Be Humbowl. Notwithstanding the leadership of Monica Hufford and her 461 series, Three Strikes accomplished only 1 win against Humbowl. So what went on with the other team? Well, #1 Power Ranked and #1 Head-to-Head Brian Byfield pulled out all the stop on his way to a 528 series propelling Humbowl to 3 wins. The dramatics of position round caused these teams to flip positions with Three Strikes and a Spare moving down 1 spot in the standings to 8th place, while Humbowl inches up 1 spot to 7th.

Bowlers who lied to their significant other claiming bowling was running long then went out for after-bowling drinks at The 200 Club include: Aaron Barber (218,213), Bob Brunker (203), Jonathan Vigliaturo (244), Kody Karnes (215,216), Matthew Taylor (266), Michael Gordon (225), Michael Mead (233), Monica Hufford (208), and Sean Simmons (210,205)

New personal high games were set tonight by Matthew Taylor (266, previous best 254) and Brian Byfield (191, previous best 187). In addition, a new personal best series was rolled by Brian Byfield (528, previous best 492).

Adding to the excitement, the 266 rolled by Matthew Taylor is this season's new high game for men.

In this week's Tournament of Champions brackets: Nobody claimed victory in Division 1 (though Michael Mead came closest), while nobody claimed victory in Division 2, and in fact we aren't even going to talk about Division 2 as it was a complete embarassment. Sean Simmons eradicated Division 3, and Brian Byfield whipped Division 4. In terms of overall points: Michael Mead reigns over Division 1; Nick Kinney and Phil Schroeder govern Division 2 in a tie; Jonathan Vigliaturo and Ben Spencer are both in the driver's seat (on each other's laps?) in Division 3 in a tie; and Emily Nicolet tops Division 4.

NEXT WEEK:

  • First, on lanes 3&4, 5th-place Mary Janes Last Frame will chill with 8th-place Three Strikes and a Spare (hcp 159). Mary Jane is expected to roll a little low, yet still manage to sweep the series; while Three Strikes are forecast to drop their average a bit while they endure a rough night.
  • Moving to lanes 5&6, 6th-place Holy Sandbaggers, Batman! will hang out with 7th-place Sit Down, Be Humbowl (hcp 48). The Sandbaggers might maintain their current strength as they sweep the series; while Humbowl ought to drop their average a bit while they endure a rough night.
  • Then, over on lanes 7&8, 3rd-place HOF Sandwich will tussle with 4th-place PBR Me, ASAP (hcp 175). The Sandwich will likely roll decently and sweep the series; while PBR will probably hold steady as they endure a rough night.
  • Finally, on lanes 9&10, 1st-place WITNESS!!! will battle 2nd-place Splitbowl Countries (hcp 18). Witness!!! is predicted to roll a little low, yet still manage to win the series; while Splitbowl is anticipated to drop their average a bit while they avoid getting swept.

*(Remember, the predicted results above are based on mathematical extrapolations and can be changed by all sorts of factors. If you don't like how your team's results are predicted, you and your teammates have the power to prove the math wrong!)

THIS WEEK'S MVB


JoAnne Gordon
Runner Up:
(See Posting)

  #1 POWER BOWLER


Brian Byfield
Runner Up:
Sean Simmons

  #1 H2H BOWLER


Brian Byfield
Runner Up:
Sean Simmons

  FROM THE GUTTER (GUTTER QUOTE)
"I told her to bring us another beer in 5 minutes and it's been 7 now."

Aaron Barber, explaining his abysmal game 1

EXPANDED STANDINGS
Pos. Team name Record Percent Total Pins Change
1 WITNESS!!! 25-7 .781 17,538 n/a
2 Splitbowl Countries 21.5-10.5 .672 16,974 n/a
3 HOF Sandwich 19.5-12.5 .609 17,142 n/a
4 PBR Me, ASAP 15-17 .469 12,212 +2
5 Mary Janes Last Frame 14-18 .438 17,176 -1
6 Holy Sandbaggers, Batman! 14-18 .438 16,206 -1
7 Sit Down, Be Humbowl 10-22 .313 12,654 +1
8 Three Strikes and a Spare 8-24 .250 12,325 -1

Top Individual Achievements for Week 8
Men's High Series Scratch Women's High Series Scratch
Matthew Taylor - 630
Kody Karnes - 628
Michael Mead - 605
Sean Simmons - 593
Aaron Barber - 579
Angela Bradford - 496
Monica Hufford - 461
Freda Schroeder - 456
JoAnne Barber - 412
Emily Nicolet - 327
Men's High Series Handicap Women's High Series Handicap
Brian Byfield - 696
Sean Simmons - 669
Jonathan Vigliaturo - 655
Michael Mead - 650
Kody Karnes - 644
JoAnne Barber - 616
Freda Schroeder - 600
Monica Hufford - 566
Angela Bradford - 556
Sarah Noble - 550
Men's High Game Scratch Women's High Game Scratch
Matthew Taylor - 266
Jonathan Vigliaturo - 244
Michael Mead - 233
Michael Gordon - 225
Aaron Barber - 218
Monica Hufford - 208
Angela Bradford - 193
Freda Schroeder - 167
JoAnne Barber - 164
Sarah Noble - 139
Men's High Game Handicap Women's High Game Handicap
Jonathan Vigliaturo - 276
Matthew Taylor - 266
Michael Mead - 248
Brian Byfield - 247
Sean Simmons - 235
Monica Hufford - 243
JoAnne Barber - 232
Freda Schroeder - 215
Sarah Noble - 215 (t)
Angela Bradford - 213
Emily Nicolet - 187
Men's Pins Over Average Women's Pins Over Average
Jonathan Vigliaturo - 85
Matthew Taylor - 66
Brian Byfield - 61
Michael Mead - 52
Sean Simmons - 42
Monica Hufford - 52
JoAnne Barber - 49
Sarah Noble - 34
Freda Schroeder - 27
Angela Bradford - 18


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Ken and Carl lament a night being swept.

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