After jumping the gun last week, the Alt-Left can now finally celebrate a legitimate claim to first place, due largely to a certain team member who has apparently found new ways to exercise his left hand. Meanwhile last week's 1st place team plummets all the way to 5th. The Tournament of Champions also started up with its new 40-bowler format. Read on to see how it all shook out!

First up, on lanes 1 & 2: The Alt-Left did battle with JG's Rusty Nuts. Led by Lefty Ian Goetz and his ridiculous and almost certainly fake-news 479 series, The Alt-Left trumped up 3 wins against JG's Rusty Nuts. Meanwhile, led by Jeremy Varnell and his 383 series, JG's Rusty Nuts could only pour out 1 win. The Alt-Left climbs 1 spot in the standings to 1st place, while the Rusty Nuts remains in 7th.

On lanes 3 & 4: Mustache Cash Stash's anchor Michael Mead presumably ate a shit-ton of cheese sticks while pre-bowling late Monday night, plummeting his scores tremendously in the process. However, this had absolutely no impact on tonight's matchup with Less Terra Bowl. Led by Michael Gordon and his 577 series, and assisted by Most Valuable Bowler AJ Hofmann (with a new personal best game of 210), Mustache Cash Stash pounded out 3 wins against a half-sick Less Terra Bowl. Meanwhile, led by Matthew Taylor and his 557 series, Less Terra Bowl could only cough up 1 win. Mustache Cash Stash climbs 1 spot in the standings to 2nd place, while Less Terra Bowl drops 1 spot to 6th.

On lanes 5 & 6: A halved Holy Sandbaggers, Batman! spent the evening watching Bowl Yer Ballz Off doodle some doodles. Led by Phil Schroeder and his 492 series, Holy Sandbaggers, Batman! sketched out a clean sweep over Bowl Yer Ballz Off. Meanwhile, led by Rob Kaszuba and his 442 series, Bowl Yer Ballz Off got swept. Holy Sandbaggers, Batman! climbs 2 spots in the standings to 4th place, while Bowl Yer Ballz Off sinks 4 spots to 5th. If only Clifford could put as much energy into bowling left-handed as he puts into his back-of-scoresheet drawings that Scoot unfortunately forgot to erase this week and is now bracing for the angry phone call from the back office sometime in the next few days.


On lanes 7 & 8: In tonight's slowest matchup, Roll, Drink, Repeat sparred with Split It & Hit It. Led by Sean Simmons and his 499 series, Roll, Drink, Repeat managed only 1 win against Split It & Hit It. Meanwhile, led by Russell Bingham and his 484 series, Split It & Hit It secured 3 wins. Roll, Drink, Repeat drops 1 spot in the standings to 10th place, while Split It & Hit It moves up 1 spot to 9th.

Finally, down on lanes 9 & 10: NotContra received a visit from a now-complete Brooklyn Strikers. Led by #1 Power Ranked and #1 Head-to-Head Nick Kinney and his 579 series, NotContra split the series with Brooklyn Strikers. Meanwhile, led by newcomer Steven Anthony and his 515 series, Brooklyn Strikers ended in a stalemate. NotContra climbs 1 spot in the standings to 3rd place, while Brooklyn Strikers remains in 8th.

In this week's Tournament of Champions brackets: Aaron Barber won Division 1, while AJ Hofmann ruled Division 2. Brian Byfield conquered Division 3, and Conrad Bonney clobbered Division 4. Finally, Freda Schroeder (Division 3) swept this week's Interdivisional bracket. In terms of overall points: Aaron Barber runs the show in Division 1; AJ Hofmann dominates Division 2; Freda Schroeder and Brian Byfield reign over Division 3 in a tie; and Conrad Bonney is in the driver's seat in Division 4.

(By the way, the official color of the Interdivisional Bracket has been changed to yellow after comments were made that the charcoal gray used tonight was depressing.)

Bowlers entering The 200 Club include: Aaron Barber (201), AJ Hofmann (210), Jonathan Vigliaturo (215), Matthew Taylor (215), Michael Gordon (243), Michael Mead (203), and Nick Kinney (203)

THIS WEEK'S MVB AJ Hofmann Runner Up: (See Posting)	#1 POWER BOWLER Nick Kinney Runner Up: AJ Hofmann	#1 H2H BOWLER Nick Kinney Runner Up: AJ Hofmann
FROM THE GUTTER (GUTTER QUOTE) "She told me she wouldn't be able to service me tonight and I'd need to take care of myself." Pat Hamell, hopefully talking about there being only one server working tonight.