A stagnated seventh week of Spring 2009 resulted in absolutely no movement in the standings. Freda Schroeder picked up this week's high game (192) and series (514) for the women, while Pat Searcy earned this week's high game (252) and series (662) for the men. Read on for all the rest of the details!

First up, on lanes 19 & 20: Turkey Sandwich tussled with Chicks With Balls. Despite being led by Jason Carpio with his 538 series, Turkey Sandwich accomplished only 1 win against the Chicks. On the flipside, Janelle (Laube) Lamar shined in the Chicks with her above-average 435 (with kudos to Most Valuable Bowler Kelly Minihan) as her team took the series with 3 wins. Turkey Sandwich remains in 7th place, while the Chicks remain in 5th.

On lanes 21 & 22: Rule 6B celebrated their love of large, heavy balls with Capt. Awesome & Wonder Friends. With the strength of Ryan Doll with his 486 series, Rule 6B collected 3 wins against Wonder Friends. Simultaneously, Ryan Housknecht mastered Wonder Friends with his above-average 407 despite his team notching only a single win. Rule 6B remains in 3rd place, while Wonder Friends remain in 8th.

On lanes 23 & 24: No Pinheads had a delightful time with Schlitz For Us, Splits For You. Topped by Pat Searcy with his breathtaking 662 series, No Pinheads collected 3 wins against Schlitz. On the other side, Bob Brunker laid down the law in Schlitz with his 548 despite his team notching only a single win. No Pinheads remains in 2nd place, while Schlitz remains in 1st.

On lanes 25 & 26: XXX alternated between bowling and dry humping Chico's Bail Bonds. Though reinforced by Rich DeYoung with his above-average 518 series, XXX accomplished only 1 win against Chico's. Meanwhile, #1 Power Ranked and #1 Head-to-Head Carl Goetz dominated Chico's with his stupendous 632 as his team took the series with 3 wins. XXX remains in 9th place, while Chico's remain in 4th.

Finally, down on lanes 27 & 28: Sh!t, Another Season sparred with WWJB. Featuring Rob Kaszuba with his above-average 496 series, Another Season celebrated a clean sweep over WWJB. Concurrently, AJ Taylor guided WWJB with his 392 despite his team getting swept. Sh!t, Another Season remains in 6th place, while WWJB remains in 10th.

Bowlers sneaking into The 200 Club include: Bob Brunker (221), Carl Goetz (222,214), Jason Carpio (202), and Pat Searcy (252,234)

In this week's Tournament of Champions brackets: Nobody claimed victory in Division 1 (though Jason Carpio came closest), while nobody claimed victory in Division 2 (though Rich DeYoung came closest). Chris Lewis made quick work of Division 3, and Ryan Housknecht vanquished Division 4. Finally, Carl Goetz (Division 1) shut down this week's Interdivisional bracket. In terms of overall points: Carl Goetz reigns over Division 1; Phil Schroeder calls the shots for Division 2; Chris Lewis is in the driver's seat in Division 3; and Deena Slinkard holds the reins in Division 4.

NEXT WEEK:

• First, on lanes 19&20, 4th-place Chico's Bail Bonds will chuck some balls with 8th-place Capt. Awesome & Wonder Friends (hcp 159). Chico's are expected to maintain their current strength as they win the series; while Wonder Friends are forecast to raise their average even as they avoid getting swept.
• Moving to lanes 21&22, 10th-place WWJB (hcp 158) will challenge 2nd-place No Pinheads. WWJB might perform well, yet still manage to get swept; while No Pinheads ought to raise their average while they rack up a sweep.
• Then, over on lanes 23&24, 7th-place Turkey Sandwich will compete against 9th-place XXX (hcp 31). Turkey Sandwich will likely roll decently and win the series; while XXX will probably raise their average even as they avoid getting swept.
• Next up, on lanes 25&26, 6th-place Sh!t, Another Season will hang out with 5th-place Chicks With Balls (hcp 152). Another Season might roll a little low and lose the series but avoid getting swept; while the Chicks ought to raise their average while they enjoy their victories.
• Finally, on lanes 27&28, 3rd-place Rule 6B (hcp 25) will roll against 1st-place Schlitz For Us, Splits For You. Rule 6B is predicted to maintain their current strength as they get swept; while Schlitz is anticipated to raise their average while they rack up a sweep.

THIS WEEK'S MVB Kelly Minihan Runner Up: (See Posting)	#1 POWER BOWLER Carl Goetz Runner Up: Pat Searcy	#1 H2H BOWLER Carl Goetz Runner Up: Chris Lewis
FROM THE GUTTER (GUTTER QUOTE) "Hell, I can get you a toe by 3 o'clock this afternoon... with nail polish." Adam Messner, collecting orders for the snack bar.