The fifth week of Spring 2008 saw three teams climb in the standings, while three teams slipped. Angela Bradford landed this week's high game for the women with a 199, and women's high series was bagged by Freda Schroeder with a 534. As for the men, Cory Chorpenning snagged this week's high game with a 237, and high series was earned by Don Glasscock with a 659. Read on for all the rest of the details!
First up, on lanes 19 & 20: ? entered a showdown to the death with Split Happens. Led by John Coleman with his 524 series, ? celebrated a clean sweep over Split Happens. In the midst of this, Ryan Simonet drew the spotlight in Split Happens with his above-average 466 despite his team getting swept. ? remains in 5th place, while Split Happens sink 1 spot to 10th.
On lanes 21 & 22: 3 Dudes and a Doll tussled with Sofa King Good. Highlighting the skills of Ryan Doll with his above-average 582 series, 3 Dudes and a Doll collected 3 wins against Sofa King. In the meantime, Don Glasscock called the shots for Sofa King with his 659 despite his team notching only a single win. 3 Dudes and a Doll remains in 1st place, while Sofa King remains in 4th.
On lanes 23 & 24: Bad Newz Kennels kept grabbing the balls of You Don't Know Sh!t. With top billing by Dennis Laube with his above-average 548 series, and supported tremendously by real star — trifecta-winner #1 Power-Ranked, #1 Head-to-Head, and Most Valuable Bowler Aubrey Moren, the Kennels collected 3 wins against Don't Know Sh!t. Meanwhile, Cory Chorpenning mastered Don't Know Sh!t with his 643 despite his team notching only a single win. Bad Newz Kennels leap 1 spot in the standings to 2nd place, while Don't Know Sh!t sinks 1 spot to 3rd.
On lanes 25 & 26: Dios Mios deliberately ate cheese sticks in front of Ebowla. Regardless of the star power of Bill Krejci with his (either injured, sick, or sandbagging) 486 series, Dios Mios accomplished only 1 win against Ebowla. Across the ball return, Travis Kleiner reigned supreme in Ebowla with his below-average 451 as his team took the series with 3 wins. Dios Mios leap 1 spot in the standings to 7th place, while Ebowla moves 1 spot to 9th.
Finally, down on lanes 27 & 28: It's Britney, Bitch alternated between bowling and dry humping Dr. Strangelanes, Or How I Learned To Stop Opening And Earn The Belt. Although blessed by Dave Winger with his 416 series, Britney got swept by Dr. Strangelanes. Simultaneously, Seth Gunderson guided Dr. Strangelanes with his 566 as they swept the competition. It's Britney, Bitch drops 1 spot in the standings to 8th place, while Dr. Strangelanes remain in 6th.
Bowlers who lied to their significant other claiming bowling was running long then went out for after-bowling drinks at The 200 Club include: Cory Chorpenning (237,216), David Parre (204), Dennis Laube (208,202), Don Glasscock (213,232,214), John Coleman (204), Kendall Kukowski (209), and Ryan Doll (220,206)
In this week's Tournament of Champions brackets: Kendall Kukowski whipped Division 1, while Scott Murdock cleaned up Division 2. John Richardson made quick work of Division 3, and nobody claimed victory in Division 4 (though Rob Kaszuba came closest). Finally, Aubrey Moren (Division 4) triumphed over his enemies in this week's Interdivisional bracket. In terms of overall points: Kendall Kukowski reigns over Division 1; David Parre and Scott Murdock are both in the driver's seat (on each other's laps?) in Division 2 in a tie; John Richardson leads Division 3; and Aubrey Moren tops Division 4.
NEXT WEEK:
- First, on lanes 19&20, 8th-place It's Britney, Bitch (hcp 142) will match wits with 2nd-place Bad Newz Kennels. Britney is expected to maintain their current strength as they get swept; while the Kennels are forecast to hold steady as they rack up a sweep.
- Moving to lanes 21&22, 7th-place Dios Mios will socialize with 5th-place ? (hcp 19). Dios Mios might roll a little low and get swept; while ? ought to raise their average while they rack up a sweep.
- Then, over on lanes 23&24, 10th-place Split Happens (hcp 154) will compete against 4th-place Sofa King Good. Split Happens will likely maintain their current strength as they get swept; while Sofa King will probably hold steady as they rack up a sweep.
- Next up, on lanes 25&26, 1st-place 3 Dudes and a Doll will battle 6th-place Dr. Strangelanes, Or How I Learned To Stop Opening And Earn The Belt. 3 Dudes and a Doll might maintain their current strength as they win the series; while Dr. Strangelanes ought to drop their average a bit while they avoid getting swept.
- Finally, on lanes 27&28, 9th-place Ebowla (hcp 172) will share a couple of pitchers with 3rd-place You Don't Know Sh!t. Ebowla is predicted to maintain their current strength as they lose the series but avoid getting swept; while Don't Know Sh!t is anticipated to drop their average a bit even as they enjoy their victories.
*(Remember, the predicted results above are based on mathematical extrapolations and can be changed by all sorts of factors. If you don't like how your team's results are predicted, you and your teammates have the power to prove the math wrong!)
|
|
#1 POWER BOWLER
|
Aubrey Moren
Runner Up:
Kendall Kukowski
|
|
|
#1 H2H BOWLER
|
Aubrey Moren
Runner Up:
Kendall Kukowski
|
|
|
FROM THE GUTTER (GUTTER QUOTE)
"I tried to ignore it, but my gaze was constantly drawn to Seth's dead wood."
Aubrey Moren, wishing someone would come get it off. (The lane.)
|
|
|
|
EXPANDED STANDINGS
| Pos. |
Team name |
Record |
Percent |
Total Pins |
Change |
| 1 |
3 Dudes and a Doll |
16-4 |
.800 |
9,354 |
n/a |
| 2 |
Bad Newz Kennels |
15-5 |
.750 |
9,664 |
+1 |
| 3 |
You Don't Know Sh!t |
13-7 |
.650 |
11,299 |
-1 |
| 4 |
Sofa King Good |
12-8 |
.600 |
10,527 |
n/a |
| 5 |
? |
12-8 |
.600 |
8,125 |
n/a |
| 6 |
Dr. Strangelanes, Or How I Learned To Stop Opening... |
11-9 |
.550 |
9,317 |
n/a |
| 7 |
Dios Mios |
6-14 |
.300 |
8,493 |
+1 |
| 8 |
It's Britney, Bitch |
6-14 |
.300 |
7,011 |
-1 |
| 9 |
Ebowla |
5-15 |
.250 |
7,966 |
+1 |
| 10 |
Split Happens |
4-16 |
.200 |
7,652 |
-1 |
insert into team_standings (teamID, seasonID, week, wins, losses, percent, movement, `rank`) values (107,17, 5, 4, 16, .200, -1, 10)
Top Individual Achievements for Week 5
