After a 2-week break a stagnated twelfth week of Fall 2025 turned into a twisted tale of triumph, torment, and tenpins. Though the standings refused to budge an inch—as if frozen in pin purgatory—bowling passions blazed hotter than a malfunctioning popcorn machine. One fearless competitor etched a new personal best series into history, while also reaching stratospheric heights with a career-high game. JoAnne Barber dazzled for the women, claiming this week’s high game (156) and series (401), while Nick Kinney thundered through the pins with a men’s high game (222) and series (583). The pins trembled, the bowlers roared, and the crowd gasped—read on for all the epic, hilarious, and occasionally heartbreaking details, and don't forget to check on your Bingo results.

Squid Row surfaced with purpose, seizing the first two games before losing a close third, but ultimately conquering the total series to earn three of four points. Matthew Taylor’s steely consistency shone through his 542 series, the quiet backbone of the team’s success. When Dennis Walling erupted with his 204 in Game 2, the pins scattered like startled fish fleeing a shark. Scott Thompson and Ben Spencer kept the Squids steady even through Game 3’s stumble, proving that focus beats flash when the oil gets tricky. Their 662 in Game 2 was an absolute tidal wave of accuracy and teamwork. “You can’t rush perfection,” Taylor said afterward. “Sometimes you just have to let the ink settle.” Squid Row’s controlled dominance held them comfortably in 4th, but the scent of upward momentum was unmistakable.

Meanwhile, Gutterly Hopeless may have dropped three of four games, but their spirits refused to sink. JoAnne Barber, the evening’s high scorer among women, fought heroically with her 156 gem in the final game, keeping the team from a total sweep. Her closing frame was the stuff of sports poetry — smooth release, perfect spin, crash of triumph. Chris Lenz quietly led by example, rolling a 406 series and quipping afterward, “At least we didn’t need the Coast Guard to rescue us.” Jeremy Varnell and Jacob Holst shook off sluggish starts to join JoAnne in salvaging that final victory, clawing out a 683 finish that had the crowd cheering. They may remain anchored in 5th place, but Hopeless proved there’s nothing hopeless about refusing to quit.

Bowls Deep went all the way — four games, total stamina, no excuses. Tremendous people, incredible bowlers, maybe the best. Everyone says so. They won three out of four games, just total domination — historic! Kurt Fredrickson — great man, strong wrists — rolled a Big Beautiful 416 series. You can’t fake numbers like that, folks. Brian Schaben? Very solid, 342 series, almost as impressive as our economy before Sleepy Joe ruined it. Carl Mueller, absolute powerhouse, doesn't cry unlike what the fake news media says, pulled a 407 while Chris Hagan delivered a magnificent 409. “Nobody bowls deeper than we do,” said Hagan afterward, proudly. And he’s right! Nobody knows bowling like these people. Not the fake news media, not Antifa, not the Democrats who run terrible bowling alleys in Democrat-run states. Incredible effort, huge victory — total America First performance. Fake polls say they are in last place. I don't want to hear anything about that. They are raking in pins like no one has ever seen.

And then there were the Trump’s Tariff Turkeys—great name, by the way, we love the name. These guys bowled hard, harder than anyone on SNAP ever worked. Tim Deddens, absolute hero, had a massive 472 series—so powerful, people are saying he should be Most Valuable Bowler. I agree. Tremendous bowler. Scott Murdock? Fantastic, rolled a 190, maybe one of the biggest numbers of the night. But the Turkeys—let’s be honest—got a little cooked. They won one game, which is fine, very fine, but not the best. Jim Koger was robbed by lane conditions, totally unfair—someone should sue the alley, maybe even the BBC while we’re at it. “We’ll be back, stronger, more tariff-y than ever,” vowed AJ Hofmann, wagging a finger like a man about to impose sanctions on the pins. They remain in 2nd place, but their spirits are pure MAGA gold.

No! Not Theo! didn’t just win four straight games — they conquered them, flattened them, and built a bowling empire on the ruins. It was a sweep so one-sided that it might be declared illegal in certain states. Nick Kinney, this week’s top male performer, was an unstoppable force with his 583 series, launching a 222 high game that made the pins file a complaint with OSHA. Seth Gunderson, simultaneously #1 Head-to-Head and #1 Power-Ranked, delivered a blistering 571 series that could have powered the entire bowling alley. Ian Estey’s 201 closer was pure poetry in motion, while Buck Nasty, after a sluggish start, surged late to secure the clean sweep. “We’re not here to win — we’re here to dominate,” Gunderson boasted, clutching his ball like a scepter. Not Theo! continues their reign in 1st place, utterly unstoppable and completely unapologetic.

For FFK, the night was a test of endurance and heart. With substitute Dawn Marie courageously stepping in, they gave everything they had, even as every frame felt like pushing a boulder uphill with a feather. Dustin Schmeltz’s 441 series stood as a beacon of effort, and Scott Lawson’s 168 final game proved the team refused to crumble. “It’s like trying to outswim a torpedo,” Lawson said afterward, shaking his head with weary admiration. Nathan Burrows chipped in wherever he could, and Dawn’s gutsy 98 in Game 2 earned her sincere cheers from the crowd. Despite losing all four games in a heartbreaking sweep, FFK left the lanes with dignity intact and a vow to bounce back stronger next week. “You can’t stay fluffy forever,” Schmeltz mused. “Sometimes you’ve got to sharpen the claws.” They remain in 3rd, but their resolve burns brighter than ever.

Week 12 may not have changed the standings, but it changed the temperature in the room. From Squid Row’s slippery success to Bowls Deep’s resurgence and Theo’s ongoing reign of terror, every lane was a battlefield of laughter, drama, and redemption. Records were set, pride was tested, and the pins—well, the pins never stood a chance.

Bowlers watching the northern lights out on the rooftop patio of The 200 Club include: Dennis Walling (204), Ian Estey (201), Nick Kinney (222), and Seth Gunderson (201,202)

A new personal high game was set tonight by Kurt Fredrickson (161, previous best 157). In addition, a new personal best series was rolled by Kurt Fredrickson (416, previous best 394).

In this week's Tournament of Champions brackets: Ian Estey routed Division 1, while Seth Gunderson got the better of Division 2. Kurt Fredrickson eradicated Division 3, and Brian Schaben cleaned up Division 4. In terms of overall points: Ian Estey reigns over Division 1; Seth Gunderson dominates Division 2; Nathan Burrows holds the reins in Division 3; and Chris Lenz governs Division 4.

NEXT WEEK:

• First, on lanes 1&2, 3rd-place FFK (hcp 21) will hang out with 2nd-place Trump's Tariff Turkeys. Fluffykins are expected to roll a little low and get swept; while Tariff Turkeys are forecast to drop their average a bit even as they rack up a sweep.
• Moving to lanes 3&4, 1st-place No! Not Theo! will socialize with 4th-place Squid Row (hcp 42). Not Theo! might perform well and sweep the series; while Squids ought to drop their average a bit while they endure a rough night.
• Finally, on lanes 5&6, 5th-place Gutterly Hopeless will share a couple of pitchers with 6th-place Bowls Deep (hcp 32). Hopeless are predicted to have a bit of an off night and lose the series but avoid getting swept; while Deeeeeep is anticipated to drop their average a bit even as they enjoy their victories.

^*(Remember, the predicted results above are based on mathematical extrapolations and can be changed by all sorts of factors. If you don't like how your team's results are predicted, you and your teammates have the power to prove the math wrong!)

THIS WEEK'S MVB Tim Deddens Runner Up: (See Posting)	#1 POWER BOWLER Seth Gunderson Runner Up: Kurt Fredrickson	#1 H2H BOWLER Seth Gunderson Runner Up: Kurt Fredrickson
FROM THE GUTTER (GUTTER QUOTE) "Scott knows all about handling balls." Tim Deddens, on Scoot's nice delicate ball delivery in an early frame of game 1.