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Cox: “Suckers!”

Posted by BowlingBot September 19, 2023 Fall 2023, Week 4 View Score Sheets

The fourth week of Fall 2023 brought thunderous applause and roaring excitement to the bowling lanes, with strikes and spares painting the alley in vibrant hues of victory and camaraderie. While some teams soared to new heights, others grappled with the challenge of maintaining their positions. It was a night of personal bests, thrilling showdowns, and unforgettable moments.

In the realm of fierce competition, JoAnne Barber emerged as the undisputed queen of the evening, leaving everyone in awe with her remarkable performance. With grace and precision, she defied all odds and claimed the crown for the highest game (133) and series (365) among the women bowlers. It wasn't just a victory; it was a masterclass in bowling finesse that left spectators in awe. And let's not forget the countless women JoAnne had to out-bowl to secure her title—a true testament to her prowess!

Speaking of remarkable achievements, Seth Gunderson proved that the lanes were his canvas, and he was the artist creating a masterpiece. With a colossal high game of 242 and an astonishing series of 562, Seth was a force to be reckoned with among the bowlers with 5 appendages. His performance was nothing short of a bowling symphony, leaving the pins trembling in his wake.

As the lanes sizzled with action, the stage was set for the Tournament of Champions, a thrilling extravaganza that promises 13 weeks of one-on-one bowling battles. It's a journey that promises to test the mettle of every bowler and leave the spectators (aka Kenny, Joe, Nick, and Ron) on the edge of their seats.

√-1 vs. Sun Dolphins (Lanes 1-2): It was a clash of epic proportions, where imaginary numbers met real talent. A sub we'll see a lot of this season, Dustin Schmeltz -- with his above-average 515 series -- added some magic to the team's performance, securing a split series against the formidable Sun Dolphins. But while Scott Thompson led his pod of Dolphins with his impressive 440 series, the real magic came from JC Cox who earned his second Most Valuable Bowler in a row as well as this week's #1 Power-Ranked bowler. It's almost as if he's been working a long game and is now playing us all for a bunch of Cox suckers. With the series split, √-1 climbs 1 spot in the standings to 4th place (clearly due to some other team faltering elsewhere), while Dolphins remain in... 2nd???????

Another week, another pile of abandoned Game 3 cash winnings. If this keeps, up, AJ is going to start pocketing it as tips for cleaning up all the trash after bowling.

DB Lenz a Hand vs. Balderdash (Lanes 3 & 4): In another split series, Doug Lenz, with his above-average 482 series, was the best ball grabber for "DB Handlers" -- while #1 Head-to-Head bowler, Dennis Walling, with his impressive 553 series, took the lead for the Bald Boys to ensure they matched their opponents in wins. "DB Lenz a Hand" handled their 6th place position as gracefully as they could, while the Bald Boys remain in 3rd place with an even record.

Glory Bowl vs. a Vigsless Vigs Eras Tour 2023 (Lanes 5 & 6): In a match that might have gone better for them had Glory Bowl spent more time focusing on the game than in smoothing out the holes they drilled in the men's room, Kent Harms led the G-Holers with his valiant 474 series. But alas, they got swept away by the Vigs Tour. Seth Gunderson saved an uninVIGorated Vigs from what could have been a bad night with his massive 242 in game 2, leading Vigs to a clean sweep of the competition with what could have been much worse but ended up a phenomenal 562 series. Glory Bowl saw themselves drop one spot in the standings, now residing in 5th place, while The Vigs Tour crew strengthened their dominance in 1st place.

Bowlers who renewed their memberships in The 200 Club include: Ben Spencer (204), Nathan Burrows (202), and Seth Gunderson (242)

New personal high games were set tonight by Nathan Burrows (202, previous best 191) and JC Cox (163, previous best 144). In addition, a new personal best series was rolled by JC Cox (421, previous best 400).

In this week's Tournament of Champions brackets: Nobody claimed victory in Division 1 (though Seth Gunderson came closest), while Ben Spencer mopped up Division 2. Doug Lenz swept Division 3, and nobody claimed victory in Division 4 (though Chris Lenz came closest). In terms of overall points: Seth Gunderson governs Division 1; Ben Spencer reigns over Division 2; Doug Lenz leads Division 3; and Chris Lenz calls the shots Division 4.

Fun Fact unless you are Scoot: In round 3, Chris Lenz became the first person in league history with a 120 average to roll 120 exactly against a blind in round 3 of the tournament, uncovering a never-before-seen bug in the programming that I was up diagnosing & fixing until almost midnight Tuesday night.

NEXT WEEK:

  • First, on lanes 1&2, 3rd-place Balderdash will hang out with 1st-place Vigs Eras Tour 2023 (hcp 21). Bald Boys are expected to perform well and sweep the series; while The Vigs Tour crew is forecast to drop their average a bit while they endure a rough night.
  • Moving to lanes 3&4, 2nd-place Sun Dolphins (hcp 40) will roll against 5th-place Glory Bowl. Dolphins might maintain their current strength as they get swept; while the G-Holers ought to hold steady as they rack up a sweep.
  • Finally, on lanes 5&6, 6th-place DB Lenz a Hand (hcp 28) will face 4th-place √-1. DB Handlers are predicted to maintain their current strength as they win the series; while Imaginary Number is anticipated to drop their average a bit while they avoid getting swept.

*(Remember, the predicted results above are based on mathematical extrapolations and can be changed by all sorts of factors. If you don't like how your team's results are predicted, you and your teammates have the power to prove the math wrong!)

THIS WEEK'S MVB


JC Cox
Runner Up:
(See Posting)

  #1 POWER BOWLER


JC Cox
Runner Up:
Ben Spencer

  #1 H2H BOWLER


Dennis Walling
Runner Up:
JC Cox

  FROM THE GUTTER (GUTTER QUOTE)
"Hurry and get it in, I don't know how much longer I can hold this up!"

Scott Murdock, to Michael Gordon, as they attempted to re-attach a wheel to a bowling bag.

EXPANDED STANDINGS
Pos. Team name Record Percent Total Pins Change
1 Vigs Eras Tour 2023 13-3 .813 7,874 n/a
2 Sun Dolphins 9-7 .563 6,283 n/a
3 Balderdash 8-8 .500 8,108 n/a
4 √-1 7-9 .438 7,050 +1
5 Glory Bowl 6-10 .375 6,570 -1
6 DB Lenz a Hand 5-11 .313 6,351 n/a

Top Individual Achievements for Week 4
Men's High Series Scratch Women's High Series Scratch
Seth Gunderson - 562
Dennis Walling - 553
Ben Spencer - 535
Dustin Schmeltz - 515
Doug Lenz - 482
JoAnne Barber - 365
Men's High Series Handicap Women's High Series Handicap
JC Cox - 661
Ben Spencer - 645
Chris Lenz - 624
Doug Lenz - 623
Buck Nasty - 619
JoAnne Barber - 564
Men's High Game Scratch Women's High Game Scratch
Seth Gunderson - 242
Ben Spencer - 204
Nathan Burrows - 202
Dustin Schmeltz - 190
Buck Nasty - 189
JoAnne Barber - 133
Men's High Game Handicap Women's High Game Handicap
Seth Gunderson - 258
Buck Nasty - 252
JC Cox - 243
Ben Spencer - 240
Chris Lenz - 235
JoAnne Barber - 199
Men's Pins Over Average Women's Pins Over Average
Buck Nasty - 68
JC Cox - 63
Seth Gunderson - 63 (t)
Chris Lenz - 51
Ben Spencer - 50
Nathan Burrows - 42
JoAnne Barber - 16


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