Thaw your balls, it's time to return to the lanes as the 33rd season of GutterAlley begins on Tuesday, January 19!This season will feature six new recruits making their debut this season! A special welcome to rookies Amber Waddle, Dustin Schmeltz, Leslie Patton, Michael Mead, Michelle Shoemaker, and Tim Deddens! In addition, three bowlers from the past are re-joining us. John Boren returns to us from the year 2014, Michelle Tollefson time-travels from 2003, and Angie Betts returns from what is... (more...)

We're down to the last week before the Spring 2016 season begins, and our league is now full! Thank you to those of you who worked so hard to try to find new bowlers, and special thanks to the A.A.A. trio that succeeded: Aaron Barber, AJ Hofmann, and Angela Bradford!We urgently need team names, bowling orders, and team captains from some of you. I'm especially looking at you: Jonathon, John, Seth, & Carl; Angela, Bob, Kody, & Michelle; AJ, Andrew, Chelsie, & Tim; Amber, Angie, Leslie, & Michelle;... (more...)

An expected 8th team for the Spring 2016 season has fallen through, so this is an urgent plea for 3-4 bowlers to join (or re-join) our league. Bowling begins January 19, but the final roster is needed by Friday, January 15!Our league is just-for-fun and meets Tuesday evenings. We don't care about skill level, all you have to do is be able to roll a ball 60 feet along a smooth oily surface. You also don't have to work for VML, though it's a lot cheaper if you do!Starts: January 19th, 2016 at... (more...)

It's that time of year again! Our next season of bowling begins on January 19, and we have open positions for a few more bowlers to join the league. We are an unsanctioned mixed-league that rolls on Tuesday evenings, with the focus being on fun. All skill levels are welcome.Starts: January 19th, 2016 at 6:30pm (practice starting at 6:20)Ends: May 10th, 2016 (total of 17 weeks)Cost: $14 per week, does NOT include the cost of rental shoes. (Full-time VML employees pay only $8/week.)Location:... (more...)

With 32 seasons of bowling now behind us, the Fall 2015 season ended tonight as the 4th best season in league history. Both in terms of combined league average and in terms of the number (206) of 200+ games rolled. Congratulations, everyone, on a great season!BEFORE WE GET ON WITH THE WRITEUP, BE SURE TO VOTE FOR YOUR END OF SEASON FAVORITES! AND JOIN US ON DEC 22 FOR PRIZE MONEY AND FUN WEEK!Since no teams changed positions in the standings, the rundown of the matchups will also double as a rundown... (more...)

For reasons unknown, that definitely had nothing to do with the first place team getting swept, the lanes started falling apart tonight! As did any chance of seeing any of 2nd thru 6th place get locked up early. (more...)  Read More →

With their victories tonight, and with an assist provided by Split It & Hit It, Salt Water Taffy secured the Fall 2015 championship tonight. This is the 2nd championship for Jonathan Vigliaturo, the 5th for Ian Goetz, the 7th for Seth Gunderson, and the 10th for Carl Goetz. Congratulations, fellas! Try not to spend your extra five bucks in one place.The fact that the championship was determined already kind of tells you what went down on lanes 41 & 42. Holy Sandbaggers, Batman! was... (more...)

Turkey week saw lots of turkeys but no movement in the standings, likely due to everyone being overloaded on tryptophan.First up, on lanes 41 & 42: Andrew Finger led It's A Trap! to a sweep against the blind team with his 518 series. However, a big assist came from Dennis Cummings. Last week Dennis noticed that he bowled better taking his glasses off, so he tried it again this week and earned Most Valuable Bowler. It's A Trap! remains in 7th place, while Ray & Stevie remains in 8th.... (more...)

Because the results of the bowling matchups this week were so expected, and therefore so boring, Scoot has absolutely no inspiration for what to write about this week. Due to this, just so Scoot would stay awake writing this, much of the following is a load of crap.On lanes 41 & 42: Salt Water Taffy faced off against 404: Team Name Not Found. Despite (or perhaps because of) being constantly distracted by Zach Cross's wardrobe malfunctions, Ian Goetz rolled his balls off with a 636 series to... (more...)

While everyone has been worrying about the antics of Salt Water Taffy and Stephen Hawkings Dance Club, another team has been quietly cornholing us all and climbing the ranks. With a three week streak sweep so far, could a new contender for first be in our future?First up, on lanes 41 & 42: The other half of Split It & Hit It showed up to roll against 3/4 of It's A Trap!. Led by Todd Way and his 514 series, Split It & Hit It freed 3 wins from the Trap. Chelsie Finger and her... (more...)

After lurking in the shadows much of the season, honing and refining their hunting skills, both of the league's Seans struck with a vengeance tonight. With a 154 average, Sean Miller rolled a 203 and a 205; with a 138 average, Sean Simmons rolled a 214. Congrats, guys, on kicking the door down to The 200 Club!In our first matchup, on lanes 41 & 42, a suffering Hold My Beer, Watch This hoped that Holy Sandbaggers, Batman! would be weak and tired after post-bowling the night before. No such... (more...)

Despite Zoo Bar being cleaned out of virtually everything after today's festivities, there's just enough Guinness and Founders left for Scoot to celebrate his birthday. As a result, tonight's update may be delayed until morning.  Read More →

With Game 1 of the World Series underway, only about half the league showed up to bowl tonight. Most of us were done before 8:00, and with one team post-bowling this will be an abbreviated writeup for now.First up, on lanes 41 & 42: 404: Team Name Not Found faced off against Stephen Hawking's Dance Club. "Leading" 404 with a 482 series, Scott Murdock was eyeing a good shot at his second 600+ series before everything came crashing down in the 9th frame of game 2. Meanwhile, Russell Bingham... (more...)

Tonight's position round reshuffled the standings deck almost as much as Ian shuffled Scoot's poker cards a few weeks ago. In the process, two veteran bowlers set new personal best records.First up, on lanes 41 & 42: Stephen Hawking's Dance Club knew they couldn't get Salt Water Taffy unstuck from first place, but they hoped to at least time a bite from their lead. But Ian Goetz had already made plans to roll his new personal best series tonight, a 709, to lead his team to a 3-1 victory and... (more...)

It hardly seems possible, but the mid-season position round is already upon us! Tonight's games set the stage for next week, and one of our long-time bowlers reached a long-sought-after milestone. And, for the first time all season, no one was absent!First up, on lanes 41 & 42: Holy Sandbaggers, Batman! battled for position against Split It & Hit It. Split It seemed poised to work their way up the standings under the leadership of Dennis Blake and his 490 series. However Aubrey Moren... (more...)

The last night of bowling before a two-week pause saw some shifts in the standings that could lead to some unexpected matchups for the position round.On lanes 41 & 42: Hold My Beer, Watch This thought that since they were bowling the last place team, they'd continue their rise towards first place. Unfortunately for them no one warned them that It's A Trap! Despite a 632 series from Kody Karnes, the rest of the team stumbled and bumbled about in their Blue Moon drunkenness and forgot they... (more...)

When bowling completed tonight, the men of Stephen Hawking's Dance Club went home convinced they were the first place leaders. Which should make you nervous that those math skills dispense your pharmaceuticals. Bill Krejci shows off his new future Men's High Series Scratch contender. Congratulations, Bill!First up, on lanes 41 & 42: Split It & Hit It was tasked by the entire league with chewing some Taffy. Sadly, Dennis Blake's 590 series, was only enough for 1 win against the Taffy.... (more...)

If you've paid attention to this site in the past several days, you have have noticed a few brand-spanking new* features!NEW WEEKLY WAY TO BRAG!First we had Most Valuable Bowler, which measures who individually helped their team the most.   Then we added Power Rankings, which measure how well each person bowled relative to their own strengths.   Now we launch Head-to-Head, which gives you a weekly count of how many games you would have won if you had rolled every other bowler in the league one-on-one.Generally,... (more...)

Tonight saw a bit of a shakeup in the standings, including a surge from a team that couldn't be bothered to show up on the proper bowling night yet still thinks they get to bank their Scoot-humpings until next week.But before we get to that, on lanes 41 & 42: It's A Trap! faced off against Stephen Hawking's Dance Club. Though the predictions called for a sweep, Andrew Finger's 597 series wasn't enough for the Trap to muster more than 1 win. Meanwhile Michael Gordon turned it on with a 557... (more...)

Scoot has finished reprogramming the Tournament of Champions to factor in our Blind Team, and now the first bracket is set!Each division has one of the league's four "Vacancy" bowler, and each week the Vacancy will be seeded at a different spot in the bracket. It's hoped that this will help spread things out so everyone gets a fairly equal number of times bowling the Vacancy.Take a look at this season's first bracket to see who you, personally, will be trying to smack down on Tuesday night!  Read More →