As we roll into the midpoint of the Spring 2024 season, the stakes are higher than ever, with teams vying for a chance to seize the championship. The eighth week unfolded with the intensity of a a humping by Seth, though in the end the standings stood still. Amidst the gripping competition, JoAnne Barber emerged as the queen of the lanes, claiming both the high game (122) and high series (317) titles for the woman. On the men's front, AJ Hofmann unleashed a striking performance with a powerful 214 for the high game, while Michael Gordon dominated the series with an impressive 553.

"It's Tarts Now!" shouted the Fists with excitement, mistaking their renamed opponents for a tasty snack.

First in the spotlight on lanes 1 & 2 were the formidable clash between Schindler's Fists and the freshly renamed It Starts Now! (formerly Glory Bowl). Michael Gordon's stellar 553 series propelled the Fists to a triumphant evening, clinching 3 wins against Starts. The elation within Schindler's Fists was palpable as they maintained their grip on 2nd place, while Starts, led by Brett Affolter's valiant effort with a better-than-normal 502 series, could only secure a lone victory, leaving them in 3rd place, and undoubtedly feeling the sting of the competition and wondering if maybe it starts next week instead.

Next on lanes 3 & 4, the showdown unfolded between the powerhouse Squid Row and the seasoned (and actually somewhat grumpy) Grumpy Old Men. Dennis Walling, a triple threat holding the #1 Head-to-Head, #1 Power-Ranked, and Most Valuable Bowler titles, spearheaded Squid Row to an impressive 3 victories over Grumpy Old Men. Despite AJ Hofmann's motivational 510 series for Grumps, the taste of victory remained elusive, leaving them with a single win and in 4th place. Squid Row continued to reign supreme in 1st place, reveling in the glow of their success.

Lastly, the lanes 5 & 6 witnessed an evenly matched duel between the spirited Sun Dolphins and the resilient DB Lenz a Hand. Scott Thompson's solid 442 series fueled the Dolphins, resulting in a split series against the determined Lenz Handlers. Meanwhile, Doug Lenz, with a better-than-normal 466 series, rallied his team to match their opponent in wins. Sun Dolphins held their ground water in 6th place, savoring the saltwater taste of a hard-fought battle, while Lenz Handlers remained in 5th, feeling the echoes of a well-matched contest.

Bowlers who preferred a visit to The 200 Club after bowling rather than hanging out at the park across the street watching the lightning show include: AJ Hofmann (214), Matthew Taylor (201), and Michael Gordon (213)

In this week's Tournament of Champions brackets: Dennis Walling mopped up Division 1, while Jeremy Varnell whipped Division 2. Nobody claimed victory in Division 3 (though Doug Lenz came closest), and Carl Mueller triumphed over his enemies in Division 4. In terms of overall points: Matthew Taylor calls the shots Division 1; Scott Thompson holds the reins in Division 2; Doug Lenz is in the driver's seat in Division 3; and Ryan Sisco leads Division 4.

NEXT WEEK:

• First, on lanes 1&2, 6th-place Sun Dolphins (hcp 64) will share a couple of pitchers with 4th-place Grumpy Old Men. Dolphins are expected to maintain their current strength as they and split the series with Grumps; while Grumps are forecast to drop their average a bit while they keep the series tied.
• Moving to lanes 3&4, 5th-place DB Lenz a Hand (hcp 47) will compete against 3rd-place It Starts Now!. Lenz Handlers might maintain their current strength as they win the series; while Starts ought to drop their average a bit while they avoid getting swept.
• Finally, on lanes 5&6, 1st-place Squid Row (hcp 3) will test their mettle against 2nd-place Schindler's Fists. Squids are predicted to maintain their current strength as they win the series; while Fists are anticipated to hold steady as they avoid getting swept.

^*(Remember, the predicted results above are based on mathematical extrapolations and can be changed by all sorts of factors. If you don't like how your team's results are predicted, you and your teammates have the power to prove the math wrong!)

THIS WEEK'S MVB Dennis Walling Runner Up: (See Posting)	#1 POWER BOWLER Dennis Walling Runner Up: Scott Murdock	#1 H2H BOWLER Dennis Walling Runner Up: Seth Gunderson
FROM THE GUTTER (GUTTER QUOTE) "I'd take you home with me, sweet thing" Nathan Burrows, to Matthew Taylor, after Scoot declined taking the whisky bottles home.