Despite every match ending 3-1, a stagnated tenth week of Fall 2025 resulted in absolutely no movement in the standings — like a bowling ball that just ran out of spin. But even in still waters, greatness shines. JoAnne Barber picked up this week's high game (126) and series (357) for the women, proving steady precision can still earn top honors. As for the men, Aaron Barber blasted through the competition to claim this week’s high game with a 214, while the ever-dominant Ian Estey earned high series with a stellar 604. The teams may have stayed in their ranks, but the tension? Sky-high. Read on for the rest of the drama, laughter, and heartbreak that defined Week 10, and don't forget to check on your Bingo results.

Trump's Tariff Turkeys
Folks, let me tell you, the Tariff Turkeys were tremendous, absolutely tremendous. Nobody bowls like these guys — I’ve seen a lot of bowlers, some very fine people, but nobody throws strikes like this. AJ Hofmann — a real winner, folks — rolled a 495 series, just crushing it, way above his average. Tremendous power, great follow-through, maybe the best I’ve ever seen. Jim Koger bowled 125, then a 139 — very solid, very consistent — the kind of bowling you just don’t see in Democrat-run alleys. And Scott Murdock — Started slow with 115, but came back with 166 and 153 — a comeback so strong, I should give it to Argentina! Tim Deddens may have been absent, but Kristi tells me his ICE interview was tremendous. The Turkeys took three wins — beautiful wins, one by only one pin, my wins are by much bigger margins — and the crowd loved it, folks, maybe more than the violent radical left loves burning entire cities to the ground. AJ said after, “We make bowling great again,” and frankly, I agree. The Tariffs stay in 2nd place — not for long, though. I predict number one soon. Believe me.

FFK
Across the gutter, FFK faced the Tariffs with determination — and a substitute bowler, Ryan Sisco, who made sure the team didn’t go down without a fight. Ryan stunned everyone with a 177 in Game 2, leading FFK to their lone victory of the night. Dustin Schmeltz also impressed, finishing with a strong 472 series and closing out the evening with a 184, though it wasn’t enough to reclaim momentum. Nathan Burrows and Cat Atwood had flashes of brilliance, especially Nathan’s mid-set 141, but the pins simply refused to cooperate for them. When the dust settled, the team was left devastated — one win out of four, yet proud of their resilience. “We’ll bounce back,” Dustin said, “even if we have to rename ourselves Furious Fluffykins.” FFK remains in 3rd place, and though bruised, they’re far from beaten.

AI's terrible attempt to depict JoAnne's mood change between game 1 and the rest of the series. I guess when it comes to hair, reddish-brown is the new black.

Bowls Deep
Bowls Deep plunged into battle against Gutterly Hopeless, determined to live up to their name by diving headfirst into the challenge. Despite absences from Carl Mueller and Kurt Fredrickson, the two-man duo of Chris Hagan and Mike Fitzgerald fought valiantly. Chris’s series of 362 showed moments of finesse, especially in Game 3 when he clawed back to a solid 138, while Mike contributed a steady 359 anchored by his 135 middle game. Their opening win had them roaring, but the energy couldn’t hold — Gutterly Hopeless proved too strong, taking the next two games and the series. The Deep boys were disappointed but not broken. “Chris and I enjoy going bowls deep together,” Mike joked afterward, “but we just could not thrust deep enough to reach the pins.” Hmm, now I'm not so sure he was joking. Weirdos. Anyway, they remain in 6th place, eyeing redemption.

Gutterly Hopeless
Gutterly Hopeless rose from despair to triumph, claiming 3 wins and the series with a mix of precision and pluck. Substitute Jesse Sauerbrei struggled early with an 88 but roared back in Game 2 with a 129, sparking the team’s turnaround. Jeremy Varnell bowled like a man possessed, hitting 163 — well above his average — and lifting spirits as high as his score. JoAnne Barber, steady as always, notched this week’s high women’s game and series (126 and 357), earning admiration across the league. Jacob Holst added crucial support, helping the team claw back from their slow start. “Hopeless?” Jeremy laughed afterward. “Not anymore.” The team remains in 5th place but is now a squad no one dares to underestimate.

No! Not Theo!
Theo unleashed a masterclass in dominance. Fueled by the incomparable Ian Estey — who claimed trifecta honors as #1 Head-to-Head, #1 Power-Ranked, and Most Valuable Bowler — the team rolled with unstoppable energy. Ian’s 604 series left the pins in awe, while substitute Aaron Barber (filling in and clearly showing no mercy) hammered out a 576 series with a 214 opener that set the tone. Seth Gunderson was a model of steady excellence, and Buck Nasty lived up to his name with a gritty 479. They took 3 of 4 games and the series, celebrating like champions. “Every frame felt electric,” Seth said afterward. “Theo might not be here, but his name sure motivates us.” No! Not Theo! stays in 1st place, looking untouchable.

Squid Row
The Squid squad, though short-handedtentacled, battled valiantly against the league’s top team. Dennis Walling was the clear anchor, outpacing his average with a tremendous 528 series, capped by a booming 200 final game that earned the team their only win of the night. Scott Thompson stayed solid at 433, improving each game as he found his rhythm. But with two members absent and hopefully not turning up in Kenny's deep fryer, the Squids struggled to keep pace. Still, their spirit never faltered. “We might be down a few tentacles,” Dennis quipped, “but we’ll slap back next week.” They remain in 4th place, still dangerous, still defiant, and ready to rise from the deep.

Week 10 may not have shaken the standings, but it rattled the nerves, tested the spirits, and gave the crowd a show worth cheering for. From AJ Hofmann’s powerhouse series to Ian Estey’s total domination, the lanes crackled with energy. Every team left with stories to tell — some triumphant, some tragic, all unforgettable.

Bowlers entering The 200 Club include: Aaron Barber (214), Dennis Walling (200), and Ian Estey (210)

In this week's Tournament of Champions brackets: Dennis Walling conquered Division 1, while AJ Hofmann whipped Division 2. Jeremy Varnell got the better of Division 3, and nobody claimed victory in Division 4 (though Cat Atwood came closest). In terms of overall points: Nick Kinney tops Division 1; AJ Hofmann calls the shots for Division 2; Nathan Burrows runs the show in Division 3; and Chris Lenz reigns over Division 4.

NEXT WEEK:

• First, on lanes 1&2, 1st-place No! Not Theo! will meet with 6th-place Bowls Deep (hcp 192). Not Theo! is expected to perform well and sweep the series; while Deeeeeep is forecast to hold steady as they endure a rough night.
• Moving to lanes 3&4, 4th-place Squid Row will spend some quality time with 3rd-place FFK (hcp 99). Squids might roll a little low, yet still manage to sweep the series; while Fluffykins ought to drop their average a bit while they endure a rough night.
• Finally, on lanes 5&6, 2nd-place Trump's Tariff Turkeys will throw some gutter balls with 5th-place Gutterly Hopeless (hcp 49). Tariff Turkeys are predicted to have a bit of an off night and lose the series but avoid getting swept; while Hopeless are anticipated to hold steady as they enjoy their victories.

^*(Remember, the predicted results above are based on mathematical extrapolations and can be changed by all sorts of factors. If you don't like how your team's results are predicted, you and your teammates have the power to prove the math wrong!)

THIS WEEK'S MVB Ian Estey Runner Up: (See Posting)	#1 POWER BOWLER Ian Estey Runner Up: Dennis Walling	#1 H2H BOWLER Ian Estey Runner Up: Dennis Walling
FROM THE GUTTER (GUTTER QUOTE) "That was the 'wrongest' humping since some of Seth's" Scott Murdock, after Varnell rather intimately got him from behind.