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Rolling Butterballs

Posted by BowlingBot November 21, 2023 Fall 2023, Week 13 View Score Sheets

Thanksgiving week in the Fall 2023 bowling showdown unfolded like a rowdy Thanksgiving dinner, complete with one team soaring to the head of the family table while another team had too much cranberry wine and stumbled face-first into dessert table. Great Aunt JoAnne Barber, our bowling matriarch, dished out this week's high game (141) and series (370) for the women. On the testosterone-fueled side of the family, our weird uncle Kent Harms unleashed a thunderous 209 for the high game, while third-cousin twice-removed Scott Thompson dominated the family brawl with a jaw-dropping 543 series.

Now, let's dig into the chaotic family dynamics on lanes 1 & 2, where Vigs Eras Tour 2023 clashed with the black sheep of the bowling family, √-1. Nick Kinney, the rebellious nephew, ignited The Vigs Tour crew with a blazing 539 series, leading to a Thanksgiving-esque split with the eccentric Imaginary Number clan. Grandpa Scott Murdock, with better-than-normal 452 series that reeked of Ben-Gay, led Imaginary Number in a counterstrike, leaving this family feud in a tie. Despite the chaos, Vigs Eras Tour 2023 clung to their 1st-place throne, while Imaginary Number found themselves banished to the kids' table, slipping one spot to 5th.

This always happens after someone pulls Jeremy's finger at the dinner table.

On lanes 3 & 4, the Thanksgiving saga continued with the distantly-related DB Lenz a Hand argued politics with the hyper-religious Sun Dolphins clan, the relatives who always make a splash (usually by hogging all the gravy). Doug Lenz, the powerhouse great-step-uncle, delivered an above-average 493 series, but alas, DB Handlers found themselves swept away by the Dolphins' tidal wave of prayers, strikes and hurled giblets. Meanwhile, the the only member of his family that doesn't currently have warrants out, Scott Thompson, wearing the trifecta crown, orchestrated a turkey-filled feast with his commanding 543 series that also got him #1 Head-to-Head, #1 Power-Ranked, and Most Valuable Bowler. This led the Dolphins to a triumphant sweep. DB Lenz a Hand remained in the cellar at 6th place, while the Dolphins continued to revel in 3rd place glory.

Finally, the family reunion on lanes 5 & 6 featured Balderdash hanging out with the raucous Glory Bowl, a pair of feuding siblings with more strikes than shared DNA. Matthew Taylor, the eccentric cousin with no table manners, headlined the Bald Boys with a below-average 516 series, scoring only one win against the formidable G-Holers. On the other side of the Thanksgiving table, Kent Harms, the bowling patriarch with a better-than-normal 530 series, ruled over the the portion sizes on the G-Holer plates, securing 3 wins for his team. Balderdash clung to their 2nd-place status like the last piece of pumpkin pie, while the G-Holers, the newly crowned favorites, moved up one spot to 4th, leaving the bowling alley in a state of chaotic bliss.

Now, as we clear the plates and put away the bowling balls, let's give thanks for the ups, the downs, and the downright hilarious moments on the lanes. Bowling, like family, is a wild ride, and we're grateful for each strike, spare, and gutter ball that keeps us coming back for more. And we are also thankful to those who dispense our beer, reset our pins, and return our balls. Until next week, happy bowling and happy Thanksgiving, ya dysfunctional bunch!

Bowlers who managed to claim all the recliners in The 200 Club while everyone else had to do the dishes include: Brett Affolter (204), Kent Harms (209), Matthew Taylor (200), and Scott Murdock (203)

In this week's Tournament of Champions brackets: Nobody claimed victory in Division 1 (though Nick Kinney came closest), while Scott Thompson rolled his ass to the top of Division 2. Doug Lenz creamed Division 3, and JC Cox claimed victory in Division 4. In terms of overall points: Aaron Barber and Nick Kinney call the shots in Division 1 in a tie; Ben Spencer tops Division 2; Doug Lenz leads Division 3; and Brian Schaben reigns over Division 4.

NEXT WEEK:

  • First, on lanes 1&2, 2nd-place Balderdash will battle 6th-place DB Lenz a Hand (hcp 117). Bald Boys are expected to roll a little low, yet still manage to win the series; while DB Handlers are forecast to hold steady as they avoid getting swept.
  • Moving to lanes 3&4, 1st-place Vigs Eras Tour 2023 will hang out with 4th-place Glory Bowl (hcp 85). The Vigs Tour crew might roll a little low, yet still manage to sweep the series; while the G-Holers ought to drop their average a bit while they endure a rough night.
  • Finally, on lanes 5&6, 3rd-place Sun Dolphins (hcp 36) will tussle with 5th-place √-1. Dolphins are predicted to have a bit of an off night, but split the series with Imaginary Number; while Imaginary Number is anticipated to drop their average a bit while they keep the series tied.

*(Remember, the predicted results above are based on mathematical extrapolations and can be changed by all sorts of factors. If you don't like how your team's results are predicted, you and your teammates have the power to prove the math wrong!)

THIS WEEK'S MVB


Scott Thompson
Runner Up:
(See Posting)

  #1 POWER BOWLER


Scott Thompson
Runner Up:
Kent Harms

  #1 H2H BOWLER


Scott Thompson
Runner Up:
Doug Lenz

  FROM THE GUTTER (GUTTER QUOTE)
"The cover story is he's in Ireland, but I have it on good word he's actually in treatment with his proctologist for excessive gravy leakage."

Matthew Taylor, on Dennis Walling's absence.

EXPANDED STANDINGS
Pos. Team name Record Percent Total Pins Change
1 Vigs Eras Tour 2023 33-19 .635 25,476 n/a
2 Balderdash 28-24 .538 26,042 n/a
3 Sun Dolphins 27-25 .519 20,795 n/a
4 Glory Bowl 24-28 .462 21,013 +1
5 √-1 23.5-28.5 .452 22,553 -1
6 DB Lenz a Hand 20.5-31.5 .394 20,960 n/a

Top Individual Achievements for Week 13
Men's High Series Scratch Women's High Series Scratch
Scott Thompson - 543
Nick Kinney - 539
Kent Harms - 530
Matthew Taylor - 516
Aaron Barber - 508
JoAnne Barber - 370
Men's High Series Handicap Women's High Series Handicap
Scott Thompson - 663
Kent Harms - 630
Doug Lenz - 625
Scott Murdock - 600
Nick Kinney - 594
JoAnne Barber - 554
Men's High Game Scratch Women's High Game Scratch
Kent Harms - 209
Brett Affolter - 204
Scott Murdock - 203
Matthew Taylor - 200
Michael Gordon - 193
JoAnne Barber - 141
Men's High Game Handicap Women's High Game Handicap
Scott Murdock - 252
Kent Harms - 242
Brett Affolter - 234
JC Cox - 231
Scott Thompson - 223
JoAnne Barber - 202
Men's Pins Over Average Women's Pins Over Average
Scott Murdock - 65
Kent Harms - 51
JC Cox - 46
Brett Affolter - 42
Nicholas Knight - 36
JoAnne Barber - 18


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