The sixth week of Fall 2026 brought a night of bowling drama, personal records, and a little movement in the standings! One team climbed a spot while another slipped, and the pins were flying as bowlers chased glory on the lanes. I'm Alotta Tenpin, reporting live from the snack bar, while in the next room the competition is heating up and the bowlers are making their mark! JoAnne Barber captured the women's high game with 137 and high series with 393, while Dennis Walling dominated the men's leaderboard with a 233 game and 582 series. Jesse Sauerbrei, Brandon Cook, and Todd Kasik rolled new personal-best games, while Brandon, Todd, and Kyle Weber celebrated personal-best series. Let's get to the action, and don't forget to check out this week's bingo results!

On lanes 1 and 2, One Woman, Three Excuses and Rat & Roll squared off in a contest that started with the rodents nibbling on victory before the Excuses turned the tables. Rat & Roll claimed the opening game, but One Woman, Three Excuses rallied to take the next two games and the total series, finishing with three wins out of four. Doug Lenz, the team's substitute, contributed a steady 423 series, while Jeremy Varnell earned both the #1 Head-to-Head and Most Valuable Bowler awards. Meanwhile, Brandon Cook and Kevin Hodge each rolled 431 series for Rat & Roll, but their team's lone victory wasn't enough to keep them from slipping in the standings.

One Woman, Three Excuses had plenty to celebrate after turning an opening-game loss into a three-win performance! JoAnne Barber, channeling her fondness for dogs and wine into ball finesse via some sort of sorcery, delivered the women's high game of 137 and high series of 393. Jeremy Varnell earned two awards and finished with a 138 in Game 3, a mighty improvement over his 95 average. Jesse Sauerbrei endured a miserable opening 83 before charging back with a 144 in the final game, setting a new personal-best league game and leading the team in that contest. Doug Lenz, the substitute, kept things steady throughout with his 423 series. "We started with an excuse, but finished with three wins!" Jeremy Varnell shouted while attempting to swat Kevin's left butt cheek. The Excuses won Games 2 and 3 and the total series, climbing one spot to 3rd place and now sitting on the cusp of a winning record.

Rat & Roll came out squeaking with an opening-game victory, and Brandon Cook immediately had reason to celebrate with a personal-best 155 game! Brandon kept the momentum going for a personal-best 431 series, matched by Kevin Hodge, whose 157 was the team's highest game of the night. But the cheese began to crumble as the Excuses rallied, leaving the rodents with just one win out of four. David Schemenauer, whose 153 average set a high bar, struggled to find his usual rhythm, while Kyle Weber celebrated a personal-best 361 series. Brandon and Kevin gave the team plenty to toast, but Rat & Roll lost the next two games and the total series. The cellar's finest vintage had turned to vinegar, and the Rats slipped one spot to 4th place. "We had the cheese, we had the wine, and then those Excuses spoiled the whole vintage!" Brandon Cook surmised.

The Queenpins vs. Fist My Bump

On lanes 3 and 4, The Queenpins faced Fist My Bump in a royal rumble with an interstellar twist! Fist My Bump captured the first two games and the total series, while the Queenpins salvaged the third game. Jon Little's 558 series and 218 final game gave the royal court plenty of firepower, but AJ Hofmann's 210 and the team's strong opening games helped Fist My Bump secure three of the four games. The Queenpins had individual reasons to celebrate, but their opponents were the ones leaving the lanes with the series victory.

The Queenpins found themselves in a royal pickle after losing the first two games, but they refused to surrender without a fight! Jon Little, who missed the first game, still managed a spectacular 558 series, including a 218 that was 46 pins above his average and the team's highest game of the night. (That was a nearly-clean game, topped by the closest attempt at picking up 7-10 split this reporter has ever seen!) Ryan Sisco, a distinguished gent whose gray facial stubble sends my nether regions into a tingle, rebounded from a difficult opener with a 155 in Game 2, 22 pins above his average. Todd Kasik also found his footing after an 89, rolling a personal-best 146 game and personal-best 376 series. Lindsay Sargent was away attending a royal wedding in Zamunda, leaving the royal court short one member. Despite those individual achievements, the Queenpins managed only one win in four games and remain in 5th place. "I rolled a 218, and somehow the crown still wasn't enough!" Jon Little declared.

Fist My Bump blasted off with victories in the first two games, then let the Queenpins claim the third before securing the total series. That's three wins out of four, and this crew is celebrating like Rocky just delivered the perfect "Amaze! Amaze! Amaze!" Scott Murdock had a "rocky" launch with 115 before figuring out his new xenonite ball and surging to a 175 in the final game. AJ Hofmann delivered a stellar 210 in Game 2, 50 pins above his average and the team's highest game. Tim Deddens also launched with a 172 in Game 1, a whopping 42 pins above his 130 average, a game so good even Irina Petrova might blush in the infrared. Jim Koger has been doing a lengthy EVA colleecting samples so missed the fun. The team remains in 2nd place, keeping its mission objectives firmly on track. "Amaze! We secured the series, and the Queenpins couldn't stop our mission! Fist my bump!" AJ exclaimed.

Finally, down on lanes 5 and 6, BowlJobs went tentacle-to-testicle with Squid Row. The Squids took the first two games and the total series, while BowlJobs managed to salvage the third. Dennis Walling's explosive performance led the Squids, while Chris Hagan delivered a late-game surge for the Jobs crew. BowlJobs put up a fight, but the deep-sea squad secured three of the four games and held onto its place at the top of the standings. It was a match filled with individual fireworks, but the Squids had the final say.

BowlJobs arrived ready to do their "jobs", but Squid Row had other plans! Carl Mueller found his way to a late surge, rolling a 150 in Game 3, 28 pins above his average. But the real fireworks came from Chris Hagan, who exploded for a 178 in Game 3, a remarkable 49 pins above his average. His 421 series was the team's best, and his late surge helped BowlJobs win that final game. Mike Fitzgerald struggled to find his usual rhythm, including a 103 in Game 2, well below his 134 average. The team won just one of four games and remains in 6th place. "I gave them a 178, and all they gave me was disappointment!" Chris Hagan complained. However, let me tell you, this reporter would happily volunteer for some extra "jobs" on the side with that crew!

Squid Row descended upon the lanes with all the confidence of a deep-sea empire, and Dennis Walling was their mighty kraken! Dennis opened with 126 before unleashing a phenomenal 233 in Game 2, a whopping 65 pins above his average and the highest over-average game of the night! He followed with 223, another 55 pins above average, earning the #1 Power-Ranked honor with a 582 series. His 233 was also the men's high game, while his 582 series topped the men's series leaderboard. Matthew Taylor contributed a strong 193 in Game 1, while Chris Windham helped keep the Squids afloat. Ben Spencer was too busy fighting with some random dude in a sperm whale's stomach to participate. The Squids won the first two games and the total series, dropping the final game to BowlJobs. That's three victories out of four, and the deep-sea champions remain in 1st place! "I bowled a 233, and the rest of the alley should be grateful I didn't bring the whole ocean!" Dennis Walling insisted.

And that's a wrap on Week 6, bowling fans! One Woman, Three Excuses found three victories after an opening stumble, while Rat & Roll is left nursing its bruised ego with a glass of something expensive. The Queenpins may have claimed a game, but Fist My Bump successfully navigated its interstellar mission. BowlJobs managed to salvage a game with a late surge from Chris Hagan, while Squid Row continues to reign supreme, powered by Dennis Walling's spectacular 233 and 582 series. The standings have shifted, personal records have fallen, and the alley is already buzzing with anticipation for next week. Will the Squids maintain their grip on first? Can the Excuses keep climbing? Will the Rats finally get their cheese back? Tune in next time, when Alotta Tenpin returns to the sidelines for more bowling drama, questionable analysis, and glorious pin action!

Bowlers entering The 200 Club include: AJ Hofmann (210), Dennis Walling (233,223), and Jon Little (218)

A new personal high game was set tonight by Jesse Sauerbrei (144, previous best 143).

In this week's Tournament of Champions brackets: Nobody claimed victory in Division 1, and in fact we aren't even going to talk about Division 1 as it was a complete embarassment, while Tim Deddens shut down Division 2. Brandon Cook vanquished Division 3, and Jeremy Varnell crushed Division 4. In terms of overall points: Matthew Taylor calls the shots for Division 1; Tim Deddens is in the driver's seat in Division 2; Carl Mueller runs the show in Division 3; and Brian Schaben reigns over Division 4.

NEXT WEEK:

• First, on lanes 1&2, 2nd-place Fist My Bump  (hcp 101) will throw some gutter balls with 1st-place Squid Row. Fist My Bump is expected to maintain their current strength as they get swept; while Squids are forecast to hold steady as they rack up a sweep.
• Moving to lanes 3&4, 6th-place BowlJobs (hcp 23) will chuck some balls with 4th-place Rat & Roll. BJs might roll a little low, but split the series with Rats; while Rats ought to drop their average a bit while they keep the series tied.
• Finally, on lanes 5&6, 3rd-place One Woman, Three Excuses (hcp 50) will share a couple of pitchers with 5th-place The Queenpins. Excuses are predicted to maintain their current strength as they and split the series with Queenpins; while Queenpins are anticipated to hold steady as they keep the series tied.

^*(Remember, the predicted results above are based on mathematical extrapolations and can be changed by all sorts of factors. If you don't like how your team's results are predicted, you and your teammates have the power to prove the math wrong!)

THIS WEEK'S MVB Jeremy Varnell Runner Up: (See Posting)	#1 POWER BOWLER Dennis Walling Runner Up: Brandon Cook	#1 H2H BOWLER Jeremy Varnell Runner Up: Dennis Walling
FROM THE GUTTER (GUTTER QUOTE) "This has been the best way I've ever met a new friend!" Todd Kasik, to Tim Deddens, after their balls slammed into each other's in a malfunctioning ball return.

Pos.	Team name	Record	Percent	Total Pins	Change
1	Squid Row	20-4	.833	12,156	n/a
2	Fist My Bump	18-6	.750	9,944	n/a
3	One Woman, Three Excuses	11-13	.458	8,297	+1
4	Rat & Roll	9-15	.375	9,145	-1
5	The Queenpins	8-16	.333	9,466	n/a
6	BowlJobs	6-18	.250	8,852	n/a