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Slow and Steady Wins the Race

Posted by ScooterJ March 1, 2016 Spring 2016, Week 5 View Score Sheets

For most of the league it was simply too far past their bedtimes, but those who stuck around to the end experienced quite the show. That said, much like the conclusion of bowling this week, we'll come to that in due time.As Scott Murdock walked into the bowling alley this evening, he noticed Jonathan Vigliaturo standing outside near the back door. Making eye contact, Scoot flashed him a grin, followed by a point and a nod as if to say "you're going down," Scoot headed inside, where he then learned that JV was in fact in another state and Scoot had instead just taunted a total stranger that happened to resemble him. The embarrassment of this apparently set his tone for the evening, as Scoot would go on to earn this week's Least Valuable Bowler accolade. Though Sean Simmons stepped up to lead 404: Team Name Not Found to a single victory with his 490 series, this matchup quickly fell under the spell of John Boren. Rolling a punishing 661 series, Boren took Fallop Ian to decisive victories for the remainder of the series. Fallop Ian remains in 1st place, while 404: Team Name Not Found, despite their three losses, moves up 1 spot to 4th.

Holy Sandbaggers, Batman! has been on a streak of not being the last team to finish this season, and tonight was no exception. In fact, for at least the second time, they finished first! Speaking of first, for the first time all season Glory Bowl got to have four rows of real, human scores on their scoresheet with the late addition of Matt O'Dell to their roster. Andrew Finger of Glory Bowl had a great night with a 544 series, but it was no match for Aubrey Moren's 597 series. Securing the only sweep of the night, Holy Sandbaggers, Batman! remains in 2nd place; while Glory Bowl drops 1 spot to 5th.

This is not a photo. This is a video, playing at actual speed, of the third game between Bowlgasmic and Split Sisters. If you fast forward through it at a high enough speed, you can actually see continental drift happen before your eyes.

Eons from now, long after the oceans have all boiled away, after the Sun has swollen into a red giant and then collapsed into a white dwarf, when the stars begin to die out and the very particles making up the basis of matter itself begin evaporating out of existence -- somewhere, somehow, Bowlgasmic and Split Sisters will only just be starting their third game. But what a game -- and series -- it will be. In a matchup that had to have been fun for all involved except possibly Kody Karnes (who has to be wondering by now if he'll ever be on a winning team again) -- Split Sisters finally broke out of their funk and won their first series. As the bowling alley staff performed their closing tasks, Amber Waddle led her team in a 3-1 victory with 454 series, while a confused Kody Karnes, led his team to their solitary win. Bowlgasmic remains in 6th place, and Split Sisters remains in 8th.

Finally, way down at the end, was a bowling matchup that was nearly impossible to notice over all the cheering and hollering of the gals to their left. Split It & Hit It, missing only their leadoff bowler, battled it out to a stalemate with Bowies In Space. While Dennis Blake's 615 series topped Split It, it was Mark DeVoe who truly earned their team's two wins as he took both Most Valuable Bowler and #1 Power Ranked Bowler. Aaron Barber and his 671 series led Bowies to their half of the wins -- though unlike DeVoe he earned no other accolades and will continue not to until his team starts living up to its promise to dress like David Bowie each week. Split It & Hit It remains in 7th place, while Bowies In Space remains in 3rd.

This week in Tournament of Champions, Dennis Blake continues his lead of Division 1. Aubrey Moren took the Division 2 victory this week, joining Seth Gunderson and Andrew Finger in a close early race. Dennis Laube edged out Sean Simmons this week in Division 3 though they are now tied, and Mark DeVoe steps up in Division 4 to challenge the early lead of Amber Waddle.Bowlers who eventually slipped into The 200 Club just before closing time this week include: Aaron Barber (237,208,226), Aubrey Moren (205,203), Carl Goetz (236,225), Dennis Blake (202,212,201), Dustin Schmeltz (209), John Boren (225,224,212), Kody Karnes (217,205), Phil Schroeder (201), and Russell Bingham (229)See you next Tuesday!

THIS WEEK'S MVB


Mark DeVoe
Runner Up:
(See Posting)

  #1 POWER BOWLER


Mark DeVoe
Runner Up:
Aaron Barber

  #1 H2H BOWLER


John Boren
Runner Up:
Aaron Barber

  FROM THE GUTTER (GUTTER QUOTE)
"F*CK!!!"

Bob Brunker, better known as the first half of the Bob Brunker / Rob Kaszuba Good Sportsmanship Award, on realizing Split Sisters were going to win three tonight.

EXPANDED STANDINGS
Pos. Team name Record Percent Total Pins Change
1 Fallop Ian 15-5 .750 11,209 n/a
2 Holy Sandbaggers, Batman! 15-5 .750 9,874 n/a
3 Bowies In Space 12-8 .600 10,845 n/a
4 404: Team Name Not Found 10-10 .500 8,475 +1
5 Glory Bowl 10-10 .500 8,131 -1
6 Bowlgasmic 8-12 .400 9,835 n/a
7 Split It & Hit It 6-14 .300 9,004 n/a
8 Split Sisters 4-16 .200 6,549 n/a
Top Individual Achievements for Week 5
Men's High Series Scratch Women's High Series Scratch
Aaron Barber - 671
John Boren - 661
Carl Goetz - 647
Dennis Blake - 615
Kody Karnes - 603
Amber Waddle - 454
Angela Bradford - 422
Angie Betts - 402
Michelle Tollefson - 360
Michelle Shoemaker - 330
Men's High Series Handicap Women's High Series Handicap
Aaron Barber - 673
Mark DeVoe - 669
John Boren - 668
Dustin Schmeltz - 663
Carl Goetz - 661
Amber Waddle - 641
Angie Betts - 601
Michelle Tollefson - 544
Angela Bradford - 532
Michelle Shoemaker - 517
Men's High Game Scratch Women's High Game Scratch
Aaron Barber - 237
Carl Goetz - 236
Russell Bingham - 229
John Boren - 225
Kody Karnes - 217
Amber Waddle - 180
Angela Bradford - 159
Angie Betts - 144
Michelle Tollefson - 133
Michelle Shoemaker - 132
Men's High Game Handicap Women's High Game Handicap
Russell Bingham - 251
Dustin Schmeltz - 249
Mark DeVoe - 241
Carl Goetz - 240
Aaron Barber - 237
Amber Waddle - 242
Angie Betts - 210
Angela Bradford - 195
Michelle Tollefson - 194
Michelle Shoemaker - 194 (t)
Men's Pins Over Average Women's Pins Over Average
Dustin Schmeltz - 59
Mark DeVoe - 58
Russell Bingham - 57
Carl Goetz - 42
Sean Simmons - 41
Amber Waddle - 58
Angie Betts - 27
Michelle Tollefson - 10
Michelle Shoemaker - 10 (t)
Leslie Patton - 5
Angela Bradford - 5 (t)

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