A stagnated seventh week of Spring 2009 resulted in absolutely no movement in the standings. Freda Schroeder picked up this week's high game (192) and series (514) for the women, while Pat Searcy earned this week's high game (252) and series (662) for the men. Read on for all the rest of the details!

First up, on lanes 19 & 20: Turkey Sandwich spent a romantic evening with Chicks With Balls. Regardless of the star power of Jason Carpio with his 538 series, Turkey Sandwich accomplished only 1 win against the Chicks. Concurrently, Janelle (Laube) Lamar called the shots for the Chicks with her above-average 435 (with kudos to Most Valuable Bowler Kelly Minihan) as her team took the series with 3 wins. Turkey Sandwich remains in 7th place, while the Chicks remain in 5th.

On lanes 21 & 22: Rule 6B chucked gutter balls with Capt. Awesome & Wonder Friends. Topped by Ryan Doll with his 486 series, Rule 6B collected 3 wins against Wonder Friends. Simultaneously, Ryan Housknecht showed off in Wonder Friends with his above-average 407 despite his team notching only a single win. Rule 6B remains in 3rd place, while Wonder Friends remain in 8th.

On lanes 23 & 24: No Pinheads spent some quality time with Schlitz For Us, Splits For You. Showcasing Pat Searcy with his thrilling 662 series, No Pinheads collected 3 wins against Schlitz. Countering this, Bob Brunker took the lead in Schlitz with his 548 despite his team notching only a single win. No Pinheads remains in 2nd place, while Schlitz remains in 1st.

On lanes 25 & 26: XXX matched wits with Chico's Bail Bonds. Though reinforced by Rich DeYoung with his above-average 518 series, XXX accomplished only 1 win against Chico's. Meanwhile, #1 Power Ranked and #1 Head-to-Head Carl Goetz oversaw Chico's with his fantastic 632 as his team took the series with 3 wins. XXX remains in 9th place, while Chico's remain in 4th.

Finally, down on lanes 27 & 28: Sh!t, Another Season couldn't stop inappropriately groping WWJB. Led by Rob Kaszuba with his above-average 496 series, Another Season celebrated a clean sweep over WWJB. On the other side, AJ Taylor shined in WWJB with his 392 despite his team getting swept. Sh!t, Another Season remains in 6th place, while WWJB remains in 10th.

Bowlers paying far too much for well vodka at The 200 Club include: Bob Brunker (221), Carl Goetz (222,214), Jason Carpio (202), and Pat Searcy (252,234)

In this week's Tournament of Champions brackets: Nobody claimed victory in Division 1 (though Jason Carpio came closest), while nobody claimed victory in Division 2 (though Rich DeYoung came closest). Chris Lewis swept Division 3, and Ryan Housknecht trounced Division 4. Finally, Carl Goetz (Division 1) walloped this week's Interdivisional bracket. In terms of overall points: Carl Goetz reigns over Division 1; Phil Schroeder dominates Division 2; Chris Lewis is in the driver's seat in Division 3; and Deena Slinkard governs Division 4.

NEXT WEEK:

• First, on lanes 19&20, 4th-place Chico's Bail Bonds will challenge 8th-place Capt. Awesome & Wonder Friends (hcp 159). Chico's are expected to maintain their current strength as they win the series; while Wonder Friends are forecast to raise their average even as they avoid getting swept.
• Moving to lanes 21&22, 10th-place WWJB (hcp 158) will chill with 2nd-place No Pinheads. WWJB might perform well, yet still manage to get swept; while No Pinheads ought to raise their average while they rack up a sweep.
• Then, over on lanes 23&24, 7th-place Turkey Sandwich will throw some gutter balls with 9th-place XXX (hcp 31). Turkey Sandwich will likely roll decently and win the series; while XXX will probably raise their average even as they avoid getting swept.
• Next up, on lanes 25&26, 6th-place Sh!t, Another Season will hang out with 5th-place Chicks With Balls (hcp 152). Another Season might roll a little low and lose the series but avoid getting swept; while the Chicks ought to raise their average while they enjoy their victories.
• Finally, on lanes 27&28, 3rd-place Rule 6B (hcp 25) will meet with 1st-place Schlitz For Us, Splits For You. Rule 6B is predicted to maintain their current strength as they get swept; while Schlitz is anticipated to raise their average while they rack up a sweep.

THIS WEEK'S MVB Kelly Minihan Runner Up: (See Posting)	#1 POWER BOWLER Carl Goetz Runner Up: Pat Searcy	#1 H2H BOWLER Carl Goetz Runner Up: Chris Lewis
FROM THE GUTTER (GUTTER QUOTE) "Did you see that dance AJ kept doing in his approach tonight? Someone needs to get that guy some Preparation H." David Parre, hoping to administer it himself.