The fifth week of Spring 2008 saw three teams climb in the standings, while three teams slipped. Angela Bradford landed this week's high game for the women with a 199, and women's high series was bagged by Freda Schroeder with a 534. As for the men, Cory Chorpenning snagged this week's high game with a 237, and high series was earned by Don Glasscock with a 659. Read on for all the rest of the details!

First up, on lanes 19 & 20: ? spent a romantic evening with Split Happens. Starring John Coleman with his 524 series, ? celebrated a clean sweep over Split Happens. Meanwhile, Ryan Simonet ruled Split Happens with his above-average 466 despite his team getting swept. ? remains in 5th place, while Split Happens sink 1 spot to 10th.

On lanes 21 & 22: 3 Dudes and a Doll couldn't stop inappropriately groping Sofa King Good. With the strength of Ryan Doll with his above-average 582 series, 3 Dudes and a Doll collected 3 wins against Sofa King. On the flipside, Don Glasscock mastered Sofa King with his 659 despite his team notching only a single win. 3 Dudes and a Doll remains in 1st place, while Sofa King remains in 4th.

On lanes 23 & 24: Bad Newz Kennels entered a showdown to the death with You Don't Know Sh!t. Led by Dennis Laube with his above-average 548 series, and supported tremendously by real star — trifecta-winner #1 Power-Ranked, #1 Head-to-Head, and Most Valuable Bowler Aubrey Moren, the Kennels collected 3 wins against Don't Know Sh!t. Concurrently, Cory Chorpenning shined in Don't Know Sh!t with his 643 despite his team notching only a single win. Bad Newz Kennels leap 1 spot in the standings to 2nd place, while Don't Know Sh!t sinks 1 spot to 3rd.

On lanes 25 & 26: Dios Mios kept stealing sips of beer from Ebowla. Even though highlighted by the skills of Bill Krejci with his (either injured, sick, or sandbagging) 486 series, Dios Mios accomplished only 1 win against Ebowla. In the midst of this, Travis Kleiner guided Ebowla with his below-average 451 as his team took the series with 3 wins. Dios Mios leap 1 spot in the standings to 7th place, while Ebowla moves 1 spot to 9th.

Finally, down on lanes 27 & 28: It's Britney, Bitch shared a few beers with Dr. Strangelanes, Or How I Learned To Stop Opening And Earn The Belt. Though featuring Dave Winger with his 416 series, Britney got swept by Dr. Strangelanes. While that was going down, Seth Gunderson oversaw Dr. Strangelanes with his 566 as they swept the competition. It's Britney, Bitch drops 1 spot in the standings to 8th place, while Dr. Strangelanes remain in 6th.

Bowlers getting the VIP treatment in The 200 Club include: Cory Chorpenning (237,216), David Parre (204), Dennis Laube (208,202), Don Glasscock (213,232,214), John Coleman (204), Kendall Kukowski (209), and Ryan Doll (220,206)

In this week's Tournament of Champions brackets: Kendall Kukowski rolled his ass to the top of Division 1, while Scott Murdock claimed victory in Division 2. John Richardson topped Division 3, and nobody claimed victory in Division 4 (though Rob Kaszuba came closest). Finally, Aubrey Moren (Division 4) walloped this week's Interdivisional bracket. In terms of overall points: Kendall Kukowski tops Division 1; David Parre and Scott Murdock call the shots in Division 2 in a tie; John Richardson reigns over Division 3; and Aubrey Moren runs the show in Division 4.

NEXT WEEK:

• First, on lanes 19&20, 8th-place It's Britney, Bitch (hcp 142) will match wits with 2nd-place Bad Newz Kennels. Britney is expected to maintain their current strength as they get swept; while the Kennels are forecast to hold steady as they rack up a sweep.
• Moving to lanes 21&22, 7th-place Dios Mios will share a couple of pitchers with 5th-place ? (hcp 19). Dios Mios might roll a little low and get swept; while ? ought to raise their average while they rack up a sweep.
• Then, over on lanes 23&24, 10th-place Split Happens (hcp 154) will hang out with 4th-place Sofa King Good. Split Happens will likely maintain their current strength as they get swept; while Sofa King will probably hold steady as they rack up a sweep.
• Next up, on lanes 25&26, 1st-place 3 Dudes and a Doll will face 6th-place Dr. Strangelanes, Or How I Learned To Stop Opening And Earn The Belt. 3 Dudes and a Doll might maintain their current strength as they win the series; while Dr. Strangelanes ought to drop their average a bit while they avoid getting swept.
• Finally, on lanes 27&28, 9th-place Ebowla (hcp 172) will meet with 3rd-place You Don't Know Sh!t. Ebowla is predicted to maintain their current strength as they lose the series but avoid getting swept; while Don't Know Sh!t is anticipated to drop their average a bit even as they enjoy their victories.

THIS WEEK'S MVB Aubrey Moren Runner Up: (See Posting)	#1 POWER BOWLER Aubrey Moren Runner Up: Kendall Kukowski	#1 H2H BOWLER Aubrey Moren Runner Up: Kendall Kukowski
FROM THE GUTTER (GUTTER QUOTE) "You must be here to fix the cable." Kendall Kukowski, getting his hopes up.