The fourteenth week of Spring 2025 brought drama, surprises, and heartbreak to the lanes. For some, one of the surprises is that -- despite more than one person stating to the contrary -- the Championship was not clinched last night and while it remains unlikely (in one case very unlikely), two teams are still mathematically capable of overtaking FILPB before the season ends.

One team clawed its way up the leaderboard, while another tumbled down a notch. On the individual front, Cat Atwood scorched the lanes with this week's high game (165) and series (366) for the women. Among the men, Nathan Burrows stormed in with a 223 high game, while Aaron Barber dominated the series leaderboard with a 594. But that’s only the beginning — the lanes had stories to tell.

First up, on lanes 1 & 2: Squid Row faced off against the stealthy strikers of FFK. The Squids, led by a strong 553 series from Matthew Taylor, might have thought they had this cat in the bag. But FFK had other plans. Channeling the fierce energy of a team with nothing to lose and everything to prove, the explosive 502 series by Nathan Burrows lit the way for a 3-1 triumph that left jaws -- and limp tentacles -- on the floor. With Cat and Nathan both rolling 50+ pins over average in game 1, the Kittens beat the Squids scratch (both literally and metaphorically) in that game. “We knew we were the UnderKitties,” laughed Cat afterward, “but tonight, we knocked over more than pins — we knocked over expectations and probably a couple of vases, too.” Squid Row, stunned and wobbling like the 10-pins they left standing, slips one spot into 3rd place. Meanwhile, FFK, tails high and paws outstretched, holds steady in 6th — but with their momentum that could now easily improve.

On lanes 3 & 4: It was a massacre masked as a match. The relentless powerhouse FILPB squared off against Bowls Deep in a lopsided clash that felt more like a scripted tragedy. With Aaron Barber on a tear — claiming the trifecta of #1 Head-to-Head, #1 Power-Ranked, and Most Valuable Bowler honors — his 594 series carried FILPB to a merciless sweep. Chris Hagan rolled a respectable 376 for Bowls Deep, but the team still sank without a single win to their name. “We didn’t just lose,” whispered Chris Hagan barely audible over the sound of falling pins as he rubbed himself with Brian's ball wax, “We got annihilated. But at least this wax feels damn nice.” FILPB remains in 1st but has NOT clinched despite the rumors, while Bowls Deep stays submerged in 5th.

Finally, down on lanes 5 & 6: Gutterly Hopeless battled , and the loading of the name did not disappoint — at least for them. Despite a valiant 370 from Chris Lenz, Hopeless was mercilessly swept by the upward-charging Team Name Loading. Scott Murdock's confident 486 series guided his crew to a 4-0 domination that left no frame unclaimed. “We came in cool and quiet,” said Tim, “but we’re leaving with second place and fire in our fingers.” Hopeless, crestfallen and silent, remains stalled in 4th, while Team Name Loading uploads themselves one position higher into 2nd place.

Bowlers bullshitting their way into The 200 Club include: Aaron Barber (201,205) and Nathan Burrows (223)

In this week's Tournament of Champions brackets: Matthew Taylor clobbered Division 1, while Nathan Burrows creamed Division 2. Tim Deddens triumphed over his enemies in Division 3, and nobody claimed victory in Division 4 (though Chris Hagan came closest). In terms of overall points: Matthew Taylor leads Division 1; Scott Murdock is in the driver's seat in Division 2; Tim Deddens tops Division 3; and Cat Atwood runs the show in Division 4.

NEXT WEEK:

• First, on lanes 1&2, 5th-place Bowls Deep will socialize with 4th-place Gutterly Hopeless (hcp 19). DEEEEEEP is expected to maintain their current strength as they win the series; while Hopeless are forecast to drop their average a bit while they avoid getting swept.
• Moving to lanes 3&4, 2nd-place will roll against 6th-place FFK (hcp 24). Team Name Loading might roll a little low and lose the series but avoid getting swept; while Kittens ought to hold steady as they enjoy their victories.
• Finally, on lanes 5&6, 1st-place FILPB (hcp 6) will compete against 3rd-place Squid Row. Eff It is predicted to roll decently and just barely miss sweeping the series; while Squid is anticipated to hold steady as they just barely avoid getting swept.

^*(Remember, the predicted results above are based on mathematical extrapolations and can be changed by all sorts of factors. If you don't like how your team's results are predicted, you and your teammates have the power to prove the math wrong!)

REMINDER: Next week is the bowling fee payment deadline! All bowling fees for the season must be paid in full next Tuesday unless other arrangements are made personally with AJ or Scott.

THIS WEEK'S MVB Aaron Barber Runner Up: (See Posting)	#1 POWER BOWLER Aaron Barber Runner Up: Tim Deddens	#1 H2H BOWLER Aaron Barber Runner Up: Matthew Taylor
FROM THE GUTTER (GUTTER QUOTE) "I hope you're not playing with yourself over there. Especially if you're thinking of me." Jeremy, to Scoot, in the men's room, while Scoot was simply emptying his bladder and NOT DOING ANYTHING ELSE.

Pos.	Team name	Record	Percent	Total Pins	Change
1	FILPB	40.5-15.5	.723	27,284	n/a
2	(Team Name Loading)	35.5-20.5	.634	24,736	+1
3	Squid Row	33-23	.589	27,616	-1
4	Gutterly Hopeless	20.5-35.5	.366	20,448	n/a
5	Bowls Deep	19.5-36.5	.348	21,167	n/a
6	FFK	19-37	.339	23,289	n/a