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Time Dilation

Posted by ScooterJ February 22, 2022 Spring 2022, Week 5 View Score Sheets

By now every team has bowled each other once, so next week the cycle begins anew. This week saw one team climb in the standings, and one bowler set both a new personal best series and a new personal high game. JoAnne Barber picked up this week's high game (134) and series (385) for the women. As for the men, Seth Gunderson snagged this week's high game with a 246, and high series was earned by Ian Goetz with a 614. Read on for all the rest of the details, and learn how the concept of time dilation was demonstrated fully this evening.

First up, on lanes 1 & 2: With both teams missing a member, the three remaining members of Going, Going, BALD! couldn't stop undressing with their eyes the present members of Glory Bowl as each took their stance upon the lanes. Though reinforced by Matthew Taylor with his above-average 591 series, Baldness fell to their knees whence their eyes had seen coming of the the Glory of the Bowl. Meanwhile #1 Power-Ranked Kent Harms and his staggering 601 series called the shots for Glory (with kudos to Most Valuable Bowler Brett Affolter) as they swept the competition. Going, Going, BALD! remains in 2nd place, while Glory remains in 3rd.

On lanes 3 & 4: In a rather lopsided matchup, a portion of ChuckaScoot celebrated their love of big balls with the back half of Flamboyant Fluffykins. Propelled by the skills of #1 Head-to-Head Ian Goetz and his above-average 614 series, Scoot Chuckers enjoyed a clean sweep over Fluffykins. Countering this, Dustin Schmeltz with his 495 series showed off for Flamboyant despite his team getting swept. ChuckaScoot remains in 1st place, while Flamboyant sinks 1 spot to 6th.

In the movie Interstellar, it was noted that due to the world's proximity to the black hole, the intense gravity caused such intense time dilation that for each hour spent on Miller's Planet, seven years passed on Earth. This was demonstrated tonight on lanes 5 & 6, where the intense gravitational field caused by eight bodies compressed into a small seating area slowed time to such an extent that for each frame rolled by these two teams, 7 frames were rolled by everyone else. With the narrowest of handicaps, The Wally McWallingtons nearly turned bowling into an all-nighter spent with Splits & Giggles. Despite the "strength" of Scott Murdock with his below-average 457 series, The McWallingtons got swept by Giggles. Meanwhile, Jeremy Varnell with his better-than-normal 445 series reigned supreme within Giggles as they swept the competition. The Wally McWallingtons remains in 4th place, while Giggles move up 1 spot to 5th.

Bowlers ducking past the bouncer at The 200 Club include: Brett Affolter (203), Ian Goetz (211,204), Kent Harms (212,243), Matthew Taylor (204,206), and Seth Gunderson (246)

A new personal high game was set tonight by Kent Harms (243, previous best 230). In addition, a new personal best series was rolled by Kent Harms (601, previous best 574).

In this week's Tournament of Champions brackets: Nobody claimed victory in Division 1 (though Matthew Taylor came closest), while Brett Affolter spanked Division 2. Jeremy Varnell ruled Division 3, and nobody claimed victory in Division 4, and in fact we aren't even going to talk about Division 4 as it was a complete embarassment. In terms of overall points: Matthew Taylor governs Division 1; Kent Harms reigns over Division 2; Jeremy Varnell and Chris Windham run the show in Division 3 in a tie; and Collin Lavery holds the reins in Division 4.

NEXT WEEK:

  • First, on lanes 1&2, 6th-place Flamboyant Fluffykins will chuck some balls with 5th-place Splits & Giggles (hcp 8). Flamboyant is expected to maintain their current strength as they sweep the series; while Giggles are forecast to drop their average a bit while they endure a rough night.
  • Moving to lanes 3&4, 4th-place The Wally McWallingtons (hcp 42) will meet with 3rd-place Glory Bowl. The McWallingtons might roll a little low and get swept; while Glory ought to hold steady as they rack up a sweep.
  • Finally, on lanes 5&6, 2nd-place Going, Going, BALD! (hcp 47) will face 1st-place ChuckaScoot. Baldness are predicted to have a bit of an off night and get swept; while Scoot Chuckers are anticipated to raise their average while they rack up a sweep.

*(Remember, the predicted results above are based on mathematical extrapolations and can be changed by all sorts of factors. If you don't like how your team's results are predicted, you and your teammates have the power to prove the math wrong!)

THIS WEEK'S MVB


Brett Affolter
Runner Up:
(See Posting)

  #1 POWER BOWLER


Kent Harms
Runner Up:
Brett Affolter

  #1 H2H BOWLER


Ian Goetz
Runner Up:
Brett Affolter

  FROM THE GUTTER (GUTTER QUOTE)
"Man, I kept grabbing Matthew Taylor's balls by mistake tonight!"

Kent Harms, enjoying bowling to the fullest.

EXPANDED STANDINGS
Pos. Team name Record Percent Total Pins Change
1 ChuckaScoot 17-3 .850 11,034 n/a
2 Going, Going, BALD! 13-7 .650 10,000 n/a
3 Glory Bowl 13-7 .650 8,111 n/a
4 The Wally McWallingtons 6-14 .300 7,896 n/a
5 Splits & Giggles 6-14 .300 7,477 +1
6 Flamboyant Fluffykins 5-15 .250 7,677 -1

Top Individual Achievements for Week 5
Men's High Series Scratch Women's High Series Scratch
Ian Goetz - 614
Kent Harms - 601
Seth Gunderson - 601 (t)
Matthew Taylor - 591
Brett Affolter - 562
Aaron Barber - 556
JoAnne Barber - 385
Emily Nicolet - 305
Men's High Series Handicap Women's High Series Handicap
Kent Harms - 704
Brett Affolter - 670
Ian Goetz - 666
Seth Gunderson - 651
Aaron Barber - 644
Emily Nicolet - 557
JoAnne Barber - 550
Men's High Game Scratch Women's High Game Scratch
Seth Gunderson - 246
Kent Harms - 243
Ian Goetz - 211
Matthew Taylor - 206
Brett Affolter - 203
JoAnne Barber - 134
Emily Nicolet - 119
Men's High Game Handicap Women's High Game Handicap
Kent Harms - 277
Seth Gunderson - 262
Brett Affolter - 239
Jeremy Varnell - 234
Dustin Schmeltz - 229
Emily Nicolet - 203
JoAnne Barber - 189
Men's Pins Over Average Women's Pins Over Average
Kent Harms - 86
Seth Gunderson - 67
Brett Affolter - 48
Jeremy Varnell - 48 (t)
Chris Windham - 40
Dustin Schmeltz - 38
Emily Nicolet - 24
JoAnne Barber - 3


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